12 definitions by mockschmock

fuck my hat, I didn't know that

Rhyming expression for use when you really didn't know something, and were maybe even the last person on earth to find out. Goes to show you really do learn something new every day.

'You mean you can't get pregnant by sharing a facecloth? Fuck my hat, I didn't know that!'

by mockschmock December 8, 2006

threw a seven

Came to an untimely end. Booked a last minute ticket across the River Styx. Jumped the queue at the pearly gates.

Snodgrass was only 37 when, on the golf course, he threw a seven. It nearly put me off my putt.

by mockschmock December 12, 2006

baker's dozen

The exhausting phenomenon of having thirteen loose bowel evacuations in one 24 hour period. Especially while on holiday in Mexico or in Majorca on your 30th birthday with seven of your mates.

'I really thought Paul was going to make a baker's dozen but he bust and had his 14th at five to midnight. That's 20 euros wasted then.'

by mockschmock December 7, 2006

jehovah's twitness

a door darkener who wants to spread the dubious good news about Jehovah, but doesn't have enough mental processing power to sustain an argument about it.

I just had a jehovah's twitness at the door - he was thick as pig shit and twice as smelly so I slammed the door on him.

by mockschmock December 12, 2006

Looks like [his] face caught fire and someone put it out with a shovel

Description of an ugly person.

He looks like his face caught fire and someone put it out with a shovel! I fell off my bike. Twice.

by mockschmock December 7, 2006