noun: a woman who flaunts her "pureness" in public while sucking cock in private. Her image would be sullied if it were revealed that she was just like everyone else in her peer group (sexually active). Could also apply to a man, I guess, but how many guys brag about being a virgin?
the following are examples of celebrity women who could be accused of being professional virgins-
circa 1982-"Hi, I'm Brooke Shields, and I never, ever have sex with anyone! I'm saving myself for marriage!!" (doggy style? ok, Andre!!)
circa 1998-"Hi, I'm Britney Spears, and I'm as pure as the driven snow!! I don't let a boy go all the way with me ever! I'm waiting until I'm married!!" (ok, Justin, but let me mouthwash first. I can still taste your cock.)
a serious medical condition, wherein your cranium, or brain
, has changed places with your rectum, or asshole
. it can lead to jail time, unwanted pregnancy, divorce, loss of job and/or income, and public embarrassment.
joey: oh man, i can't believe i broke up with chloe; she's the best thing that ever happened to me. how could i be so stupid?
zoey: you may have been suffering from rectal-cranial inversion. you may still be. consult your psychologist or your proctologist as soon as possible.
joey: thanks, you're a real pal. i guess i need a tractor.
zoey: for what?
joey: to pull my head out of my ass!!
zoey: true dat
another way of saying butterface
, referring to someone who is 8/9ths perfect, but the uppermost 1/9th is a killer. one can say "nnd" for short.
you see her standing on line, waiting to check out. expensive high-heel FMs
, tan hose, long slender legs, perfect heart-shaped butt, gently curving hips, slim waist, large firm breasts, elegant neck. the ideal woman.........and then she turns toward you........and has a face like the dark side of the moon. oh well, they all look the same with the lights out. this is the essence of nice from the neck down.
the punch line of an insult used in northern New Jersey during the 60's and 70's. made no sense then, makes no sense now, but still kind of funny.
carly: man, you think you're hot shit
in a wine glass, but you're just cold diarrhea in a paper cup.
farley: that's so funny i forgot to laugh!
charlie: you're both about as funny as a cigarette machine in a cancer ward.
carly and farley: huh?