Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."-John 14:16
by Emery Day April 4, 2007
a kid in my english class.
by m.m.b.b April 12, 2005
A fictional character created by a cult that developed into Christianity. Jesus is now falsely thought to have existed and some even think he was the son of god... and god.. at the same time. There is no historical evidence, writings or anything about Jesus during the time he supposedly lived. No accounts of Jesus were written until decades after he supposedly ascended into heaven. 30 or more years passed before he was written about, which was about the average life span back then. So how did a whole new generation write about something they didn't even witness for themselves? Don't you think some people would write about Jesus WHILE he was performing these miracles? Mithras Dionysus share VERY similar stories with Jesus and had cults like Christianity. You should not believe anything you’ve just read, but look up the evidence facts, and decide for yourself. Luigi Cascioli has accused the catholic church of falsely saying Jesus existed. They will have to present evidence that he did. If they cannot accomplish this they will no longer be able to say Jesus existed as a fact in Italy. This should be a fairly large blow to christianity.
by FreeThinker2007 August 17, 2007
by Flealan July 18, 2006
by Kenneeeeee January 24, 2008
He is not our savior, he's just a guy with a dirty shirt who tries to sell you tamales in the Walmart parking lot. And when you say no, he offers to fix the dent in your car, or install drywall in your basement.
AKA Haysuse.
Hola, I Jesus. Jew want tamales?
No tamale....... Me do drywall work forjew. Me fix that dent forjew. Me need deniro por new chuse.
Hola, I Jesus. Jew want tamales?
No tamale....... Me do drywall work forjew. Me fix that dent forjew. Me need deniro por new chuse.
by Too-funny September 18, 2009
I haven't read the Bible, but here's what I've deduced about Jesus from watching Fox News:
1.) Jesus is a die-hard Republican. He spends a lot of his time reading books by Ann Coulter and appearing at fundraisers for groups like Focus on the Family.
2.) Jesus was among the earliest proponents for the invasion of Iraq, and even today He sees the deaths of tens of thousands of innocent civilians as a necessary price to pay for installing a western-style democracy in Iraq.
3.) Jesus is an outspoken proponent of supply-side economics, which favor tax cuts to the wealthy. He's also a huge fan of Ronald Reagan.
4.) Jesus thinks that poor people are poor because they are lazy.
5.) Jesus is appalled by same-sex marriage. He thinks that straight people who hate each other have more of a right to be married than two gay people who love each other. Jesus strongly feels that a person's sexuality is a matter of choice.
6.) Jesus does not believe that global warming is caused by humans. He also thinks that intelligent design should be taught in science classes.
7.) Jesus supports capital punishment, and that's why He desperately wanted George W. Bush to be president, and He couldn't be more pleased with how the Bush Administration turned out.
8.) Jesus never misses the O'Reilly factor. And He absolutely hates the Colbert Report.
9). Jesus is radically opposed to a provision of health care to all citizens. He thinks it would lead to a welfare state.
10. And finally, Jesus is really upset that Barack Obama won the 2008 election. He has decided that a second coming will be necessary, and He will rapture people into the heavens on the basis of their party affiliations and campaign contributions.
1.) Jesus is a die-hard Republican. He spends a lot of his time reading books by Ann Coulter and appearing at fundraisers for groups like Focus on the Family.
2.) Jesus was among the earliest proponents for the invasion of Iraq, and even today He sees the deaths of tens of thousands of innocent civilians as a necessary price to pay for installing a western-style democracy in Iraq.
3.) Jesus is an outspoken proponent of supply-side economics, which favor tax cuts to the wealthy. He's also a huge fan of Ronald Reagan.
4.) Jesus thinks that poor people are poor because they are lazy.
5.) Jesus is appalled by same-sex marriage. He thinks that straight people who hate each other have more of a right to be married than two gay people who love each other. Jesus strongly feels that a person's sexuality is a matter of choice.
6.) Jesus does not believe that global warming is caused by humans. He also thinks that intelligent design should be taught in science classes.
7.) Jesus supports capital punishment, and that's why He desperately wanted George W. Bush to be president, and He couldn't be more pleased with how the Bush Administration turned out.
8.) Jesus never misses the O'Reilly factor. And He absolutely hates the Colbert Report.
9). Jesus is radically opposed to a provision of health care to all citizens. He thinks it would lead to a welfare state.
10. And finally, Jesus is really upset that Barack Obama won the 2008 election. He has decided that a second coming will be necessary, and He will rapture people into the heavens on the basis of their party affiliations and campaign contributions.
by Jack Torrance-Overlook Hotel January 10, 2009