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1.
A Calv is a German youtube-user who hates anything non-German, but especially the British, French, Americans, Turkish, Muslims and Jews. A Calv will believe all kind of rubbish, including that Germany is the greatest country in the world, and that the German language is the most beautiful language in the world.

A Calv will claim he is super rich and pretend he has had an amazing lifestyle, like meeting the British Queen; the US President and giving advice to the German Chancellor at some point or other as well as having a €65,000 car and a new car every other month.

All in all, a Calv is one sad, lonely, pathetic excuse for a human being who lives in his Hungarian mother's basement which is filled with Swastika's and posters of Hitler.
Person X: "There's this German youtube user who is a right nasty piece of work, but at least he's not a Calv - they're ten times worse!"
by ajjcjHQ October 10, 2010
 
2.
Calv is an East German that gets his ass kicked on YouTube all day everyday, he's a deluded person with no shame in getting owned on YouTube, he's a copycat, a lier, and he is also known to want to fuck his girlfriend up the ass while her father is dying.

TeutonicRage and most other Teutonic's are just the same.
Don't be a Calv, leave her ass out of it, she's got a lot on her plate!
by The destroyer is me July 26, 2011
 
3.
Lower-Rhine wannabe German
I envy the damn Dutch, cause I'm just a Calv.

Man, it sucks to be a Calv! Wish I was Dutch.
by NietzscheForEver June 14, 2011
 
4.
A Calv is a well-respected member of the YouTube community whose elite education, high social standing and amazing looks often intimidate less privileged community members - or persons in general - and provoke a negative, in some cases extremely hateful response.

A Calv is German, arrogant and masterful by nature, but always willing to negotiate between the parties to prevent an argument. There is only one true Calv. Altogether, he is very tolerant and moderate in his attitudes. He is just adorable.

Speaking of 'him', he is of course a male, in his late twenties and desired by a vast group of beautiful young ladies from all over the world, especially from the South of Germany. He loves to take his German cars to the autobahn, because he likes it real fast. He's an adventurer and he is nuts on the Indiana Jones movies. His special interest is to humiliate people he's through with. And when he humiliates, he also destroys them in his very own style. He only does that on the internet and when seriously challenged. In the real world he's entirely peaceful and a real chiller, gentleman and idol for the inferior masses.

A Calv always rules.
by moff2011 June 14, 2011
 
5.
to do something without emotion or machine like

he was very calv when playing football
by David Miers May 09, 2008