loxi's definitions

virgin

A naive female whose hymen has yet to be broken by a male during the act of sex. The virgin species is nearly extinct, as horny male hunters have trapped and taken nearly every hymen in the vicinity. If you are fortunate enough to come across a virgin, sweet words or alcohol will anesthetize her prior to de-hymening.

Virgins are nearly extinct and should be placed on the endangered species list.

by Loxi July 19, 2009

catholicked

Definition 1: A student who received corporal punishment at parochial school via a monster-sized paddle that was kept in the principals office.

Definition 2: Oral technique that parochial school cheerleaders used on every boy they came in contact with.

I know of many people who were Catholicked during my 12 years in parochial school.

by Loxi July 19, 2009

biracial

Neither 100% of this race nor 100% of that race. Basically the cause of much confusion when filling out application forms that require one to check a single box about their racial makeup.

A biracial (or multiracial) check box should be added to every application form - because this is the real world and very few people are 100% of any particular race (unless they inbreed - yuck!)

by Loxi July 20, 2009

inheritance

Money and personal property that a hard-working person accumulates during his lifetime that pissant children thinks is their due upon his death.

Below are categories of heir behavior in regard to future inheritances:

1. Grave Watchers: Children who know they will inherit and are just waiting around for the person to die to claim the inheritance.

2. Ingratiating little bastards: Children who kiss the person's ass repeatedly in the hope he will leave his worldly belongings to them.

3. Presumptive brats: Children who assume they will inherit and who foolishly spend money they don't have today, only to find out later they didn't inherit and are now up to their eyeballs in debt.

Inheritances are a gift, not a birthright.

by Loxi July 20, 2009

teenager

An emotionally under-developed, materialistic, thinks-he-knows-it-all child between the ages of 12-20 who pushes his parents' sanity to the limit.

I used to think that God would not send one more than he could handle - and then I met a teenager.

by Loxi July 20, 2009

baby boomer

An elderly person who should not be allowed to purchase an electronic device without first consulting with a ten-year-old regarding its proper use and maintenance.

I watched in horror as my baby boomer boss pounded on the keyboard in an attempt to "figure out the e-mail."

by Loxi July 20, 2009