earpuller's definitions
If a company is a house, then Human Resources is the septic tank; all the shit goes there. Human Resources, better known as HR, is the lowest place in a corporation's hierarchy, although they make themselves important by gaining the ability to control who works and who doesn't. To be a success in HR one must lose all trace of humanity and become a robot (becoming a whore is also advisable.) To paraphrase Willie Nelson,"mommas, dont let your babies grow up to be HR drones, don't let 'em be robots or whores or sluts, make 'em be robbers or car thieves and such....."
when i was a child, i thought like a child, but when i grew up and started working in Human Resources, i knew i had lost my soul, and to appease my new gods i fired my best friend, my girlfriend, my brother, an Iraqi war veteran with a silver star and a distinguished service cross, and the guy who saved me from drowning when i was a kid. what a good day's work!!
by earpuller December 2, 2010
Get the Human Resources mug.the feeling one may have just as he or she hits the "post" button at UD talk or on the UD wall. just like closing the barn door after the horse has fled!
gee, you'd think all these defs i've published, all the talk posts, and all the stuff i've written on the UD wall should have given me a severe case of poster's remorse........nah, screw 'em all!!!
by earpuller July 21, 2006
Get the poster's remorse mug.interjection: used to indicate that a situation may cause someone to go ballistic, postal, or otherwise angry beyond all reason. Usually used in a light-hearted manner; saying it when someone is actually about to go ballistic could be the last straw for that person. The term can also be used by magicians, particularly those who specialize in pyrotechnics.
mart: mr. scheckter was so pissed off at you that he was turning red and shaking like a bowl of jello.
bart: yeah, good thing the bell rang, or he would have gone ballistico on me.
The Amazing Kargol:.......and now we add the final ingredient and *blast* "BALLISTICO"
Janet: why, that's amazing, Kargol!!
bart: yeah, good thing the bell rang, or he would have gone ballistico on me.
The Amazing Kargol:.......and now we add the final ingredient and *blast* "BALLISTICO"
Janet: why, that's amazing, Kargol!!
by earpuller December 28, 2005
Get the ballistico mug.will: man, i've got to work all day saturday. guess i won't get to go to the ballgame with you guys.
bill: aw, tough shit.
will: REALLY? CHEW HARDER!!!
bill: aw, tough shit.
will: REALLY? CHEW HARDER!!!
by earpuller November 21, 2010
Get the chew harder mug.the practice of preventing another driver from changing lanes. specifically, when a driver wants to change lanes while through-travelling, but finds himself stuck behind slower traffic, he may wish to pass the other vehicle. a lane blocker, however, will find a way to keep the passing driver stuck in postition, making it impossible for the passing driver to get around safely. usually this is a passive action, as opposed to on-ramp blocking or offramp blocking; often the offending driver is unaware of the faster car wanting to go past (often because the offender is talking on a cell phone.)
eric: come on man, just pass this truck! we're going to be late for the concert!
derrick: i can't pass him! the damned avalon in front of us is lane blocking me!
eric: flash your high-beams to get his attention!
derrick: i tried, but he's talking on his cell phone! must be more important than driving safely.
eric: what a dumbass bastard}!
derrick: i can't pass him! the damned avalon in front of us is lane blocking me!
eric: flash your high-beams to get his attention!
derrick: i tried, but he's talking on his cell phone! must be more important than driving safely.
eric: what a dumbass bastard}!
by earpuller July 2, 2006
Get the lane blocking mug.The tendency of slow-moving cars to converge and prevent faster cars from getting past. Much like a blood clot, the traffic clotcan cause serious trouble unless it is treated quickly. Even on a three- or four-lane freeway, a traffic clot can occur at any time, slowing down other motorists and leading to things like road rage.
ernie: sorry i'm late, buddy, but i was making great time on the tollway until i got caught behind a traffic clot.
bernie: oh man, those suck! how many old hyundais were there?
ernie: three, plus an old couple in an avalon, a civic with go-fast decals and a fart can exhaust, and five minivans.
bernie: they need a separate lane for traffic clots.
ernie: yeah, they could call it the "by-pass!!"
bernie: oh man, those suck! how many old hyundais were there?
ernie: three, plus an old couple in an avalon, a civic with go-fast decals and a fart can exhaust, and five minivans.
bernie: they need a separate lane for traffic clots.
ernie: yeah, they could call it the "by-pass!!"
by earpuller June 13, 2006
Get the traffic clot mug.verb-to be told off or schooled by an older woman; usually she's right, of course. Similar to this is judge joe brown, which is getting told off or schooled by an older man.
noun-to act like the TV judge; scolding, cranky, judgemental (I know judges should be judgemental, but she takes it too far). There is currently no noun form for judge joe brown, due to his less annoying style of juris prudence.
noun-to act like the TV judge; scolding, cranky, judgemental (I know judges should be judgemental, but she takes it too far). There is currently no noun form for judge joe brown, due to his less annoying style of juris prudence.
tommy: hey asshole! get off that car or you'll be judge judy'd by the principal!
timmy: hey asshole too! our principal is a dude!
tommy: in that case you'll get judge joe browned!!
tammy: hey assholes! why don't you both get the hell out of here? i'm sick of seeing you losers just hanging around and making noise and......(long rant here)....................!!!!
tommy: what a bitch!
timmy: no, she's a judge judy!!
timmy: hey asshole too! our principal is a dude!
tommy: in that case you'll get judge joe browned!!
tammy: hey assholes! why don't you both get the hell out of here? i'm sick of seeing you losers just hanging around and making noise and......(long rant here)....................!!!!
tommy: what a bitch!
timmy: no, she's a judge judy!!
by earpuller October 10, 2005
Get the judge judy mug.