a lesser known branch of mathematics that studies douchebags. Douchenometry deals with the relationship between the modern day douchebag and doucheassery.
Douchenometry should be a mandatory prerequisite class prior to working at any Ed Hardy clothing store.
sample theories
1. douchebagA + douchebagB = 2 too many douchebags in one area
2. The shortest distance between two douchebags is always the other direction
The very rare merging of the commonly known douche and the largest known tool to man.
Signs that someone you know is a douchetool include:
They sporadically engage in random Tourette-like fist pumping.
They claim that they get many women when in fact they do not.
They proceed to change their facebook name to something that is different than their real name.
They are commonly known to flake on you if your not out on the lake because of their weird lake fetish.
Rony "Swisshouse" - Yo Swizzham check out mah facebook name!
Ashik "Swizzham" - Hell ya, let's fist pump to that Swishy Sweezy Swizz baby
Beth was supposed to meet me for lunch in the city. I took the train 45 minutes into the city but she blew me off because she was so enveloped in her excessive email binges. She really is the queen of douchedom.
DoucheTooth(noun)A phone accessory which generally goes in ones ear that lets everyone know you are a super important douche and way too busy for in-person human contact.
Jill: honey I have something really important to tell you. I ha..
Dave: (toggles Douchetooth and interrupts) Sorry babe I gotta take this.
Jill: your a f*ing douche