earpuller's definitions

neighbores

simply put, boring neighbors. people who think you really care about their lives when, in fact, you wish you could move somewhere far, far away just to get away from them.

lady next door:.....then she said.....just back from visiting my sister in Peoria.....couldn't find a thing in there.....new recipes for hamburger helper.....never buy a german car, my father always said.....(two hours later).....well, i can't stand here talking all day.....(another hour later).....wait, don't you want to see my niece's picture?
me: maybe some other time. i've got to go in now (escaping to the safety of my own apartment, i close and lock the door, and start looking through the rental ads-do they list apartments under "no neighbores allowed?)

by earpuller June 11, 2006

Palintology

the study of all the various Palins from Alaska (also the bastard who knocked up Bristol, whats-his-name.) this includes such sub-studies as Palinspeech, Palingeography, and Palintics.

joe: so, what's your major at the university?
moe: Palintology. it's the study of all things Palintical.
joe: (stares blankly at his friend for a couple of minutes; then he says) you're fucking kidding me, aren't you?
moe: no! i'm totally cereal! and now i've got to run-part of my course of study is watching bristol on "dwts."
joe: what the hell is "dwts?"
moe: "dumb white trash shitheads."

by earpuller November 26, 2010

cold diarrhea

the punch line of an insult used in northern New Jersey during the 60's and 70's. made no sense then, makes no sense now, but still kind of funny.

carly: man, you think you're hot shit in a wine glass, but you're just cold diarrhea in a paper cup.
farley: that's so funny i forgot to laugh!
charlie: you're both about as funny as a cigarette machine in a cancer ward.
carly and farley: huh?

by earpuller January 1, 2006

Greenlighting

Among diecast car collectors, the term "Greenlighting" is rapidly catching on. It refers to activities related to the collecting of Greenlight diecast car models. Diehard fans join the "Under-The-Hood" club, a forum for zealous Greenlight enthusiasts which is very laid-back and a fun place for collectors of all types to just hang out and relax. Coined by a UTH member, falcongtho3, an active member of the club (there are over 1300 of us, and growing steadily.)

todd: so whatcha doin' tonight, dude?
rod: after work i'm going to the toy store to find some new models-everyone is releasing new diecasts in time for christmas.
todd: looking for anything in particular?
rod: Greenlights, of course! when i get home i'll log into the Under The Hood club to do some "Greenlighting."
todd: sounds cool! maybe i should check it out!
rod: no doubt!

by earpuller December 12, 2010

timber nigger

noun: NWUP (northern Wisconsin/ Upper Peninsula of Michigan)word for the native population. in other words, polacks, krauts, micks, and wops calling the original owners of this country a foul name derived from the foul name applied to blacks.

joe: hey, let's go ice fishin up north, hey?
moe: nah, dem timber niggers is all protestin again.
joe: about what?
moe: the history of abuse at the hands of the white man, or some shit like that
joe: fuck'em-let's go to Racine and get drunk!
moe: yah, dere hey!!

by earpuller October 1, 2005

off-ramp blocking

the practice of some drivers that prevents others from changing lanes to exit a freeway or other high-speed roadway. the blocker is between the car exiting and the actual exit, and must be travelling in the lane furthest right (in left-hand-drive countries only,) and going at the same speed as the exiting car. this action can cause massive amounts of road rage because often drivers take extreme measures to maintain their position or to get off the road. the blocked driver must usually take the next exit, which is no problem in big cities. when out in the middle of nowhere, however, the next exit may be many miles ahead, increasing the feelings of road rage. note: if the exiting driver is trying to get off from the far left lane, he is a dumbass and should have his license revoked. in this case off-ramp blocking has not occured.

bonnie: these people are so rude here!! i was trying to change lanes so i could get off at 76th street, but some dumbass in a kia spectra stayed alongside of me for miles! i couldn't get off until national avenue!! what a bastard!!
connie: yeah, it's a real problem on the new bypass. lonnie calls it off-ramp blocking, but i call it sheer stupidity.
lonnie: you betcher ass, ladies!!

by earpuller July 2, 2006

blue collar

adjective: working class. I don't know how it became OK to equate blue collar with redneck. I was born and raised just a few miles west of Manhattan (I'm from New Jersey); I don't wear a mullet or a wife beater; I don't drive a pickup truck; and I am an unabashed and unashamed liberal. I am not a redneck; I am blue collar, a member of the working class, and damned proud of it.

redneck: ah hate niggers, jews, catholics, librals, commies, rich people, and anyone else who's not like me.
blue collar: I work with my hands to create the goods and services that people in my community need. I may be of any race, gender, religious belief, sexual orientation, or political affiliation. Without people like me, this country would cease to exist as we know it.

"I work, therefore I am." Rene Descartes, philosopher and laborer

by earpuller December 28, 2005