Any sort of issues related to and/or involving semen. This can include cum in the face/hair, the inability to cum, cumming too fast, or the ever-dreaded cum in the pants.
"So we were hooking up last night, and he came in his pants." That's a real cumundrum!
Cigarette: Northern slang for a cigarette, used oft by mashed up mancunian ravers becasue of the resemblance of a hot(electric)stove to the end of a lit cigarette. Originated circa 1991 in the early halcyon days of the rave culture; we speculate during a drug fuelled hallucination by said manc.
'fuck me noel, i am bolloxed, is that a ciggy in your mouth, or the stove from me 'nans kitchen'/
General use: 'Give us a stove you cunt'