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Congratsubating 

Masterbating after accoplishing something, or after being proud of ones' self
A guy has been crushing on a girl for a while and finally get her number/a date

Guy 1: Dude im so happy, this girl is so hot.
Guy 2: So what you going to do are u going to call her up

Guy 1: No i think imma head out for a congratsubating session. See you later

GUy 2: WTF MAN!! GROSS
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congrasturbating 

Creating a problem that affects millions of people, then praising oneself for fixing only the small part of the problem that affects you and then masturbating.
congrasturbating - what your congress did today

Congratubating 

The practice of, upon reaching an accomplishment, rewarding oneself with a vigorous masterbation session.
Once Jimmy scored 90% on his test he was finally able to celebrate by congratubating himself!
Congratubating by Dirty Daddie June 16, 2013

Congratsturbating

Creating a problem that affects millions of people, then praising oneself for fixing only the small part of the problem that affects you and then masturbating.

(from April 29th, 2013 The Daily Show with Jon Steward) - featuring the Urban Dictionary word "Procrasturbating"
Sen. Susan Collins (R): "It's nice to know, that when we work together we really can solve problems!"

Jon: "Yeah, how nice from you - I think I have a new word for the Urban Dictionary: Congratsturbating."

Congratsturbating

Creating a problem that affects millions of people, then praising oneself for fixing the small part of the problem that affects you and then masturbating.

Coined by Jon Stewart
'Did you hear Susan Collins saying how proud she was that Congress passed a bill to speed up air travel?'

'Yeah that bitch is just congratsturbating.'
Congratsturbating by Umbeeee April 29, 2013
Word of the Day on May 5, 2013
It is said of the situation where a person has the bad luck to make contact with his testicles against an undefined surface or object, intentioned or not.
Given the nature of the word, it is more appropriate to design cases where the interaction is made with a moving object, for example, a ball.
Although it is extremely painful for the victim, it tends to be considerably funny to people who witness it.
Today in the baseball game the pitcher took a nutshot; the baseball hit him in the nuts.

Man, I just watched the funniest nutshot video ever.
Nutshot by Uberflaven March 1, 2009
Word of the Day on June 26, 2026

Nerd neck 

A "human" that spends so much time playing video games that their posture is level nerd neck. Everytime anyone goes tryhard they hunch down and their neck gets longer there fore a nerd neck is always hunched down cause they're always going try hard. In other words a nerd neck is a try hard, since their neck is 100% longer than the average human being due to playing too many video games and taking them serious, nerd necks are not even considered human anymore but something more sad. Nerd necks are often found on fortnite, their natural habitat usually being tilted towers.
What a fucking nerd neck!

He is building so fast, nerd neck!

Looser more like a nerd neck ha!
Nerd neck by D Sandwich Maker February 5, 2019
Word of the Day on June 25, 2026