Squirting 1-2 spritzes of lube (any flavour or un flavoured) into a zip locsandwich baggie and using it to jerk off with, simply close the bag and discard it in the trash can when you are finished.
Super horny after seeing your sister mop the floor, do you mind if I go to the shitter and perform Spinter’s third law on myself
A veiny train that pushes the brown express back into the tunnel.
-"Lord Archer, would you kindly turn round so I can clean your drains?"
-"Ok governor, but hurry it up you shit shunter, I have to write two novels by tea time."