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loxi's definitions

hunting widow

A state of complete physical and emotional abandonment caused by the husband's preference to hunt animals in the wild for days on end instead of spending quality time with his wife at home.
Wife 1: So, your hubby's away on yet another hunting trip, is he?

Wife 2: (Angrily) Don't remind me. I swear, if I wasn't already a hunting widow, I would kill him myself!
by Loxi July 18, 2009
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afrabnormality

Refers to an African American participating in an activity outside of his normal environment (or what "society" feels is his normal environment).

Examples include:

1. Michael Steele, Republican Party Chair

2. Willy T. Ribbs or Bill Lester, NASCAR drivers

3. Willie O'Ree, NHL player

4. Andre Horton or Suki Horton, Alpine skiers
Girl #1: Did you see Michael Steele on the Today show yesterday spouting his Republican drivel?

Sister #2: Nah. I try to keep afrabnormality like that at a distance.
by Loxi July 18, 2009
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catapulpit

Refers to a member of the Catholic faith who breaks one or more of the ten commandments in record time (either before or after leaving the Catholic Church).

Examples include:

1. Madonna, entertainer

2. Alberto Cutie, aka "Father Oprah", former priest

3. Kenneth Bianchi, aka "The Hillside Strangler", convicted murderer
Guy 1: Man, did you see on television that Father Oprah scored him a babe?

Guy 2: Yeah! You got to admire him for catapulpitting himself toward such a hot piece of ass!
by Loxi July 18, 2009
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starving kids in Africa

Phrase used by Catholic priests or nuns to guilt parochial students into eating vegetables that are good for them or donating money to yet another Catholic charity.
Example 1:

Sr. Mary: Eat your brussels sprouts, Susie.

Susie: But, I don't like them, sister. They're yucky!

Sr. Mary: I can't believe you are wasting food. Why, there are starving kids in Africa who would give anything to have those brussel sprouts. So, you eat them, you hear? They're part of God's bountiful harvest.

Susie: (Looking guilty) Yes, sister.

Example 2:

Sr. Mary: (To class) As part of our Lenten service project, I am asking that each of you donate your lunch money today to the Feed the Children organization. In return, you will receive one cracker and a bowl of watered-down chicken broth for lunch - just like the starving kids in Africa eat every day.

Susie: (Looking longingly at her lunch money) Yes, sister.
by Loxi July 18, 2009
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urban dictionary

An ingenious marketing ploy whereby the creators of the dictionary get written definitions from various authors via the web (which then becomes the intellectual property of the creators) who then bind them into a book entitled "Urban Dictionary" and hawk it to various publishing houses until one of them agrees to publish it and make them rich - while the various authors who contributed to the book remain poor.
The creators of the Urban Dictionary are geniuses!
by Loxi July 19, 2009
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southern slam

A deliberate insult said to a person's face by a Southerner who is thought to be giving high praise, but is in fact thoroughly insulting the person. The slam is said in a heavy Southern drawl so as to fool the person into thinking you are stupid.
Example 1:

Upon seeing a woman approach wearing a hideous dress:

Southern Slammer: "Where eva did you get that dress? I simply must know. It takes my breath away!

Loosely translated: "That is the fugliest dress I have ever seen. I want to know where you got it so I can avoid that store like the plague!"
by Loxi July 19, 2009
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marriage

A matrimonial state as defined by:

1) Females: "Marriage is the opportunity for two souls to be legally bound together so that they can share their innermost thoughts and feelings while creating the most perfect life together."

2) Males: "Wow, a chick to take care of me like my mother used to - but with the added bonus of sex!"
See marriage definition above.
by Loxi July 19, 2009
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