earpuller's definitions

guacamole shower

a rare phenomenon caused by the unrestricted spillage of guacamole dip. often caused by an exploding guacagrenade, the guacamole shower leaves everything in its path stained an avocado green, at least until the next rainstorm.

as lisa tried to pick up the serving bowl of guacamole dip, it slipped from her greasy hands and crashed to the table, strewing green stuff everywhere. "nice guacamole shower, lisa," tammi yelled, "i hope it rains soon, or at least before mom and dad get back from cancun."

by earpuller July 16, 2006

judge joe brown

verb-to be told off or schooled by an older man, who is probably right for getting on your ass. If it's an older woman, use the verb judge judy.

bobby: when my dad finds out i wrecked his car he's gonna judge joe brown me for hours.

by earpuller October 1, 2005

pushing water uphill

a descriptive phrase for attempting any hopeless task. If you've ever tried to push water uphill you'll understand the concept.

literal-Part of my job involves clearing water from the floor of my work station. Because the floor is pitched away from the drain, it takes an inordinate amount of time to clear the water, because I'm always pushing it uphill.
figurative-Asking your boss for a raise in these times of tight money makes as much sense as pushing water uphill.

by earpuller January 19, 2006

FOR ME TO POOP ON!

from the "Late Night with Conan O'Brian" show. Standard insult given by Triumph, The Insult Comic Dog. Used at the end of a sentence to change a comment/statement/compliment into an insult or put-down. Notice the context of the sentence examples to see how to use it (or decline to use it.)

good time to use it: Oh yes, I just bought your new CD, Ashlee, and it is the greatest thing in the world.....FOR ME TO POOP ON!
bad time to use it: Mom, can you make some Rice Krispies treats......FOR ME TO POOP ON? *gets smacked by Mom, then Dad, then by the rest of the family*

by earpuller December 28, 2005

schrute

noun, a schrute is an annoying co-worker, one who specifically attaches himself to you, decides that you're best buddies, and procedes to make your work life unbearable. derived from Rainn Wilson's character Dwight Schrute from NBC's "The Office."

Sorry, I'd have had this report done sooner, but this schrute kept interrupting me with inane questions. that's why it took me three hours to finish a project that should have taken a half-hour.

by earpuller December 30, 2005

loaded and corroded

1. Another over-long way of saying "drunk."
2. The term for when the baseball team you dislike has a man on each base (or "bases loaded.") Popular in the late sixties/early seventies in northern New Jersey; may have been used in other areas.

1. benny-"man, did you see that douchebag at the club last night? falling down drunk again! that boy was sure loaded."
denny-"yeah, and he got that way on zima!! that means he was loaded and corroded.!!"

2. When the Atlanta Braves or New York Yankees have a runner at each base, you can honestly say the bases are loaded and corroded.

by earpuller November 6, 2007

Walmart

an acronym for the standard employee pool-
We're All Lazy Motherfuckers And Retired Truckers
-or-
We're All, Like, Minorities, Asians, Redneck Trash
-or-
Where A Luckless Moron Acquires Revolting Things
(maybe that's one def too many.)

.........rising from the site of the abandoned chemical plant, near the creek that has no life in it, a brand-spanking-new Walmart is soon to open in your area. Doesn't matter where you live, anywhere in the world-if Dubya doesn't get you, or his replacement (Dan Quayle, anyone?), Walmart will be there soon. Run away, but you will never escape................WALMART!!!!!!

by earpuller October 10, 2005