I would like to set the record straight about my city.
Yes, Calgary blows.
But it is STILL better than Edmonton.
We have ALL kinds of people...
Which means that, in fact, no we are not all red neck hicks. I would say like any other city we've got every kind of person... You can't honestly believe that you can group one million people into one category.
No, the night life is not fantastic, but it is still good. There are around five clubs that are pretty awesome.
I do believe that Calgary's just a baby still. It's growing up and, FINGERS CROSSED, it's only gonna get cooler (it obviously can't get worse).
Yes, Calgary blows.
But it is STILL better than Edmonton.
We have ALL kinds of people...
Which means that, in fact, no we are not all red neck hicks. I would say like any other city we've got every kind of person... You can't honestly believe that you can group one million people into one category.
No, the night life is not fantastic, but it is still good. There are around five clubs that are pretty awesome.
I do believe that Calgary's just a baby still. It's growing up and, FINGERS CROSSED, it's only gonna get cooler (it obviously can't get worse).
by Roar1234567890987654321 March 18, 2011
Calgary is a beautiful city in western Canuckistan. It is known by insiders for a nearly omnipotent police force; indeed, the Calgary police regularly catches heinous criminals in the act of parking more than 200 cm from the curb.
The city with the most insanely expensive cars per capita.
For the mathematically inclined, Calgary's road system was designed from scratch to be an example that shows that solving NP-complete problems while driving is bad.
Calgary consistently ranks in the top 10 cities in terms of quality of life and eco-friendliness. These are less defining characteristics, and more properties. However, a defining characteristic is that Calgary receives the second strongest Chinook winds; Lethebridge receiving the strongest Chinook winds. Chinook winds are sent by the Gods to make everyone sick by quickly altering the temperature from -20 to +20.
The city with the most insanely expensive cars per capita.
For the mathematically inclined, Calgary's road system was designed from scratch to be an example that shows that solving NP-complete problems while driving is bad.
Calgary consistently ranks in the top 10 cities in terms of quality of life and eco-friendliness. These are less defining characteristics, and more properties. However, a defining characteristic is that Calgary receives the second strongest Chinook winds; Lethebridge receiving the strongest Chinook winds. Chinook winds are sent by the Gods to make everyone sick by quickly altering the temperature from -20 to +20.
Driver: I got a ticket for having my steering wheel turned to 22 degrees while parked.
Friend: You must have parked in Calgary.
At a distance...
Police trainee (to Officer): Shouldn't I feel bad about giving such ridiculous tickets.
Police officer: No. Everybody in Calgary is rich.
----
Newcomer to Calgary: Whoa, is that a Ferrari being followed by a Lamborghini?
Calgarian: Pick your jaw up! I bought two last week, you can have one if you want.
----
Driver: How do I get to your place; I'm on the opposite end of the city?
Friend on phone: It's easy. Just solve the k-Clique problem for k=33.
----
If it's too cold for you, wait 10 minutes.
Friend: You must have parked in Calgary.
At a distance...
Police trainee (to Officer): Shouldn't I feel bad about giving such ridiculous tickets.
Police officer: No. Everybody in Calgary is rich.
----
Newcomer to Calgary: Whoa, is that a Ferrari being followed by a Lamborghini?
Calgarian: Pick your jaw up! I bought two last week, you can have one if you want.
----
Driver: How do I get to your place; I'm on the opposite end of the city?
Friend on phone: It's easy. Just solve the k-Clique problem for k=33.
----
If it's too cold for you, wait 10 minutes.
by Calgarian November 8, 2011
The stupidest, most boring, cold, shitty city in the world where people say sorry for anything and we also live in igloos.
by the holy grail of baby launche September 30, 2019
Dude, I just went on vacation to Calgary, and there was a parade with all these fake cowboys and shit.
by insane adventurer March 11, 2015
most hated city in canada, even though it keep this country afloat. best jobs, most money, hottest girls.. must be why were so hated, everyones jealous. while were raking in the dough, buying new cars and houses, the rest of the country is either getting layed off from car factorys or cod fishing or complaining about why were so rich, just shutup and take ur ei cheques and go back to your pathetic existances. now if only the fagget easterners go back to ur fishing towns(new brunswik), wanna be hollywood fake ass gangsters go back to your made up ghettos(ontario) or worst of all fucking fagget ass frog frenchman fudgepackers go back to eating pouteen or whatever you do, when will you finally seperate so we finally dont have listen to ur stupid pussy ass threats. i have an idea, how about ALBERTA seperates, we'll take our money, oil and everything else the rest of the country mooches off of us and the rest of canada can go fuck themselves. take that bitch
by dontGETit May 27, 2009
by Centron1 November 12, 2005
The best City in Alberta! We've got the Flames, who are getting to be a really strong team. We also have the "Best outdoor show on earth", known to be the Calgary Stampede. Which by the way is a blast to go to. To agree with Edmonton people, I don't think it should be the Capital, we wouldn't want a bunch of political crap in our city. Not to mention we can drive 45 minutes and be at some amazing skiing and snowboarding locations. So to sum up this definition. Calgary is the place to be. (We are also wicked rich). By the way, Practically no one has mullets and every city on earth has sluts. We kick booty.
by Véronique April 3, 2006