Definitions by mockschmock

Fuck me with a ragman's trumpet 

Expression of surprise, quite long but effective at getting all the surprisedness out in one breath. For 'ragman' think Steptoe/Sanford & Son. Aha.

'Well fuck me with a ragman's trumpet. There IS a Santa.'

Fuck me with a ragman's trumpet by mockschmock December 9, 2006

fuck my hat, I didn't know that 

Rhyming expression for use when you really didn't know something, and were maybe even the last person on earth to find out. Goes to show you really do learn something new every day.

'You mean you can't get pregnant by sharing a facecloth? Fuck my hat, I didn't know that!'

fuck my hat, I didn't know that by mockschmock December 9, 2006

slack fanny 

In Devon (West of England), an idle, slow and incompetent person who is no use to man nor beast. Just like a slack fanny (whether British or American), someone who does a poor job of whatever they are meant to be doing.

'That Pete's such a slack fanny. Three bloody years I've been waiting for him to look at my roof.'

slack fanny by mockschmock December 9, 2006

i could eat a nun's arse through a convent gate 

Indication of being very hungry indeed.

'I'm so hungry, I could eat a nun's arse through a convent gate.'

i could eat a nun's arse through a convent gate by mockschmock December 9, 2006

Looks like [his] face caught fire and someone put it out with a shovel 

Description of an ugly person.

He looks like his face caught fire and someone put it out with a shovel! I fell off my bike. Twice.

Looks like [his] face caught fire and someone put it out with a shovel by mockschmock December 8, 2006