Hp stands for HOLY papa this laptop's awesome.
Greatest purchase made &
Holy papa this guineas jealous
Anyone who says HP sucks cant AFFORD ONE and are sad they dont have a huge awesome laptop like I do.
Thing works great and you cant judge since you never owned one and cant afford it anyway, stupid idiot
Hewlett Packard
by A to the Izzo October 7, 2006
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Flushing your fecal matter before wiping, to avoid clogging an old or inadequate plumbing system with a high volume of feces and toilet paper.
"Our staff toilet will overflow unless you give it a Hewlett helper"
by davemarcis911 July 26, 2019
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A very good computer company. Unlike what most people say, HP constantly provides what you paided for. Now HP cry babies will come along and yell about how their top of the line system sucks because it ain't so top of the line anymore. Blame the company because you can't spend $50 a month to keep it up-to-date.

Further more, Computer Illiterate people will come along and claim that the machine is making strange noises, or that it is too slow. Guess what... it is called a damn virus you idiots. Spyware Aware and probally half of your porn collection is wormed. Heck, torrent downloads have a 5:1 chance of containing trojans and you probally STILL don't have Alcohol 120%.

The Majority of hardware issues are caused because of your stupidity throwing the laptop accross the room will not make it work better. Also to be noted is that only geeks should be allowed to touch computer hardware... macho men don't have a big enough brain to do more then rip out the wires and smash their graphics card like a monkey.

All in all, HP is both cheaper then dell in all 'real' fields. Sure dell can sell you a do-nothing computer, but HP will sell you a system that works, and is actually worth buying.

Why post this? Because half of you are too ignorant to know how to turn your computer on... let alone take it to the store to get fixed.
Idiot: "Hewlett Packard sucks"
Smart: "Go do the world a favor and shoot yourself."
Idiot: "How?"
Smart: "Here, I'll do it for you"

Idiot: "My hp computer sucks... lets go buy an alienware computer... it looks cooler"

Idiot: "Hey, Hewlett Packard Support... YOU SUCK, MY COMPUTER IS BROKEN AND IT IS ALL YOUR FAULT"
Support: "Did you run a virus scan?"
Idiot: "Uhh"
Support: "How about put in that 'recovery cd' that came with your computer"
Idiot: "Uhh"
Support: "Or do you even have your computer insured?"
Idiot: "Uhh"
Support: "Have a nice day"

Idiot: "Dude, HP sucks, it can't run Black"
Smart: "And how old is your computer"
Idiot: "Eight years... but it runs Doom 1 SOO GOOD"
by STFU Whiners May 7, 2006
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A great computer company until you actually open it up and see the cluttered mess inside. They are good computers but pretty hard to customize.
"I opened my Hewlett Packard to find the RAM hidden behind a bunch of loose wires."
by MetalPunk December 4, 2008
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The makers of overpriced printers and crash happy computer systems.
Duuude, you're getting an HP, Duuuuude, you got rocked!
by Gimli July 15, 2003
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Crappiest Computer Company ever. after a few years, the computer will have hardware problems. Your Laptop won't charge due to broken power socket or your CD Burner on your desktop starts to make funny noises. They are also hard to upgrade because wires are everywhere so it's hard to upgrade your memory, harddrive, etc.
Person: Why my laptop won't charge?
Person2: It's a Hewlett Packard. ~_~
by HP hater December 21, 2004
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A computer and computer peripherals company. Although the desktops and laptops can have some serious drawbacks, ther accessories (printers, sanners, and the like) are actually worth the money.
On the computer side problems often arise where certain components start to break. The CD/DVD drive has been a very common occurance. There have been claims of the computer making noise form start-up.
If you must by a HP computer makes sure it is a new one and not refurbished as it will be even worse.
Man: My Hewlett Packard is broken again.
Man 2: And you were expecting what?
by SalixR June 4, 2006
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