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earpuller's definitions

scrubbing rust

another way of describing a useless task to be performed. similar to pushing water uphill, scrubbing rust is pointless to anyone with half a brain. therefore, most managers and supervisors can't understand why you don't want to do the job at hand.
big boss man-ok, after you get done pushing water uphill, you and eddie take apart that holding tank and start scrubbing rust. we need it super clean and sanitary.
me and eddie-you've got to be fucking kidding me!! how does scrubbing rust clean anything? it just wastes time.
big boss man-hey, i'm in charge around here, and you'll do as i say or you'll be fired! understood?
me and eddie-understood. fire away, asshole!!
by earpuller July 14, 2006
mugGet the scrubbing rustmug.

wiki-wandering

after looking up the info you need on Wikipedia, you click on random, interesting-looking links, reading new stuff, until you find yourself reading about something totally unrelated to your original subject.
i looked up "mickey mantle" on Wikipedia. when i was done, i clicked on "new york yankee players," then "world series champions," then on "brooklyn dodgers," then on "leo durocher," then on "laraine day" then on " famous mormons," then on "donny osmond," then on "tv stars of the 70's," then on "david soul", then on "starsky and hutch," then on "tv cars," then on "ford torino," then on "torino talledega," then on "richard petty," then on "stock car champions," then on "alan kulwicki," then on "famous persons from wisconsin," then on "jeffery dahmer," then on "serial killers," then on "howard unruh," then on "camden, new jersey," then on "campbell soup," and then i realized i had just wasted the last three hours wiki-wandering!
by earpuller September 12, 2009
mugGet the wiki-wanderingmug.

coyote ugly

adj. the third and final phase of sheer unattractiveness.
Phase 1-(one-bagger) so ugly you need to bag her/his face so you can't see it.
Phase 2-(two-bagger) so damned ugly that you bag your face as well, in case the first bag falls off.
Phase 3-(coyote ugly) so hideously ugly that you imitate the action of a trapped coyote and chew off your arm rather than face your "conquest" from the night before.
when I'm a little drunk I'll hit on a one-bagger.
when I'm really drunk I'll settle for a two-bagger.
when I can barely see, talk or walk, then, and only then, will I accept coyote ugly.
by earpuller October 10, 2005
mugGet the coyote uglymug.

jose queerbo

the favorite beer among Mexican homosexuals.
Hey mang, bring me a jose queerbo and give me a big wet kiss!
don't bring me a dos ickies, i can'TECATEnymore!
by earpuller October 10, 2005
mugGet the jose queerbomug.

deja voodoo

the feeling you get when someone jinxes you, and you swear it's been done before, but you can't remember where or when.
tammy: boy, i've had this burning, stinging sensation in my back for an hour now.
sammy: maybe you should see a doctor?
tammy: i thought about it, but i've had this pain before; it's like someone's poking me with a giant pin.
sammy: well then, you do need a doctor-a witch doctor!! maybe he can remove the curse that's been put on you. you say you've had this pain before?
tammy: yeah, a couple of times. last time was when i broke up with hammie again; all of a sudden i had these terrible shooting pains.
sammy: you know, hammie practices witchcraft and other dark arts. perhaps he made a voodoo doll of you, and every time the two of you get into it, he goes home and sticks it with needles.
tammy: so you think this is a case of-
sammy: -that's right, tammy. you're suffering from deja voodoo.
tammy: can it be treated?
sammy: not with western medicine. you must travel to haiti and see a witch doctor; he'll set you right.
*meanwhile, in another part of town, hammie has grabbed another needle......*
by earpuller July 19, 2006
mugGet the deja voodoomug.

ballistico

interjection: used to indicate that a situation may cause someone to go ballistic, postal, or otherwise angry beyond all reason. Usually used in a light-hearted manner; saying it when someone is actually about to go ballistic could be the last straw for that person. The term can also be used by magicians, particularly those who specialize in pyrotechnics.
mart: mr. scheckter was so pissed off at you that he was turning red and shaking like a bowl of jello.
bart: yeah, good thing the bell rang, or he would have gone ballistico on me.

The Amazing Kargol:.......and now we add the final ingredient and *blast* "BALLISTICO"
Janet: why, that's amazing, Kargol!!
by earpuller December 28, 2005
mugGet the ballisticomug.

traffic clot

The tendency of slow-moving cars to converge and prevent faster cars from getting past. Much like a blood clot, the traffic clotcan cause serious trouble unless it is treated quickly. Even on a three- or four-lane freeway, a traffic clot can occur at any time, slowing down other motorists and leading to things like road rage.
ernie: sorry i'm late, buddy, but i was making great time on the tollway until i got caught behind a traffic clot.
bernie: oh man, those suck! how many old hyundais were there?
ernie: three, plus an old couple in an avalon, a civic with go-fast decals and a fart can exhaust, and five minivans.
bernie: they need a separate lane for traffic clots.
ernie: yeah, they could call it the "by-pass!!"
by earpuller June 13, 2006
mugGet the traffic clotmug.

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