77 definitions by earpuller

the annoying tendency of family groups in stores and other public places to spread out and block access for other shoppers or patrons. seen more often during the holiday shopping seasons, but can occur at any time. EFS can cause unsuspecting people to be forced hard against walls, merchandise displays, etc., or to have to detour around the family group to get at something of interest. similar to groups of aircraft, families often spread into various "vee" formations, echelons, and the dreaded "random EFS," past which nothing can pass, not even light.
this past christmas while shopping at a well-known discount department store, i was accosted by a family of four walking in a row across the aisle. as i was checking out items to purchase, the family came upon me, the dad saying "excuse us," as if i had anyplace else to go. i chose to stand my ground, causing the mom to glare at me and the family to pass me single-file. in this manner i prevented an outbreak of Expanding Family Syndrome.
by earpuller April 11, 2006

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1. one who engages in sexual activities on public transport, especially on trains in the chicagoland area.
2. one who gets all wet thinking about trains, especially commuter trains in chicago.
3. how a southern gentleman might pronounce "metrosexual."
1. hey guys, kelly blew me while we were riding home to fox lake on the train. maybe she'll fuck me if we ride the elgin line!!
2. ohmigod, i almost missed the 5:35 westbound to aurora.....wait, here it comes....ohhhh..... ooooooohhhh....... aaahhhhhhh. that was great.
3. son, what in hail do you mean, "ah'm a metrasexual, grampa?" does that mean yer one a those nancy boys from new york city?
by earpuller April 13, 2006

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a descriptive phrase for attempting any hopeless task. If you've ever tried to push water uphill you'll understand the concept.
literal-Part of my job involves clearing water from the floor of my work station. Because the floor is pitched away from the drain, it takes an inordinate amount of time to clear the water, because I'm always pushing it uphill.
figurative-Asking your boss for a raise in these times of tight money makes as much sense as pushing water uphill.
by earpuller January 15, 2006

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noun: the victim of a pantsing. A pantsie is the guy you see at the mall or walking down the street wearing his pants low on the hips so you can see his skinny little ass, and also the fact that he wears bargain-basement boxers. You would create a pantsie by pulling down his pants. Usually a wannabe of some sort, as a pantsie must do something to show the world how great he wishes he were. BTW-why are pantsies only guys?
Imagine you're walking behind someone flashing his butt crack and his dirty shorts (change them once in a while, jag-off!) letting the world know he's secure in his surroundings, unafraid of being exposed for what he really is (an insecure loser). As a public service you decide to finish the job he started by lowering his pants to floor level, preferably while in the presence of the girl he really likes, or the kids who hate him. VOILA!! You have created a pantsie.
by earpuller September 14, 2005

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noun: a very small penis. Often used as a general putdown for males who actually have normal or even large peckers.
ed: hey dude, i heard you need tweezers to jack off.
fred: yeah, that girl you tried to screw last week told all her friends she needed a magnifying glass just to see if you were hard!
ted: and so, you have been revealed as the possessor of a midget digit!!
ned: damn! oh well, good thing my tongue is as long as my arm!!

by earpuller September 22, 2005

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noun: spoken as one word, meaning "my baby's daddy." Heard frequently on "Judge Joe Brown," "Judge Mathis," and "The Jerry Springer Show." Used by illiterate people of all races and ethinicities, although most prevalent among blacks. A similar word set is "mybabymomma," meaning "my baby's momma," of course. Variations in pronunciation include "muhbebbidaddy" and "mabaybuhsdadduh."
Judge Joe Brown: So, Ms. Federline, who takes care of your children while you're out streetwalking?
britney: wail, they be either wit mah momma or over to they daddy's house, yer Honor.
JJB: Your mother and who?
britney: mybabydaddy. We broke up when he found out I was gonna give him another bastard child for him to not support.
JJB: Y'all are pitiful and I've heard enough!! Case Dismissed!
by earpuller October 05, 2005

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the feeling you get when someone jinxes you, and you swear it's been done before, but you can't remember where or when.
tammy: boy, i've had this burning, stinging sensation in my back for an hour now.
sammy: maybe you should see a doctor?
tammy: i thought about it, but i've had this pain before; it's like someone's poking me with a giant pin.
sammy: well then, you do need a doctor-a witch doctor!! maybe he can remove the curse that's been put on you. you say you've had this pain before?
tammy: yeah, a couple of times. last time was when i broke up with hammie again; all of a sudden i had these terrible shooting pains.
sammy: you know, hammie practices witchcraft and other dark arts. perhaps he made a voodoo doll of you, and every time the two of you get into it, he goes home and sticks it with needles.
tammy: so you think this is a case of-
sammy: -that's right, tammy. you're suffering from deja voodoo.
tammy: can it be treated?
sammy: not with western medicine. you must travel to haiti and see a witch doctor; he'll set you right.
*meanwhile, in another part of town, hammie has grabbed another needle......*
by earpuller July 18, 2006

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