Haslam 

An attractive male monkey, little, but capable of ferocity. Physical features include very soft, fine hair and an enormous mouth full of teeth. An insatiable libido and high intelligence level render the Haslam one of the most successful and competitive of his species.

'I want to stroke that Haslam'
'Don't anger the Haslam, he bites'
'That Haslam's not small where it counts' ;)

Haslam by Dellumn February 4, 2013

Haslam 

A Phrase Used as a compliment or to congratulate someone. Also commenly mistaken for member of islamic faith, whereas originating in greater manchester. Term created by Rob Haslam

"Go on, have a Has" or "Oh hes done a Haslam"

Haslam by rklane January 19, 2009

Haslam 

A guy who has two dads

Imagine being haslam

Haslam by Another guy on the Internet September 1, 2020

Haslam 

{Haz-luhm} noun: a person of wealth, affluence, or social status who repeatedly makes poor decisions or mistakes involving a franchise in the spirit of sports and competition.

Verb: the function of making a sports franchise uncompetitve and disdained through consistently poor decisions by a person or persons of wealth, affluence, or social status.

Noun example: Did you see ownership is trading our best player? What a Haslam.

Verb example: Wow, we really Haslamed this offseason now that Myles Garrett was traded.

Haslam by Anonymous Browns Fan February 3, 2025

Haslam 

aka "Jed Clampett." A hillbilly who fell ass-backwards into inheriting multi-generational wealth, but he's as stupid as the day is long. And despite all of his money, he just can't stop tripping over his own dick.

- You're kidding me, THAT guy owns a sports franchise?

- Yeah, he's a real Haslam.

Haslam by Roberto_Shenanigans February 6, 2025

The Haslam Shake 

When you go to a house party and drink so much that you shit everywhere in your friend's bathroom. #TheHaslamShake

"If you go into my bathroom, please do not do the Haslam Shake."

The Haslam Shake by DamianaSola February 11, 2014

Michael Haslam 

An Extreme Wheeler. Fucks all the bitches in town, and gets a new one every night.

Guy 1: Im so proud of myself... I had a threesome with the two hottest girls in our school last night.
Guy 2: Settle down there Michael Haslam!

Michael Haslam by Jonas Timothy Gamao October 15, 2011