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earpuller's definitions

rectal-cranial inversion

a serious medical condition, wherein your cranium, or brain, has changed places with your rectum, or asshole. it can lead to jail time, unwanted pregnancy, divorce, loss of job and/or income, and public embarrassment.
joey: oh man, i can't believe i broke up with chloe; she's the best thing that ever happened to me. how could i be so stupid?
zoey: you may have been suffering from rectal-cranial inversion. you may still be. consult your psychologist or your proctologist as soon as possible.
joey: thanks, you're a real pal. i guess i need a tractor.
zoey: for what?
joey: to pull my head out of my ass!!
zoey: true dat.
by earpuller May 18, 2006
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chunky monkey

noun: the object of a chubby chaser's affection. Never refer to another person as a "chunky monkey" unless-
A. you know the person very well, so much so that said person would not be offended by being called one, or-
B. you can run very fast and will never see the person again.
A. come on over later, my little chunky monkey!
B. baby, you are a chunky monkey. leave some food for the rest of the world!
by earpuller October 10, 2005
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stacies

plural noun. A gathering of former cheerleaders, often from New Jersey. Their common bond is that they've all had elective plastic surgery to make up for "God's mistakes."
This term is used in a way similar to "a gaggle of geese," "a herd of deer (heard of deer? of course i've heard of deer)," or "a murder of crows." It should never be used in the context of "A Flock of Seagulls," unless the stacies still have big hair.
stacy 1: oh, hi, stacy!! love your hair!! how's your husband, you know, the guy i used to sleep with?
stacy 2: well hello, dear!! he's just fine, thank you. his rash finally cleared up.
stacy 3: hey girls, i can still fit in my old uniform!!
stacy 4: well, considering you were a size 42 in high school, that's no accomplishment.
stacy 5: now that's enough catty talk from you sluts...i mean, you ladies.
don the waiter: oh hell, another group of stacies. lousy tippers and louder than giant stadium.
ted the bartender: don't sweat it man. besides, stacies are good for a quick one out in the parking lot. all you have to do is tell them how young and gorgeous they look.
by earpuller April 18, 2006
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yer what hurts?

a humorous all-purpose interjection used after someone makes a curious statement. intended to bring smiles to all persons in the immediate vicinity. heard frequently in the mid-eighties in and around smegwaukee.
charley: hey, that guy looks like renee zellweger, except that she's a girl and he's not
harley: YER WHAT HURTS?

don: man, i'd better get a move on, i've got a big exam tomorrow.
john: yer what hurts?
don: oh shut up, dickless moron!!
john: wow, that hurts, man. *sobs quietly*
don: YER WHAT HURTS?
by earpuller December 28, 2005
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chew harder

when someone says "tough shit," you use this little phrase as a comeback/response/rejoinder.
will: man, i've got to work all day saturday. guess i won't get to go to the ballgame with you guys.
bill: aw, tough shit.
will: REALLY? CHEW HARDER!!!
by earpuller November 21, 2010
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barf bag

noun: 1. a paper bag supplied by airlines in case of air sickness.
2. a person who seems about as attractive as such an item.
1. passenger on airplane-whew, I feel sick to my stomach! I've gotta use the barf bag..........(RALPH).........man, shoulda used dramamine.....(SPEW)................
2. upset citizen-hey, barf bag! Keep yer fucking dog off my lawn and turn down that god-damned radio!!! And get a haircut!!!
by earpuller December 28, 2005
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metrasexual

1. one who engages in sexual activities on public transport, especially on trains in the chicagoland area.
2. one who gets all wet thinking about trains, especially commuter trains in chicago.
3. how a southern gentleman might pronounce "metrosexual."
1. hey guys, kelly blew me while we were riding home to fox lake on the train. maybe she'll fuck me if we ride the elgin line!!
2. ohmigod, i almost missed the 5:35 westbound to aurora.....wait, here it comes....ohhhh..... ooooooohhhh....... aaahhhhhhh. that was great.
3. son, what in hail do you mean, "ah'm a metrasexual, grampa?" does that mean yer one a those nancy boys from new york city?
by earpuller April 28, 2006
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