sambarnes's definitions

melolatry

An overzealous customer loyalty to Apple or their products such as the iMac, iPhone, or iPod. from greek melon (apple) and latria (worship) analogous to idolatry. One who engages in melolatry is called a melolator, or iJerk if they are particularly vocal about their distaste for Windows and its users. Not everyone who preferres mac over windows is a melolator, however.

With Apple's slick marketing campaigns and stylish hardware, it's easy to fall into melolatry if you're not careful.

by sambarnes January 2, 2010

repooperation

The process of recovering from a colonoscopy.

My dad came home from his colonoscopy, and now he's in repooperation

by sambarnes February 29, 2008

ecclesiastical spanking

Noun. A public rebuke by the Pope or a bishop of a disobedient churchman or group, sometimes, but not always involving an excommunication. The act is primarily medicinal, in that it seeks to bring about the return of the errant party to orthodoxy, rather than simply to shun them.

The pope's public rebuke of the illicit and schismatic consecrations constituted an ecclesiastical spanking.

The bishop issued an ecclesiastical spanking by condemning the heterodox ideology espoused by the members of the parish.

by sambarnes January 11, 2009

Louis Braille

He blinded himself at the age of 3 by stabbing his eye out with an awl. He invented what we now know as braille for both writing and musical notation when he was fifteen. He was a talented church organist, and became a professor at the paris school for the blind. Two years after his death the braille code was adopted by France for teaching the blind. Braille was the first system that allowed blind people to read quickly and easily, and the first system ever to allow blind people to write. In the 50s his body was moved to the pantheon alongside other heroes of France. The United States treasury has issued a commemorative coin honoring him, and he has schools, and even an asteroid named after him.

What's the moral of the story? Contrary to what your mom always told you, playing with sharp metal objects isn't just good fun, it may just make you famous!

Louis Braille was blind.

by sambarnes April 2, 2009

minipope

The leader of an autonomous Eastern Catholic church, usually a patriarch such as the Maronite patriarch of Antioch. Some churches are led by a major archbishop. Minipopes have a large degree of freedom to safeguard the traditions and theological emphases of their particular church, but they still recognize the authority of the bishop of Rome, who is the patriarch of the Latin church. Many minipopes, like the churches they head, have a counterpart in the Eastern Orthodox or Oriental Orthodox communions. A notable exception is the Maronite Patriarch, who, along with the whole Maronite church, never split with Rome. Some churches, like the Russian Catholic church, do not have a minipope, or even a hierarchy.

The Maronite minipope wrote an apostolic letter to the church.

by sambarnes February 29, 2008

crotch

(verb) to grip or hold something with the inner thighs while sitting in order to leave one's hands free. This is almost always done in a vehicle with a fast food item, such as a beverage or carton of fries.

We're out of cup holders; looks like I'll have to crotch my root beer.

by sambarnes February 16, 2008

secret sauce

A homogeneous mixture of two or more condiments found in the fridge. Any number of condiments may be used, such as ketchup, mustard, BBQ sauce, or soy sauce. Salad dressing may be added as well. Secret sauce is not at all secret, it's just never the same thing twice. It is usually made as a dipping sauce for fruggets.

I was bored with the individual condiments, so I mixed them all together in a big bowl of secret sauce.

by sambarnes February 28, 2008