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77 definitions by earpuller

 
1.
adjective: working class. I don't know how it became OK to equate blue collar with redneck. I was born and raised just a few miles west of Manhattan (I'm from New Jersey); I don't wear a mullet or a wife beater; I don't drive a pickup truck; and I am an unabashed and unashamed liberal. I am not a redneck; I am blue collar, a member of the working class, and damned proud of it.
redneck: ah hate niggers, jews, catholics, librals, commies, rich people, and anyone else who's not like me.
blue collar: I work with my hands to create the goods and services that people in my community need. I may be of any race, gender, religious belief, sexual orientation, or political affiliation. Without people like me, this country would cease to exist as we know it.

"I work, therefore I am." Rene Descartes, philosopher and laborer
by earpuller November 12, 2005
 
2.
noun: the object of a chubby chaser's affection. Never refer to another person as a "chunky monkey" unless-
A. you know the person very well, so much so that said person would not be offended by being called one, or-
B. you can run very fast and will never see the person again.
A. come on over later, my little chunky monkey!
B. baby, you are a chunky monkey. leave some food for the rest of the world!
by earpuller September 22, 2005
 
3.
adj. the third and final phase of sheer unattractiveness.
Phase 1-(one-bagger) so ugly you need to bag her/his face so you can't see it.
Phase 2-(two-bagger) so damned ugly that you bag your face as well, in case the first bag falls off.
Phase 3-(coyote ugly) so hideously ugly that you imitate the action of a trapped coyote and chew off your arm rather than face your "conquest" from the night before.
when I'm a little drunk I'll hit on a one-bagger.
when I'm really drunk I'll settle for a two-bagger.
when I can barely see, talk or walk, then, and only then, will I accept coyote ugly.
by earpuller September 25, 2005
 
4.
noun: false name used-
1. as a stage name for entertainers,
2. conceal the identity of someone,
3. piss off a person temporarily in charge, i.e. substitute teacher.
1. Ringo Starr is the pseudonym used by Richard Starkey, famous drummer and member of The Beatles.
2. The FBI operative who gave information to Woodward and Bernstein concerning the Watergate break-in was known as "Deep Throat" to hide his true identity.
3. Some of my favorite pseudonyms used to upset substitute teachers are Chuck U. Farley, Dick Hertz, Mike Hunt, Mike Ockisore, Harry Pomms, Mike Rotchitchez, and Harry Bolles.
by earpuller September 22, 2005
 
5.
There are three major college degrees one can achieve: B.S., M.S., and PhD. These initials stand for the following-

B.S.-bullshit
M.S.-more shit
PhD.-piled higher and deeper

class dismissed.
mick: hey, the new engineer's specs are all out of whack!! we'll never get this thing built with these numbers!!
rick: well, buddy, you've just discovered the secret to a college degree. it consists of B.S., M.S., and PhD.
dick: yeah, we all know that, butthead!
rick: are you sure? for these college degrees, the initials stand for bullshit, more shit, and piled higher and deeper!!!
everybody laughs; the engineer in question walks through and they laugh even harder
by earpuller June 21, 2006
 
6.
meaning 1: that is true. Replaces "word" or "word up" in urban slang.
meaning 2: how a Milwaukeean says "threw that."
meaning 3: an instruction given to a bike repairman concerning an out-of-alignment wheel.
1: ike: man, something smells bad in here!
mike: true dat! but he who smelled it ,dealt it.
2: Dat pile of trash? I true dat in da garbage yesterday, hey.
3: pat:my bike wheel is a little bent!
matt: yeah, we can true dat. it'll roll straight as an arrow.
by earpuller September 20, 2005
 
7.
noun, a schrute is an annoying co-worker, one who specifically attaches himself to you, decides that you're best buddies, and procedes to make your work life unbearable. derived from Rainn Wilson's character Dwight Schrute from NBC's "The Office."
Sorry, I'd have had this report done sooner, but this schrute kept interrupting me with inane questions. that's why it took me three hours to finish a project that should have taken a half-hour.
by earpuller December 30, 2005