77 definitions by earpuller

a semi-mythical creature, often seen in industrialized areas of the world. in common with other dragons, the ass dragon is a winged creature, but due to its extra-large posterior, it is incapable of flight (sometimes it is incapable of walking up stairs.) anywhere it walks it leaves a set of deep, broad, round furrows caused by its buttocks cheeks scraping the ground due to exhaustion after a long day's work. as well as belching fire from its snout, the ass dragon often releases noxious fumes from deep within its rear end.

outside the old factory, you can still see the ass dragon's tracks, usually filled with rainwater and colored dyes, and sometimes, after a rainstorm, one can catch the scent of sulfurous compounds emanating from the center of the tracks.
by earpuller October 20, 2007
similar to naughty little rhymes (if this wasn't published, just follow along,) naughty haiku uses the classic japanese poem structure combined with good old American sex-obsession to create a new art form. The form of a haiku is always as follows-
first line=five syllables
second line=seven syllables
third line=five syllables
-so now just add some semi-pornographic, naughty, or just silly ideas, and voila! naughty haiku!
here some examples of naughty haiku-

her bosom heaving,
jiggling, as she runs away
from me, down the road.

sometimes i stare out
from my window, watching her
as she trims her bush.

gee, i didn't know
she was only fifteen, sir.
off to jail with me.

the couple wriggled
and writhed, moaning in passion;
then the tape ran out.
by earpuller July 15, 2006
the practice of preventing another driver from changing lanes. specifically, when a driver wants to change lanes while through-travelling, but finds himself stuck behind slower traffic, he may wish to pass the other vehicle. a lane blocker, however, will find a way to keep the passing driver stuck in postition, making it impossible for the passing driver to get around safely. usually this is a passive action, as opposed to on-ramp blocking or offramp blocking; often the offending driver is unaware of the faster car wanting to go past (often because the offender is talking on a cell phone.)
eric: come on man, just pass this truck! we're going to be late for the concert!
derrick: i can't pass him! the damned avalon in front of us is lane blocking me!
eric: flash your high-beams to get his attention!
derrick: i tried, but he's talking on his cell phone! must be more important than driving safely.
eric: what a dumbass bastard}!
by earpuller July 02, 2006
emu
half of a comedy pair from the 70's, Rod Hull and Emu. Emu was actually a very large hand puppet; Rod's hand was the emu's head, and his "arm" was a fake, so it looked like he was carrying the large bird. Their routine was not too funny at first, until the emu began to respond to the bad jokes and puns Rod was saying. The emu would make strange faces, stick out his tongue, and mimic his handler, leading Rod to believe he was actually funny. Usually the act ended when the emu attacked Rod. This explanation will make no sense to people who haven't seen it (you young people) but those who came of age in the 70's and 80's Rod Hull and Emu rank with Monty Python and the original cast of Saturday Night Live.
I can't remember which shows they appeared on, but Rod Hull and Emu did all kinds of variety, skit comedy, and kids shows in the 70's.
by earpuller October 16, 2005
a term of non-sexual affection used between straight males; may be exclusive to the milwaukee area, circa 1982.
lars: hey guys, what's going on?
kevin: BUDDY BUTTOCKS!!!
lars: say it a little louder, kev, some folks in the next county might not have heard you.
kevin: OK!! BUDDY BUTTOCKS!!
lars: i should have gone to marqutte.
kevin: but i'm glad you didn't, otherwise we'd never hang out, BUDDY BUTTOCKS!!
the rest of us: enough already!!!
by earpuller September 16, 2005
another way of describing a useless task to be performed. similar to pushing water uphill, scrubbing rust is pointless to anyone with half a brain. therefore, most managers and supervisors can't understand why you don't want to do the job at hand.
big boss man-ok, after you get done pushing water uphill, you and eddie take apart that holding tank and start scrubbing rust. we need it super clean and sanitary.
me and eddie-you've got to be fucking kidding me!! how does scrubbing rust clean anything? it just wastes time.
big boss man-hey, i'm in charge around here, and you'll do as i say or you'll be fired! understood?
me and eddie-understood. fire away, asshole!!
by earpuller July 14, 2006
a derogatory term for Ford Motor Company's legendary sporty car, the Mustang. The implication is that the Mustang is a dog (mutt) that stinks (stank.) Usually used by fans of General Motors' late lamented Glimmer Twins, the Camaro and the Firebird.
gene: so whatcha gonna do now that yer ex-wife gotcher Explorer in the divorce?
dean: i dunno. i always wanted a Mustang, maybe I'll get a red one.
gene: whatthefuck? why bother with a Muttstank? you might as well walk, or buy a Hyundai.
dean: stfu, at least they didn't discontinue the Mustang like they did the Cramped Arrow or the Misfirebird.
me: wait till they bring back the Challenger!!
gene and dean: who said that?
by earpuller March 19, 2006
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