Calgary is a beautiful city in western Canuckistan. It is known by insiders for a nearly omnipotent police force; indeed, the Calgary police regularly catches heinous
criminals in the act of parking more than 200 cm from the curb.
The city with the most insanely expensive cars per capita.
For the math
ematically inclined, Calgary's road system was designed from scratch to be an example that shows that solving NP-complete
problems while driving is bad.
Calgary consistently ranks in the top 10 cities in terms of quality of life and eco-friendliness. These are less defining characteristics, and more properties. However, a defining characteristic is that Calgary receives the second strongest Chinook winds; Lethebridge receiving the strongest Chinook winds. Chinook winds are sent by the Gods to make everyone sick by quickly altering the temperature from -20 to +20.
Driver: I got a ticket for having my steering wheel turned to 22 degrees while parked.
Friend: You must have parked in Calgary.
At a distance...
Police trainee (to Officer): Shouldn't I feel bad about giving such ridiculous tickets.
Police officer: No. Everybody in Calgary is rich.
Newcomer to Calgary: Whoa, is that a Ferrari being followed by a Lamborghini?
Calgarian: Pick your jaw up! I bought two last week, you can have one if you want.
Driver: How do I get to your place; I'm on the opposite end of the city?
Friend on phone: It's easy. Just solve the k-Clique problem for k=33.
If it's too cold for you, wait 10 minutes.