Dane Cook 

The Gallagher of our generation. Dane Cook is a "comedian" that everyone seems to love despite his extreme mediocrity. His amazing lack of jokes combined with his ability to run around the stage like a five-year-old without his meds appeals to anyone without a soul or any knowledge of comedy. His trite and obvious observations contain no punchlines and often appeal to people with short attention spans.

You ever go into the bathroom and everything is WET? The floor is wet! The counters are wet! Everything's wet!

-Dane Cook

Uh... could it be because people piss on the floor and wash their hands aggressively?

-Andy Kindler

Dane Cook by Illusion December 14, 2008

Dane Cook 

poop

I just took a massive Dane Cook

Dane Cook by Miked? January 23, 2009

Dane Cook 

I accidentally saw this person on TV. He was telling how he used to be ugly but now is handsome with women falling all over him. He also told other "jokes."

Since I have not seen him on TV in many months, I suddenly missed his brand of absolutely no talent. Today I decided to write a short poem about the "comedian" known as Dane Cook.

I once saw Dane Cook on TV
Irritating the heck out of me
I watched in a trance
As he made faces and pranced
And asked myself, "What morons are paying good money to watch this crap?"

The end

Dane Cook by Norman R Fern November 5, 2012

Dane Cook 

An overrated actor/comedian who isn't the least bit funny and is known for stealing his jokes from Louis CK. all he ever does is swear a lot and tell all these uninteresting and unfunny stories about his pathetic life, expecting people to laugh. Plus he's a singer, but a very, very bad one.

Dane Cook: Why do they call bananas bananas? Shouldn't they be called FUNanas because theyre fun and they're full of deliciousness? Isn't that like the point of eating a banana? Well that's why I eat a banana now STEP OFF!

Retarded audience: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! That Dane Cook.....

Dane Cook by Truelove February 26, 2008

Dane Cook 

A douchebag.

Frat boy: Dane Cook is AWWWEESOME! Let's have some coors bro!

Dane Cook by darkreign October 19, 2008

Dane Cook 

a celebrity, mostly despised, with a mostly juvenile fan base and doomed to have his fame move down an endless slide into irrelevance as he grows older.

Also, a celebrity who's fame will quickly die after his prime and thus become a sad, punch-line version of himself.

Dude, I saw Andrew Dice Clay last night. It was so sad. He's almost as bad now as Dane Cook.

Dane Cook by sketto July 29, 2012

dane cook 

A chuckle-at-best of a comedian who will disappear as quick as he came. 20 years from now, he'll be as memorable as Yakov Shmirnoff or Paula Poundstone. You may have already forgotten about him and his stolen, tired act by the time your done reading this.

guy: what the hell is wrong with your hand?
dude: it's the sufi. You know.... Dane Cook.
guy: Who?...oh right that guy. (pause) I hate that I know you.

dane cook by 90% Airzooka August 23, 2007