The sainted man who lives with one's mother-in-law. Generally is known for having great patience.
My father-in-law is a gift from God, but my mother-in-law is a minion of the Devil.
A citizen who listens intently to a police scanner all day and night so that he will know of all of the fires, murders, robberies, assaults, etc. that occur in his town. The PSP
then gleefully informs his friends the next day of the gory details.
The PSP differs from the local policeman, fireman, or EMT with a scanner in that he has a pervy
interest in listening to the scanner, not a professional interest.
Dispatcher on Scanner: We have a 10-59 on 25th and Maple; a house is burning, a trauma team and a fire control team are en route.
Police Scanner Perv: Ssh, honey. I am trying to hear the scanner. I think your mother's house may be on fire!
A deliberate insult said to a person's face by a Southerner who is thought to be giving high praise, but is in fact thoroughly insulting the person. The slam is said in a heavy Southern drawl so as to fool the person into thinking you are stupid.
Upon seeing a woman approach wearing a hideous dress:
Southern Slammer: "Where eva did you get that dress? I simply must know. It takes my breath away!
Loosely translated: "That is the fugliest dress I have ever seen. I want to know where you got it so I can avoid that store like the plague!"
Definition 1: A student who received corporal punishment at parochial school via a monster-sized paddle that was kept in the principals office.
Definition 2: Oral technique that parochial school cheerleaders used on every boy they came in contact with.
I know of many people who were Catholicked during my 12 years in parochial school.
A small town in southeast South Dakota whose claim to fame includes the following:
1. Home to Tom Brokaw, former anchor of the NBC Nightly News.
2. Football player Lyle Alzado attended Yankton College there.
3. Convicted murder of Wild Bill Hickok, Jack McCall, is buried there.
Employee: You live in Yankton?
Co-worker: (Smiling) Yep!
A naive female whose hymen
has yet to be broken by a male during the act of sex. The virgin species is nearly extinct, as horny male hunters have trapped and taken nearly every hymen in the vicinity. If you are fortunate enough to come across a virgin, sweet words or alcohol will anesthetize her prior to de-hymening.
Virgins are nearly extinct and should be placed on the endangered species list.
Refers to a male with unfulfilled dreams of sports stardom who then pressures his children into playing sports in the hope they achieve the stardom he failed to achieve.
The sports jockey is the male equivalent of the stage mom
Wife 1: (Sighing) My husband enrolled (insert child's name here) in softball, gymnastics, tennis, and track this year at school.
Wife 2: You poor thing. You married a sports jockey too?