earpuller's definitions

neighbores

simply put, boring neighbors. people who think you really care about their lives when, in fact, you wish you could move somewhere far, far away just to get away from them.

lady next door:.....then she said.....just back from visiting my sister in Peoria.....couldn't find a thing in there.....new recipes for hamburger helper.....never buy a german car, my father always said.....(two hours later).....well, i can't stand here talking all day.....(another hour later).....wait, don't you want to see my niece's picture?
me: maybe some other time. i've got to go in now (escaping to the safety of my own apartment, i close and lock the door, and start looking through the rental ads-do they list apartments under "no neighbores allowed?)

by earpuller June 11, 2006

cold diarrhea

the punch line of an insult used in northern New Jersey during the 60's and 70's. made no sense then, makes no sense now, but still kind of funny.

carly: man, you think you're hot shit in a wine glass, but you're just cold diarrhea in a paper cup.
farley: that's so funny i forgot to laugh!
charlie: you're both about as funny as a cigarette machine in a cancer ward.
carly and farley: huh?

by earpuller January 1, 2006

pantser

noun: one who performs a pantsing on a pantsie. Sharing the pronunciation of the German word for "armor", the pantsie believes the pantser is, in fact, some kind of Nazi fascist scum. Actually, the pantser is a sort of public defender of taste, e.g. the pantser shows the absurdity of publicly displaying one's underwear by showing even more of the pantsie's skivvies. A pantser absolutely will NEVER pants a person whose pants are worn properly; this violates The Pantser Creed (definition to follow-or not).

ike: that guy needs to be pantsed!
mike: but who can do the deed?
ike: wait a minute-i could do it! all i need to do is pull down his pants and SHAZAM!! i am a pantser.
rene descarte (french philosopher and early prankster of some repute): i pants, therefore i am.

by earpuller September 27, 2005

UDitors

noun; Urban Dictionary editors. It can be pronounced like the word "editors," or with a short "u" sound, like "mud." UDitors are the arbiters of what goes in or stays out of this website. We come from all walks of life and from around the world. Our common bond is a commitment to documenting the changing vocabulary of today's world

The UDitors are trying to publish only worthy bits of slang, while also trying to remove slanderous and hurtful defs that snuck through in the past. Soon no one will have to read what kind of a bad person he or she is.

by earpuller January 19, 2006

niglish

noun: another way of saying ebonics, ot the language of illiterate street scum who "keep it real." Niglish is often heard on "Judge Joe Brown," and parodied on "Chapelle's Show."
Niglish is also the favorite language of trailer trash whiteys and other wigger wannabes.

ike: hey spike, whattya like?
mike: what's goin on man? why're you dressed like fiddy-thent?
spike: whatup, dawgs, i's jes keepin' it real, fo shizzle. later me and mah homies gonna do somfin ghetto, aight?
ike: what the fuck did he say?
mike: i dunno, but sounds like niglish to me. Funny thing is, he graduated 1st in his class at prep school

by earpuller September 15, 2005

midget digit

noun: a very small penis. Often used as a general putdown for males who actually have normal or even large peckers.

ed: hey dude, i heard you need tweezers to jack off.
fred: yeah, that girl you tried to screw last week told all her friends she needed a magnifying glass just to see if you were hard!
ted: and so, you have been revealed as the possessor of a midget digit!!
ned: damn! oh well, good thing my tongue is as long as my arm!!

by earpuller October 1, 2005

dirty dining

performing oral sex on a woman.

Courtney Gerrish of WTMJ-TV Channel 4 in Milwaukee was the reporter on a story about "Dirty Dining." She's tall, thin, blonde........I'd like to do a little dirty dining with her...on my face!!

by earpuller July 13, 2006