mockschmock's definitions

buggering arseholes

Expletive to be used when a simple "Shit!" just won't cut the mustard.

Oh buggering arseholes, I've sent the porn subscription to Aunt Mabel and the get well soon card to Paul Raymond Publishing.

by mockschmock December 14, 2006

Bought The Farm

Passed away. Expired. Vacated this worldly plain. Snuffed it.
Also Throw a seven

Mrs Tiggywinkle? It's PC Bobs, here. I'm afraid I have some upsetting news. Your husband was crossing the M4 and, well I'm afraid he bought the farm. Squashed flatter than a witch's tit. He was.
We scraped Him up as best we could. He's in this bucket. I shouldn't look if I were you.

by mockschmock December 14, 2006

threw a seven

Came to an untimely end. Booked a last minute ticket across the River Styx. Jumped the queue at the pearly gates.

Snodgrass was only 37 when, on the golf course, he threw a seven. It nearly put me off my putt.

by mockschmock December 15, 2006

jehovah's twitness

a door darkener who wants to spread the dubious good news about Jehovah, but doesn't have enough mental processing power to sustain an argument about it.

I just had a jehovah's twitness at the door - he was thick as pig shit and twice as smelly so I slammed the door on him.

by mockschmock December 15, 2006

syft

Pronounced "SIFT". Acronym for Shut Your Fucking Trap.

Monica - "Hey Chandler, have you picked up your dirty underpants off the kitchen floor yet, you rancid fart?"
Chandler - "Syft, Whore."

Excerpt from "The One Where Chandler And Monica Have A Row But Make Up By The End"

by mockschmock December 16, 2006

Looks like [his] face caught fire and someone put it out with a shovel

Description of an ugly person.

He looks like his face caught fire and someone put it out with a shovel! I fell off my bike. Twice.

by mockschmock December 8, 2006

galloping gut rot

Violent, unpredictable and rather unpleasant bout of "Delhi Belly".
Sudden, malodorous and disconcerting onset of liquifaction of one's latest meal.

"We'd best leave now, sir, you have a bad case of galloping gut rot."
"I know, but let me just sign this treaty, first."
(PM Tony Blair to President Bush, Circa 2004)

by mockschmock December 9, 2006