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9 definitions by tedwilli9

 
1.
Another way of saying "the runs" or diarrhea.
Phil: Hey Pete, how was McDonald's?
Pete: It was okay, except for pot of doody stew I made afterwards.
Phil: Ew.
by tedwilli9 July 27, 2008
 
2.
A women whom you thought was attractive, and frequently made knuckle babies to, until you realized she was indeed a lesbian - and the attraction wears off.
Tevin: Hey bro, so...did you fire off some man torpedos to Gina last night?

Bro: Naw Tevin, turned out she was a real Jodie Foster...my life is ruined.

Tevin: Probably.
by tedwilli9 July 27, 2008
 
3.
A veiny hemmorhoid that has swelled to infection, and looks like a hanging grape on a deciduous and woody vine.
Frank: Hey Steve, we saved you a seat, sit down.

Steve: I would Frank, but I'm afraid I'd bust my Butt Grape.
by tedwilli9 August 02, 2008
 
4.
A sexual act in which you poo on your girlfriend's face, and rub it in with you penis until she resembles a Black Face actor. Then you shoot at point blank range a dick rocket into her left eye, making her squint - and then you put a gun to her head and yell, "Say you're Forrest Whitaker! And it better sound exactly like him or so help me God I'll fucking blow your doody stained head right off!!!"
Frank: How did everything go with Angela last night?

Dan: It was going pretty awful until I gave her The Forrest Whitaker.

Frank: Oh man, Score! Was it spot on?

Dave: No, and that's why I had to kill her.

Frank: Well, there's always tomorrow. Cheer up.
by tedwilli9 August 25, 2008
 
5.
The odds that a Mexican will ever be president of the United States. Not to be confused with Juan to Juan: the odds that if a Mexican is elected president, he will be named Juan.
Pedro: Hooray! Did you hear the news?
Hector: Si, Juan Alvarez is the new President Elect!
Pedro: Si, it was a-million-to-Juan shot!
Hector: Si!
by tedwilli9 December 07, 2008
 
6.
Like the Black Market, only all the illegal items you will ever need come from your fellow inmate's asshole. Hence, brown.
Guard Falzone: Listen, just tell us where you got the melon baller.

Prisoner: (sigh) Jerry's asshole.

Guard Falzone: You mean...?

Prisoner: Yup, The Brown Market.
by tedwilli9 August 24, 2008
 
7.
Capitalizing on unique shopping prospects, which goes hand in hand with finding premium parking (if there's no valet services) for optimum effect.
Mr. Jenkins: It says here on your resume that you're quite shopportunistic? I don't understand.

David: Just the other day I bought seasons 2 and 3 of Walker: Texas Ranger and because of my bangin' parking spot I avoided the horrendous downpour, which also meant I didn't have to change when I got home so I could watch my DVDs right away.

Mr. Jenkins: Hmm, we'd really rather have someone with with more skills in quantum mechanics...but that was pretty shopportunistic. You're hired.
by tedwilli9 December 15, 2008