masochistmonkeyjoe's definitions

shitpants excited

this is a level of excitation that results in folks shitting their pants.

it is generally a hyperbole/exaggeration in that one does not ACTUALLY shit in their pants.

Bobby was shitpants excited over his date with his hot slutty cousin that night.

Tina always gets shitpants excited when she hears about a new family guy episode on TV.

by masochistmonkeyjoe March 19, 2010

Cumbrella

Someone who lets everyone else cum on them. (not necessarily at one time. that would be bukkake )

Your mom is the cumbrella of Eastern Idaho.

Your dad is the cumbrella of Walla Walla, Washington.

Your sister is the cumbrella of the Martin Van Buren High School varsity football team.

by masochistmonkeyjoe March 18, 2007

stompfuck

this is a violent sex act in which a dildo or other phallic object is attached to the bottom of a shoe or boot and "stomped" into the waiting hole of the "stompfuckee".

Dawn hadn't been stompfucked in a long time, so Tina helped her get her dildo harnessed to the bottom of her boot so it wouldn't come off during their sexual act.

by masochistmonkeyjoe February 18, 2009

Nightshades

n: sunglasses; esp. when worn at night and/or by a goth person.

Aren't Lady Skulltits' nightshades frightfully divine?

I wear my nightshades at night so I can so I can...

by masochistmonkeyjoe June 15, 2011

screwnicornhole

v. to strap a dildo to your head (like the horn of a unicorn) and to screw someone IN THE ASS (the cornhole)

Jim screwnicornholed Patsy up against the front door until she was screaming like a banshee.

After screwnicornholing Michael, Dawn had to wash the fudge and corn off of her headgear.

by masochistmonkeyjoe July 12, 2007

garglejob

this is a type of oral sex in which the performer keeps the penis in their throat during orgasm and gargles the semen around the end of the penis

Well, Mr. McDonald, if you want a garglejob you'll have to pay extra. I usually have to drink a whole 6 pack to clean all of the ejaculatory fluid out of my throat.

by masochistmonkeyjoe February 18, 2009

HOTWETSEX

n: an exclamation equivalent to "awesome", "sweet" or "ace".

Dude 1: I just got 2 tickets to see The Plural Nouns this weekend!

Dude 2: HOTWETSEX!

by masochistmonkeyjoe June 10, 2011