The amount of control possessed by each person in a romantic relationship. Short for 'the upper hand', it is a lighthearted way of describing the shift of control in a relationship, based on the assumption that one person tends to have the upper hand over the other.
Coined in Seinfeld episode "The Pez Dispenser"
George: No everything is *not* going good. I'm very uncomfortable. I have no power. I mean, why should she have the upper hand. *Once* in my life I would like the upper hand. I have no hand-- no hand at all. She has the hand; I have *no* hand...
How do I get the hand?
Jerry: We all want the hand. Hand is tough to get. You gotta get the hand right from the opening.