Northern Turdburglers are a group of
small to medium sized
brown colored birds with most species being found in the Old
World, New Jersey, and West Virgina. The group is treated either as a single
family, Dukeieous Maximus or as a suborder Flyingousdoodooeatious. There are roughly 2 species of Turdburgler. All have fat heads, scooped bills, short legs, and a terrible sense of smell. Non-coincidentally Northern Turdburglers smell like shit, this is mainly due to their preferred diet of
pure human excrement. A nocturnal creature Turdburglers can be spotted diving into sewer systems scooping up dung for their young. Northern Turdburglers reproduce every 36 hours and lay their
eggs in piles of human poo-poo as to for nobody will mess with dey babies. The Northern Turdburgler has an expected life span of approximately 2 to 6 weeks and smells very bad.
