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12 definitions by mockschmock

 
1.
Passed away. Expired. Vacated this worldly plain. Snuffed it.
Also Throw a seven
Mrs Tiggywinkle? It's PC Bobs, here. I'm afraid I have some upsetting news. Your husband was crossing the M4 and, well I'm afraid he bought the farm. Squashed flatter than a witch's tit. He was.
We scraped Him up as best we could. He's in this bucket. I shouldn't look if I were you.
by mockschmock December 12, 2006
 
2.
Indication of being very hungry indeed.
'I'm so hungry, I could eat a nun's arse through a convent gate.'
by mockschmock December 07, 2006
 
3.
Expression of surprise, quite long but effective at getting all the surprisedness out in one breath. For 'ragman' think Steptoe/Sanford & Son. Aha.
'Well fuck me with a ragman's trumpet. There IS a Santa.'
by mockschmock December 07, 2006
 
4.
Rhyming expression for use when you really didn't know something, and were maybe even the last person on earth to find out. Goes to show you really do learn something new every day.
'You mean you can't get pregnant by sharing a facecloth? Fuck my hat, I didn't know that!'
by mockschmock December 07, 2006
 
5.
Expletive to be used when a simple "Shit!" just won't cut the mustard.
Oh buggering arseholes, I've sent the porn subscription to Aunt Mabel and the get well soon card to Paul Raymond Publishing.
by mockschmock December 12, 2006
 
6.
Came to an untimely end. Booked a last minute ticket across the River Styx. Jumped the queue at the pearly gates.
Snodgrass was only 37 when, on the golf course, he threw a seven. It nearly put me off my putt.
by mockschmock December 12, 2006
 
7.
Pronounced "SIFT". Acronym for Shut Your Fucking Trap.
Monica - "Hey Chandler, have you picked up your dirty underpants off the kitchen floor yet, you rancid fart?"
Chandler - "Syft, Whore."

Excerpt from "The One Where Chandler And Monica Have A Row But Make Up By The End"
by mockschmock December 13, 2006