earpuller's definitions

metrasexual

1. one who engages in sexual activities on public transport, especially on trains in the chicagoland area.
2. one who gets all wet thinking about trains, especially commuter trains in chicago.
3. how a southern gentleman might pronounce "metrosexual."

1. hey guys, kelly blew me while we were riding home to fox lake on the train. maybe she'll fuck me if we ride the elgin line!!
2. ohmigod, i almost missed the 5:35 westbound to aurora.....wait, here it comes....ohhhh..... ooooooohhhh....... aaahhhhhhh. that was great.
3. son, what in hail do you mean, "ah'm a metrasexual, grampa?" does that mean yer one a those nancy boys from new york city?

by earpuller April 28, 2006

mybabydaddy

noun: spoken as one word, meaning "my baby's daddy." Heard frequently on "Judge Joe Brown," "Judge Mathis," and "The Jerry Springer Show." Used by illiterate people of all races and ethinicities, although most prevalent among blacks. A similar word set is "mybabymomma," meaning "my baby's momma," of course. Variations in pronunciation include "muhbebbidaddy" and "mabaybuhsdadduh."

Judge Joe Brown: So, Ms. Federline, who takes care of your children while you're out streetwalking?
britney: wail, they be either wit mah momma or over to they daddy's house, yer Honor.
JJB: Your mother and who?
britney: mybabydaddy. We broke up when he found out I was gonna give him another bastard child for him to not support.
JJB: Y'all are pitiful and I've heard enough!! Case Dismissed!

by earpuller December 28, 2005

cruise control creeping

the act of allowing an automobile to approach the car ahead because the driver has set his cruise control but is not paying attention to traffic conditions. the noun form of the phrase is "cruise control creeper."

while driving down a two-lane country road, i noticed in my rear view mirror a large foreign sedan approaching my car from behind. his speed was almost the same as mine, just a little quicker, so his approach was pretty slow. still, he kept on getting closer, until i could no longer see his front bumper. suddenly, just as i thought he was going to ram me, he swerved left and passed me at a rapid pace, glaring at me as he passed. he left me behind at the same slow rate as he approached me. i figured he was cruise control creeping, because he was gabbing on a cell phone. to avoid becoming a cruise control creeper myself, i reset my own cruise control and let the other car go about his merry way. after i flipped him off.

by earpuller November 6, 2007

ballistico

interjection: used to indicate that a situation may cause someone to go ballistic, postal, or otherwise angry beyond all reason. Usually used in a light-hearted manner; saying it when someone is actually about to go ballistic could be the last straw for that person. The term can also be used by magicians, particularly those who specialize in pyrotechnics.

mart: mr. scheckter was so pissed off at you that he was turning red and shaking like a bowl of jello.
bart: yeah, good thing the bell rang, or he would have gone ballistico on me.

The Amazing Kargol:.......and now we add the final ingredient and *blast* "BALLISTICO"
Janet: why, that's amazing, Kargol!!

by earpuller December 28, 2005

lane blocking

the practice of preventing another driver from changing lanes. specifically, when a driver wants to change lanes while through-travelling, but finds himself stuck behind slower traffic, he may wish to pass the other vehicle. a lane blocker, however, will find a way to keep the passing driver stuck in postition, making it impossible for the passing driver to get around safely. usually this is a passive action, as opposed to on-ramp blocking or offramp blocking; often the offending driver is unaware of the faster car wanting to go past (often because the offender is talking on a cell phone.)

eric: come on man, just pass this truck! we're going to be late for the concert!
derrick: i can't pass him! the damned avalon in front of us is lane blocking me!
eric: flash your high-beams to get his attention!
derrick: i tried, but he's talking on his cell phone! must be more important than driving safely.
eric: what a dumbass bastard}!

by earpuller July 2, 2006

dilligas

an amusing acronym disguised as a silly word. Dilligas stands for "do I look like I give a shit?" You can say it to your parents, your kid sister, your maiden aunt, really anyone who is annoying you, but whom you do not want to anger.

eddie: So anyway, as I was saying, to make a long story short, in other words, as God as my witness, between you, me, and the fencepost..................
freddie: hey man, dilligas?
eddie: what's that supposed to mean?
freddie: do i look like I give a shit?
eddie walks away angrily, muttering to himself.
freddie smiles, thanking his good fortune at discovering UD.

by earpuller April 15, 2006

traffic clot

The tendency of slow-moving cars to converge and prevent faster cars from getting past. Much like a blood clot, the traffic clotcan cause serious trouble unless it is treated quickly. Even on a three- or four-lane freeway, a traffic clot can occur at any time, slowing down other motorists and leading to things like road rage.

ernie: sorry i'm late, buddy, but i was making great time on the tollway until i got caught behind a traffic clot.
bernie: oh man, those suck! how many old hyundais were there?
ernie: three, plus an old couple in an avalon, a civic with go-fast decals and a fart can exhaust, and five minivans.
bernie: they need a separate lane for traffic clots.
ernie: yeah, they could call it the "by-pass!!"

by earpuller June 13, 2006