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earpuller's definitions

y.a.n.g.b.

an acronym for a terrible thing for a woman to say to a smitten man-"you're a nice guy, but..." it usually means that the woman in question wouldn't be caught dead with the poor dope, but she doesn't want to make him mad or sad, for whatever reason. this phrase is right up there with the more well-known saying "can't we just be friends?", which of course means "i don't want to know you exist, but i don't want you to think i'm a bitch just because i wouldn't date you if you were the last man on earth." ladies, girls, women of the world, can't you turn us down politely and let us know you're just not interested in a romantic relationship with us?
larry-"hey, uh, carrie, i was wondering if you'd like to go out with me sometime, like out to dinner or to a movie or somethin'"
carrie-"gee, larry, you're a nice guy, but i don't think i can go out with you because (insert lame reason here.)"

LATER THAT DAY-
carrie, to her friends-"holy crap, can you believe that big fat ugly stupid dork had the nerve to ask me out? what does he think, i'm a blind desperate retard?"
MEANWHILE, ACORSS TOWN-
barry-"hey, man, so did you ask her out?"
larry-"yeah, but she gave me the old y.a.n.g.b. goddamned stupid stuck-up little bitch."
barry-"sucks to be you, moron!!"
larry-"gee, thanks, asshole. with friends like you, who needs enemies?"
by earpuller November 21, 2007
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kardash

having many or all of the characteristics of one of the famous Kardashian sisters (how come we never hear about the unfamous Kardashian sisters?) These include well-oversized posteriors, excessive use of eye makeup, black hair that surely came from a bottle, and a vocal quality that makes Fran Drescher sound like an accomplished Broadway actress.
tony: hey, did you see the new receptionist? big ole' butt, and racoon eyes.
donie: and that voice! she sounds all kardash, like those sisters on TV.....what was their name again?
tony: you mean the Kardashians? that's the name you can't remember. how kardash of you.
donie: yeah. speaking of kardash, what kind of printers' ink does your mom use to keep her youthful appearance?
by earpuller December 7, 2010
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true dat

meaning 1: that is true. Replaces "word" or "word up" in urban slang.
meaning 2: how a Milwaukeean says "threw that."
meaning 3: an instruction given to a bike repairman concerning an out-of-alignment wheel.
1: ike: man, something smells bad in here!
mike: true dat! but he who smelled it ,dealt it.
2: Dat pile of trash? I true dat in da garbage yesterday, hey.
3: pat:my bike wheel is a little bent!
matt: yeah, we can true dat. it'll roll straight as an arrow.
by earpuller October 10, 2005
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schrute

noun, a schrute is an annoying co-worker, one who specifically attaches himself to you, decides that you're best buddies, and procedes to make your work life unbearable. derived from Rainn Wilson's character Dwight Schrute from NBC's "The Office."
Sorry, I'd have had this report done sooner, but this schrute kept interrupting me with inane questions. that's why it took me three hours to finish a project that should have taken a half-hour.
by earpuller December 30, 2005
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the NASA scale

just like a NASA launch, counting down from 1 to 10 while watching the ladies. from a distance she looks hot (a 10,) but by the time she's right in front of you she turns out to be glass-shatteringly ugly (a 1.)
dan and stan are walking down main street when they see a woman at the other end of the block walking towards them-
dan: dude! check her out, she's a 10!!
stan: nah, maybe a nine.
dan: yeah, she's kind of fat. make her an 8.
stan: and her nose looks like an eggplant. 7.
dan: gross! she's got a huge booger, too! 6.
stan: and a better mustache than either of us. 5.
dan: look at her hat-she's got no hair! 4.
stan: except for her legs. 3.
dan: you could open a bottle of beer with the gap between her front teeth! 2.
stan: and she's cross-eyed to boot! 1.
both: ah, houston, we've got a problem-ABORT! ABORT!
dan: thank god for the NASA scale!
by earpuller November 22, 2010
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blue collar

adjective: working class. I don't know how it became OK to equate blue collar with redneck. I was born and raised just a few miles west of Manhattan (I'm from New Jersey); I don't wear a mullet or a wife beater; I don't drive a pickup truck; and I am an unabashed and unashamed liberal. I am not a redneck; I am blue collar, a member of the working class, and damned proud of it.
redneck: ah hate niggers, jews, catholics, librals, commies, rich people, and anyone else who's not like me.
blue collar: I work with my hands to create the goods and services that people in my community need. I may be of any race, gender, religious belief, sexual orientation, or political affiliation. Without people like me, this country would cease to exist as we know it.

"I work, therefore I am." Rene Descartes, philosopher and laborer
by earpuller December 28, 2005
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ass dragon

a semi-mythical creature, often seen in industrialized areas of the world. in common with other dragons, the ass dragon is a winged creature, but due to its extra-large posterior, it is incapable of flight (sometimes it is incapable of walking up stairs.) anywhere it walks it leaves a set of deep, broad, round furrows caused by its buttocks cheeks scraping the ground due to exhaustion after a long day's work. as well as belching fire from its snout, the ass dragon often releases noxious fumes from deep within its rear end.
outside the old factory, you can still see the ass dragon's tracks, usually filled with rainwater and colored dyes, and sometimes, after a rainstorm, one can catch the scent of sulfurous compounds emanating from the center of the tracks.
by earpuller November 6, 2007
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