Crunchatize 

When a food item is prepared way too crunchy, toasted, or in any way too jagged for your mouth to handle. The result of eating anything crunchatized is akin to chewing bubble gum, if that bubble gum was made of razor blades and despair. The flurry of micro-lacerations are just bearable enough to foolishly finish the meal, but not enough to avoid regret and anguish for the rest of the day. Your mouth WILL sting, ache, and spite you for the rest of the day.

Avoid crunchatized edibles at all costs.

Cap'n: "Would you like your sandwich toasted?"
Me: "Just a little bit, don't crunchatize that shit! Not again... Never again..."

Crunchatize by D-Hern February 20, 2012

Crunchatize me cap'n! 

when a girl says this aboard a ship, you, as the captain of the ship must gather every seamen aboard and have them stand around her in a circle and simultaneously nut on her causing her skin to eventually be crunchy from all the cum

hot girl: "crunchatize me cap'n!"
captain: "iv'e been waiting my whole life for this moment"

Crunchatize me cap'n! by happycaptain September 18, 2020

Crunchatize Me Captain

The phrase for requesting that an uncircumcised man peels back his hood and slaps you in the face with his smagma covered wiener.

"Derek, crunchatize me captain!"

"Last night I got crunchatized by the captain!"

Crunchatize Me Captain by Evana, J-dawg, Casper, Grimmer September 30, 2011

Crunchatize Me Captain

It's when you have anal intercourse, but while your giving the girl the business, Captain Crunch cereal is in her vagina.

Oh my God, Danny gave me the Crunchatize Me Captain last night for the first time, and I came blood.

Crunchatize Me Captain by Smhole Shmartin November 13, 2020

crunchitize

A word used in Cap'n Crunch commercials that attest to the cereal's ability to stay crunchy in milk. The noble cap'n always manages to solve daily predicaments faced by children with the power of his crunchitization, taking the children to a world full of glorious artificial flavoring. It has nothing to do with anal sex.

Two children at a restaurant avoided a disgusting meal of es cargo (SNAILS!) when Cap'n Crunch flew his ship through the wall of the restaurant, much to the astonishment of the French waiter, and the boy and girl are elated when the cap'n crunchitizes them so they can enjoy a $1.99 box of cereal instead of a sophisticated meal at a restaurant that their parents worked hard to earn.

crunchitize by NotDave January 28, 2008

crunchtime

the point at which you realize that an exam worth 50% of your grade is scheduled for tomorrow at 8:30 am and you'd better get your ass in gear and study all fucking night.

It's crunchtime man, I can't go out tonight.

crunchtime by Karla A November 9, 2007

crunkatized

1. When a person, object, etc., is supernatrual in flavor, style, ambieance.

2. The act of getting EXTRA Crunk at a social event, or area and not give a 'Fu..'.

1. GOTdam fooo, the rims on that Cadi are CRUNKATIZED.

2. Dawg, last night I was at Boo Boo's crib and got CRUNKATIZED.

crunkatized by James McLendon August 12, 2006