Top Definition
Someone that nobody fucks with.
"Nobody fucks with The Jesus!" - The Jesus
by shnoogins07 December 14, 2008

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Jesus Quintana from The Big Lebowski
Nobody fucks with the Jesus!
by arjaywheeler November 12, 2007

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The legendary sexual act in which you need 4 girls to do. 1 is riding, 1 on your face, 1 hand is fingering a girl and the other hand is doing the same. Legs are in a straight out together and your arms are spread out so your body is in the formation of a cross. THE JESUS.
Dude last night was so wild, I did the Jesus on these girls.

Last night was legendary, I jesused these 4 girls.
by Keffery D October 31, 2013

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When you are nailing a girl in the butt standing up and you hold her arms outsrtretched like she is on the cross. She must then say CRUSIFY ME BABY!
Alan: I was nailing kathryn last night and we switched positions and i started doing the jesus.

Marc: what did she say?

Alan:CRUSIFY ME BABY!

Marc: WOAH nice you get bonus points!
by XC Liberty League September 22, 2009

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The legendary and incomprehensibly dumb act of consuming Bacardi 151 and then using tequila as a chaser. The term "The Jesus" derived from an urban legend that a student at UC Irvine named Jesus wanted to get himself and his guy friend really drunk by taking shots of 151 and chasing it with tequila, so they could try the Arabian Goggles on each other with no shame whatsoever.
Joe: Yo I'm REALLY horny right now! Let's get really trashed by doing The Jesus and then do the teabag on each other.

SJ: Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww that's gross you sick bastard!
Tequila is soooooooo disgusting! Let's just do the teabag without doing The Jesus!

Joe: Ok
by UCI_Pwns August 08, 2007

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something very cool/exiting/awesome
"Yo, that party last night was the Jesus!"
"I'm gonna get some new shoes. they are the Jesus."
by blowjob7 April 28, 2008

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Looking like Jesus when jumping off a platform on Nickelodeon GUTS.
HOLY SHIT!!! Did you just see that cunt doing "THE JESUS"??
by Bob Tibbles November 23, 2006

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