22 definitions by sambarnes

full name: the western branch of American reform Presbylutheranism. The protestant denomination which the Simpsons as well as most other Springfieldianites belong to. The term is employed by Catholics to poke fun at the tendency of protestant denominations to multiply exponentially, and to highlight these denominations' homogeneity compared to the ancient tradition of the Apostolic Churches both Western and Eastern.

He blinded himself at the age of 3 by stabbing his eye out with an awl. He invented what we now know as braille for both writing and musical notation when he was fifteen. He was a talented church organist, and became a professor at the paris school for the blind. Two years after his death the braille code was adopted by France for teaching the blind. Braille was the first system that allowed blind people to read quickly and easily, and the first system ever to allow blind people to write. In the 50s his body was moved to the pantheon alongside other heroes of France. The United States treasury has issued a commemorative coin honoring him, and he has schools, and even an asteroid named after him.

What's the moral of the story? Contrary to what your mom always told you, playing with sharp metal objects isn't just good fun, it may just make you famous!

A meal consisting of French fries and chicken nuggets: a staple of young people who don't like to cook, but know how to use an oven. Fruggets are often served with secret sauce on the side for dipping.

Noun. A public rebuke by the Pope or a bishop of a disobedient churchman or group, sometimes, but not always involving an excommunication. The act is primarily medicinal, in that it seeks to bring about the return of the errant party to orthodoxy, rather than simply to shun them.

An overzealous customer loyalty to Apple or their products such as the iMac, iPhone, or iPod. from greek melon (apple) and latria (worship) analogous to idolatry. One who engages in melolatry is called a melolator, or iJerk if they are particularly vocal about their distaste for Windows and its users. Not everyone who preferres mac over windows is a melolator, however.

A somewhat derogatory name for someone who can see well, used by blind people. This term implies that the person so named takes his vision, and the activities that it enables him to do, for granted.

A sightling thinks nothing of hopping in his car on a Saturday morning and taking a quick trip to the grocery store to buy some milk. The same task, for a blind person, takes at least a day of advanced planning, and possibly involves a long bus ride, hours of waiting, or a large cab fair.

A sightling thinks nothing of jogging across the middle of a street during a lull in traffic to get to the Wallgreens on the other side. A blind person must wait at the intersection, listening for a favorable traffic flow pattern for him to cross. This waiting and listening may take as long as an hour at a single corner, and may involve several light cycles before paralell traffic is heavy enough to ensure the person safe passage.

A sightling can drive less than two minutes to a salon or barber shop for a haircut. A blind person, assuming they know the location of a salon or barber shop, must hike the three miles to get their.

A sightling can drive his car to pick up a bag of dog food for his lazy, overfed, understimulated dog. A blind person must walk a mile to the pet store, and pick up a 10 kg bag of dog food, and carry it back to his house for his hard working dog guide, which he couldn't take along to the pet store because he couldn't carry the food in one hand and handle the dog in the other.

A devastating psychological disease in which the sufferer mistakes the likes of chihuahuas and dachshunds for actual dogs. In severe cases, the sufferer may even prefer the company of such animals. Female microcyniphiles may even carry them around in their purses.

If a person prefers dogs whose life expectancy is higher than their weight, than he or she may be suffering from microcynophilia.

The best treatment for micrcynophilia is a nice large dog, such as a golden retriever, great Dane, or St. Bernard.