sambarnes's definitions

crackistan

a neighborhood or area where drug dealers and their customers congregate. Typically this is located in the inner city.

be careful. The bus station you are getting off at is in the middle of crackistan.

by sambarnes March 2, 2008

microcynophilia

A devastating psychological disease in which the sufferer mistakes the likes of chihuahuas and dachshunds for actual dogs. In severe cases, the sufferer may even prefer the company of such animals. Female microcyniphiles may even carry them around in their purses.

If a person prefers dogs whose life expectancy is higher than their weight, than he or she may be suffering from microcynophilia.

The best treatment for micrcynophilia is a nice large dog, such as a golden retriever, great Dane, or St. Bernard.

I broke up with my girlfriend after I saw her carrying a teacup chihuahua in her purse; she never told me she had microcynophilia.

by sambarnes February 28, 2008

braillien

Someone who uses braille as their primary literacy medium.

A braillien can read in the dark.

by sambarnes April 21, 2008

ecclesiastical spanking

Noun. A public rebuke by the Pope or a bishop of a disobedient churchman or group, sometimes, but not always involving an excommunication. The act is primarily medicinal, in that it seeks to bring about the return of the errant party to orthodoxy, rather than simply to shun them.

The pope's public rebuke of the illicit and schismatic consecrations constituted an ecclesiastical spanking.

The bishop issued an ecclesiastical spanking by condemning the heterodox ideology espoused by the members of the parish.

by sambarnes January 11, 2009

cynophile

(noun) a dog fancier. Cynophiles often participate in dog shows and dog sports. They may prefer owning purebred dogs who have a pedigree, rather than adopting mongrels from shelters, but this is by no means always true. They may be annoyingly obsessive about their dogs, spending exorbitant amounts of money on them, or may simply consider dogs ideal companions.

My friend is a real cynophile; he takes his dog to compete in conformation shows, the kind they show on Animal Planet.

by sambarnes February 28, 2008

Louis Braille

He blinded himself at the age of 3 by stabbing his eye out with an awl. He invented what we now know as braille for both writing and musical notation when he was fifteen. He was a talented church organist, and became a professor at the paris school for the blind. Two years after his death the braille code was adopted by France for teaching the blind. Braille was the first system that allowed blind people to read quickly and easily, and the first system ever to allow blind people to write. In the 50s his body was moved to the pantheon alongside other heroes of France. The United States treasury has issued a commemorative coin honoring him, and he has schools, and even an asteroid named after him.

What's the moral of the story? Contrary to what your mom always told you, playing with sharp metal objects isn't just good fun, it may just make you famous!

Louis Braille was blind.

by sambarnes April 2, 2009

Judas shuffle

(Catholicism) The act of leaving Mass early, typically between receiving communion and the concluding rite, without a justifiable reason for doing so. The Judas shuffle is named after Judas Iscariot, who left the Last Supper (the first Mass/Divine Liturgy) early in order to summon the guards to arrest Jesus.

My brother did the Judas shuffle because he wanted to watch the football game.

by sambarnes February 28, 2008