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earpuller's definitions

field vasectomy

an informally performed surgery, usually without benefit of anasthesia, sterilization, or any kind of hygienic preparation. similar procedures include field castration, field lobotomy, field amputation, etc. in all cases the patient is someone deserving of rough treatment, and the surgeon is the person providing it.
harry: did you hear about cary? his girlfriend found out he was cheating on her, so she gave him a field vasectomy.
larry: ouch!! did she use any instruments?
harry: well, mostly she used her hands, feet, and knees. she did threaten to perform a field castration with a rusty spoon if she caught him cheating again.
larry: jeez, what a dumb fuck. he should have worn a cup.
by earpuller December 28, 2005
mugGet the field vasectomymug.

ballistico

interjection: used to indicate that a situation may cause someone to go ballistic, postal, or otherwise angry beyond all reason. Usually used in a light-hearted manner; saying it when someone is actually about to go ballistic could be the last straw for that person. The term can also be used by magicians, particularly those who specialize in pyrotechnics.
mart: mr. scheckter was so pissed off at you that he was turning red and shaking like a bowl of jello.
bart: yeah, good thing the bell rang, or he would have gone ballistico on me.

The Amazing Kargol:.......and now we add the final ingredient and *blast* "BALLISTICO"
Janet: why, that's amazing, Kargol!!
by earpuller December 28, 2005
mugGet the ballisticomug.
committing an act of such uselessness that it has negative value.
pete: so why did you loan that douchebag $500? he already owes you $2500 for that car he bought from you!
clete: well, he promised if he hit it big at the casino, he'd give me double the money he owes me, so i figured "what the hell?"
pete: it's bad enough you buy this guy's bull shit, but ignoring his past is like giving a flashlight to a blind man. next time, just burn your spare cash.
by earpuller November 21, 2010
mugGet the like giving a flashlight to a blind manmug.

chew harder

when someone says "tough shit," you use this little phrase as a comeback/response/rejoinder.
will: man, i've got to work all day saturday. guess i won't get to go to the ballgame with you guys.
bill: aw, tough shit.
will: REALLY? CHEW HARDER!!!
by earpuller November 21, 2010
mugGet the chew hardermug.

barf bag

noun: 1. a paper bag supplied by airlines in case of air sickness.
2. a person who seems about as attractive as such an item.
1. passenger on airplane-whew, I feel sick to my stomach! I've gotta use the barf bag..........(RALPH).........man, shoulda used dramamine.....(SPEW)................
2. upset citizen-hey, barf bag! Keep yer fucking dog off my lawn and turn down that god-damned radio!!! And get a haircut!!!
by earpuller December 28, 2005
mugGet the barf bagmug.

metrasexual

1. one who engages in sexual activities on public transport, especially on trains in the chicagoland area.
2. one who gets all wet thinking about trains, especially commuter trains in chicago.
3. how a southern gentleman might pronounce "metrosexual."
1. hey guys, kelly blew me while we were riding home to fox lake on the train. maybe she'll fuck me if we ride the elgin line!!
2. ohmigod, i almost missed the 5:35 westbound to aurora.....wait, here it comes....ohhhh..... ooooooohhhh....... aaahhhhhhh. that was great.
3. son, what in hail do you mean, "ah'm a metrasexual, grampa?" does that mean yer one a those nancy boys from new york city?
by earpuller April 28, 2006
mugGet the metrasexualmug.

judge judy

verb-to be told off or schooled by an older woman; usually she's right, of course. Similar to this is judge joe brown, which is getting told off or schooled by an older man.

noun-to act like the TV judge; scolding, cranky, judgemental (I know judges should be judgemental, but she takes it too far). There is currently no noun form for judge joe brown, due to his less annoying style of juris prudence.
tommy: hey asshole! get off that car or you'll be judge judy'd by the principal!
timmy: hey asshole too! our principal is a dude!
tommy: in that case you'll get judge joe browned!!
tammy: hey assholes! why don't you both get the hell out of here? i'm sick of seeing you losers just hanging around and making noise and......(long rant here)....................!!!!
tommy: what a bitch!
timmy: no, she's a judge judy!!
by earpuller October 10, 2005
mugGet the judge judymug.

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