slack fanny

In Devon (West of England), an idle, slow and incompetent person who is no use to man nor beast. Just like a slack fanny (whether British or American), someone who does a poor job of whatever they are meant to be doing.

'That Pete's such a slack fanny. Three bloody years I've been waiting for him to look at my roof.'

by mockschmock December 09, 2006

i could eat a nun's arse through a convent gate

Indication of being very hungry indeed.

'I'm so hungry, I could eat a nun's arse through a convent gate.'

by mockschmock December 09, 2006

jehovah's twitness

a door darkener who wants to spread the dubious good news about Jehovah, but doesn't have enough mental processing power to sustain an argument about it.

I just had a jehovah's twitness at the door - he was thick as pig shit and twice as smelly so I slammed the door on him.

by mockschmock December 15, 2006

Looks like [his] face caught fire and someone put it out with a shovel

Description of an ugly person.

He looks like his face caught fire and someone put it out with a shovel! I fell off my bike. Twice.

by mockschmock December 08, 2006

baker's dozen

The exhausting phenomenon of having thirteen loose bowel evacuations in one 24 hour period. Especially while on holiday in Mexico or in Majorca on your 30th birthday with seven of your mates.

'I really thought Paul was going to make a baker's dozen but he bust and had his 14th at five to midnight. That's 20 euros wasted then.'

by mockschmock December 09, 2006