measure twice, cut once

Proverb

1) (Literally, carpentry) One should always double check one's measurements before cutting materials to minimize the chance of mistakes thus wasting materials, time and money.

2) (Figuratively, when describing oneself) Plan and prepare careful and thorough manner before taking action

Random1: I am a measure twice, cut once type of guy. I always plan everything I do ahead of time and carefully to make sure everything runs smoothly when I start

by Richardoyu September 19, 2010

pleasure you can't measure

Wow, isn't this the grate-ist catch-fraez EVAR!

Do not buy products with this slogan in thier advertising campaign. Ever.

by Kung-Fu Jesus May 4, 2004

Equator Penis Measuring System

The Equator Penis Measuring System (EPMS) is the system that gives an approximation of one's penis size. Generally speaking, the closer you live to the Ecuador, the larger your penis is. For example, Africans and Latin Americans living on the equator will have penises measuring around 11 or 12 inches hard, while the English and Scottish living up north have penises measuring 3 inches flaccid, or up to 5 inches hard. There are also intermediate points. Italians, for example, have penises about 6 inches flaccid, and 8 inches hard.

Example of the Equator Penis Measuring System

Canadian: Eh, my penis is aboot 3 inches.

Italian: What's a matta you, uh?? I got a 8 inch sausage! It could slap you and break-a your face!!

Black guy: Y'all niggas is small. I got 12 inches up in this muthafucka. Y'all my bitches now. SHIT JUST GOT REAL!!! SHIT JUST GOT REAL!!!

by rogerthewhale March 8, 2013

standard underscoah measurement system

The standard underscoah measurement system (no thats not a typo) is a specialized measurement system for certain communities. It is currently in use in The Kingdom of Bread. the system is a length based system, comprising of 4 different lengths,

The standard baguette = 16 in or 406.4 millimeters
The smoot = 5ft 7in or 1.7018 meters
The big boi = 1.7 mi or 2.7 km
The Italy = 706.25 miles or 1136.5992 kilometers

"what measurement system do you use?"

"I use the standard underscoah measurement system"

by Apple Byter February 21, 2020

bust out that tape measure

1). Usually said in big dick pornos, the female is often taken in pictures where she is measuring her male actors penis. This does not apply to Asian males in porn, i repeat, does not apply to Asian males.

2). List of pornos that often have picture of of adult actresses with the TAPE MEASURE:
-Insanecockbrothers
-Pornstarslikeitbick
-MilFslikeitbig
-MonstersOfcock
-freaksOfcock

Female Pornstar: wow, your cock is so huge, i got to see how long it is.

Male Pornstar: well then, bust out that tape measure and we'll find out. =)

by Zach Mason January 29, 2008

measuring tape in her purse

A woman who only goes out with guys with big dicks thus the measuring tape. She measures a guys equipment and if it is not of a certain length she says "next."

You do not want to go out with her if she carries measuring tape in her purse.

by hollywood doc September 15, 2006

Dick measuring contest

Something you try to win if you're the kind of guy that thinks a female would rather have sex with you than cut your dick off. Whether you have 2 or 4 inches of hard dick, or 8 to 10 inches of flaccid dick, if it's laying out in a cornfield in the moonlight, what's the difference? The blood is black either way, and it's no longer attached to the rest of you.

If you ask females, having sex with a female, having sex with nobody, and cutting a guy's dick off would be before having sex with a guy on a list of things to do that day. Perhaps Lorena Bobbitt flipped a coin, heads he keeps his dick, tails his dick goes in the cornfield, and she didn't tell him which way the coin flip went until he woke up the next morning. That would be a way to suprise a guy that put more importance in coming first in the dick measuring contest than anything else in life.

by The Original Agahnim June 30, 2021