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Big Ed Moustapha

Big Ed Moustapha is the benchmark for greatness. See story:
Poody R. Glucks thought his ship had finally come in. He’d been chosen as a contestant on Let’s Make A Deal and was also fortunate enough to be selected as the finalist to select winnings from behind one of three curtains. His choice was curtain number two. To his delight, winnings behind curtain number one turned out to be a set of used tires and an empty beer bottle. The audience gasped as the contents of curtain number two were revealed. Poody couldn’t believe his luck! His prizes included 100 billion dollars cash, a 200 ft. yacht anchored off the French Riviera behind his new 20 million dollar villa. Not to be ignored were a new 2009 Ferrari F70, 3 mansions in Beverly Hills, New Hampton, and West Palm Beach, his own personal Leer Jet, free passes to the finest restaurants in the world, free lifetime wardrobes from the finest tailor’s money can buy, to name but few of his new possessions, all tax free. Poody’s greatest feelings of elation were about to change drastically however with the unveiling of the prize behind curtain number three.
For waiting behind door number three was probably the greatest gift ever available to mankind. That prize, was being granted the privilege of being allowed to smell the butt of The Big Ed Moustapha for an entire two minutes!!! You could hear the audience moan for miles! Poody’s heart sank. His feelings of sorrow and despair soon changed to anger and desperation. Eventually Poody had to be restrained and was forcibly removed from the studio. As he was being carried out, Poody was heard to be crying out: ‘I meant to say door number three!!’ ‘I meant to say door number three!!’.

molasses mustache 

A mustache that's dripping wet With feces and seamen like a dirty Sanchez but without the pubes
After a long night at the rest stop bob had a molasses mustache from all the rides he'd been giving
molasses mustache by blumpkin25 February 8, 2015

ketchup moustache

When a person performs oral sex on a girl who is on her period. Also called "catsup moustache" in some areas
"Hey your mom is cool. She gave me some cookies and a ketchup moustache."
"Yea... what?"

mustache dip my dream sickle 

A polite way for a female partner to ask for cunnilingus.
Hey Big Rod, do you want to mustache dip my dream sickle? It sure is tasty!

mustache cash stash 

Dude we should call our band mustache cash stash
mustache cash stash by Louiloui September 17, 2013

Mustache Fairy 

The Mustache Fairy leaves evidence of what the mustache bearer did the night before while drunk, within his or her mustache.
Mustached man: "I have no idea what I did last night, but apparently I drank a lot of beer."

Concerned friend: "I think you banged a chicken; the Mustache Fairy left a feather in your mustache."

Mustached man: "Yeah, and it stinks like beer and hot wings."
Mustache Fairy by iBetty February 4, 2012