Five-dollar Footlong

An "offer" introduced in the preceding months by those fools at Subway, a US submarine sanswich franchise.To be quite honest, this is one of the most insipid names for a deal that any marketing department has ever created. I'm sorry, but what the fucking hell is this shit? A five-dollar footlong? Are you motherfucking kiding me? Any fifth-grader can realize that "five-dollar footlong" sounds like an offer to take a pecker for five dollars. What the hell is this shit? A five-dollar footlong? Are you going to ask me if I want some mayonaise on that shit? Old bitch-ass motherfuckers. This is just destined to create misunderstanding, as follows:

Anonymous Agent #1: Hey man, I'm hungry as a motherfucker. You wanna get something to eat?
Anonymous Agent #2: You could go to Subway and get a five-dollar footlong.
Anonymous Agent #1: What are you saying about me, son? You saying I like dick?
Anonymous Agent #2: (Confused) What? Nah, man, I'm just saying that Subway has a 12" sandwich for only $5.
Anonymous Agent #1: Fuck you, man. I don't take no shit. (pulls a nine)
Anonymous Agent #2: What the fuck, man?! Why you pullin' the gat?
Anonymous Agent #1: And this is for that "double-whopper" jive you were pulling of me last week, you punk bitch. (Shoots Anonymous Agent #2)
Anonymous Agent #2: (Crying) What the fuck, man? I was just trying to help, son...
Anonymous Agent #1: That's right, cry like the little bitch that you are...
Anonymous Agent #2: WHY SUBWAY?! WHY...?!

Conclusion: Subway ruins lives.

Thank you for your time.

by MuigiKalash January 29, 2009

Five dollar footlong

subway's limited offer of a five dollar footlong!

im going to subway to get a five dollar footlong

by Josh Simpson of Illinois April 17, 2008

five dollar footlong

the kind of deals man whores make

You: I got a five dollar footlong last night
Me: *gasp* you naughty girl/ boy

by RACHELLLLLLLLLL August 4, 2008

Five Dollar Footlong

1) Subway's deal, getting a footlong sandwich for $5
2) Its in my pants. Nuff Said.

LAUREN CONRAD: OMG this Five Dollar Footlong is so delicious and juicy
AUDRINA PARTRIGE: And big enough for us to share!

by Rowdy_801 February 28, 2009

Five-Dollar Footlong

Slang for the dump you have to take after eating at Subway.

Jareds in the bathroom, we ate at subway and he as to deposit a five-dollar footlong

by Froggler August 2, 2010

Five-Dollar Footlong

Five-Dolar Footlongs are tasty and inexpensive sandwiches available only at Subway! And the jingle is often parodied.

Five-Dollar, Five-Dollar, Five-Dollar Footlongs, at Subway!

by YouAreOnTheTrumanShow May 1, 2008

Five dollar footlong line

The wanting to snort a powdered sub sammich off of a man's genitals.

"Man, I did a five dollar footlong line off of Doug last night. It was intense."

by Rathboneee February 12, 2012