an instance in which our minds trick us into believing a falsehood, or something that is not true.
girl 1: i dont want to go to the party! everyone will laugh at my dress.
girl 2: you don't know that! you're jumping to conclusions; and that's a cognitive distortion.
by crestfallendays July 31, 2018
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An experiance by a hetero man when he sees a girl with long blond hair. The girl may or may not be fugly but he will but unsure for sometime.
She is really a brute, when I banged here I was under blong distortion.
by Maximus August 6, 2003
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Noun.
A form of spanglish and other made up words used widely in the Miami Lakes and Hialeah areas of South Florida. Founded by two brothers Andre and Migz Arellano circa 1998 and since then it has spread to the local scene in said area.
"Most teenagers in Miami Lakes and Hialeah now speak to each other in distortion language."
by Chingon December 15, 2005
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distorted vision it the running mate of the blur not his sidekick they split the leader duties don the middle he has the ame powers as the blur but he also uses guns and knives and swords and shit like that
distorted vision will blow yer goddam hed off while you are hiding from the blur
by billy aka the nessilator November 4, 2003
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Like the notorious reality distortion field (RDF) of Steve Jobs, a Vagina Distortion Field (VDF) affects perception, which thereby alters behavior. When someone is affected by a woman's VDF, every aspect of her being seemingly improves in that person's view. A woman's VDF typically only influences those who have not yet had access to said vagina. Being warped by a VDF is different than being pussy whipped. With the latter, the whipped individual behaves abnormally to maintain access to the pussy, but perception of the vagina owner is not altered. The VDF often has the greatest affect on the owner of the vagina, making her vastly overestimate her worth, influence, and potential.
Spock: "Captain, you are once again risking the lives of the entire crew in the pursuit of some green slag."

Kirk: "Mr. Spock, your libido-less Vulcan logic fails to grasp the enormity of the daily Pon Farr that starship command subjects on a man."

Spock: "Mr. Sulu and Mr. Chekov, move the Enterprise as far as is necessary and raise whatever shield is needed to protect the captain's mind from the insidious Vagina Distortion Field that is destroying his judgement."

Kirk: "Spawwwwwwwwwk!!!"

<cue Kirk fight music>
by Bachelor boB January 13, 2012
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It means exactly what it sounds like it means. When Steve says or does something, the very nature of reality is altered.

Steve says that Safari is the best web browser out there? It is.
Steve says that the iPhone gives you the "true internet"? It does.
Steve suggests that you need a bigger brighter screen to watch video on your Nano? You do.
Steve informs you that the ability to create ringtones from music you already own for an additional $.99 is a good deal? It is.

These are not the droids you're looking for.

$599 is a completely reasonable price for a sexy cell phone.
Wait! Now $399 is a completely reasonable price for a sexy cell phone.

You need a new iPod.
The reality distortion field was in full effect at Apple's keynote today.
by Cziltang Brone September 5, 2007
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