earpuller's definitions

emu

half of a comedy pair from the 70's, Rod Hull and Emu. Emu was actually a very large hand puppet; Rod's hand was the emu's head, and his "arm" was a fake, so it looked like he was carrying the large bird. Their routine was not too funny at first, until the emu began to respond to the bad jokes and puns Rod was saying. The emu would make strange faces, stick out his tongue, and mimic his handler, leading Rod to believe he was actually funny. Usually the act ended when the emu attacked Rod. This explanation will make no sense to people who haven't seen it (you young people) but those who came of age in the 70's and 80's Rod Hull and Emu rank with Monty Python and the original cast of Saturday Night Live.

I can't remember which shows they appeared on, but Rod Hull and Emu did all kinds of variety, skit comedy, and kids shows in the 70's.

by earpuller December 28, 2005

professional virgin

noun: a woman who flaunts her "pureness" in public while sucking cock in private. Her image would be sullied if it were revealed that she was just like everyone else in her peer group (sexually active). Could also apply to a man, I guess, but how many guys brag about being a virgin?

the following are examples of celebrity women who could be accused of being professional virgins-

circa 1982-"Hi, I'm Brooke Shields, and I never, ever have sex with anyone! I'm saving myself for marriage!!" (doggy style? ok, Andre!!)
circa 1998-"Hi, I'm Britney Spears, and I'm as pure as the driven snow!! I don't let a boy go all the way with me ever! I'm waiting until I'm married!!" (ok, Justin, but let me mouthwash first. I can still taste your cock.)

by earpuller September 17, 2005

oxnard

1. a small city in California.
2. the genitals of a large, clumsy, male bovine.
3. just another word you can call someone to insult him.

1. Oxnard is near Los Angeles, at least when compared to San Francisco.
2. check out that dude! he's hung like an oxnard.
3. dude, you scratched the paint on my '87 prelude! now i've got to spend the day at MAACO! you fuckin' oxnard!

by earpuller November 22, 2010

Muttstank

a derogatory term for Ford Motor Company's legendary sporty car, the Mustang. The implication is that the Mustang is a dog (mutt) that stinks (stank.) Usually used by fans of General Motors' late lamented Glimmer Twins, the Camaro and the Firebird.

gene: so whatcha gonna do now that yer ex-wife gotcher Explorer in the divorce?
dean: i dunno. i always wanted a Mustang, maybe I'll get a red one.
gene: whatthefuck? why bother with a Muttstank? you might as well walk, or buy a Hyundai.
dean: stfu, at least they didn't discontinue the Mustang like they did the Cramped Arrow or the Misfirebird.
me: wait till they bring back the Challenger!!
gene and dean: who said that?

by earpuller April 18, 2006

dilligas

an amusing acronym disguised as a silly word. Dilligas stands for "do I look like I give a shit?" You can say it to your parents, your kid sister, your maiden aunt, really anyone who is annoying you, but whom you do not want to anger.

eddie: So anyway, as I was saying, to make a long story short, in other words, as God as my witness, between you, me, and the fencepost..................
freddie: hey man, dilligas?
eddie: what's that supposed to mean?
freddie: do i look like I give a shit?
eddie walks away angrily, muttering to himself.
freddie smiles, thanking his good fortune at discovering UD.

by earpuller April 15, 2006

mybabydaddy

noun: spoken as one word, meaning "my baby's daddy." Heard frequently on "Judge Joe Brown," "Judge Mathis," and "The Jerry Springer Show." Used by illiterate people of all races and ethinicities, although most prevalent among blacks. A similar word set is "mybabymomma," meaning "my baby's momma," of course. Variations in pronunciation include "muhbebbidaddy" and "mabaybuhsdadduh."

Judge Joe Brown: So, Ms. Federline, who takes care of your children while you're out streetwalking?
britney: wail, they be either wit mah momma or over to they daddy's house, yer Honor.
JJB: Your mother and who?
britney: mybabydaddy. We broke up when he found out I was gonna give him another bastard child for him to not support.
JJB: Y'all are pitiful and I've heard enough!! Case Dismissed!

by earpuller December 28, 2005

beat 'n' defeated

a redundant phrase, since each word can mean the same thing. however, due to its rhyming scheme, it seems to be a more definitive way of saying someone or something lost.

beat-you lost the tennis match 6-4, 6-4, 6-3 to a very good opponent.

defeated-you lost your previous match 6-3, 6-2, 6-2 to an average player.

beat and defeated-your kid brother won a match against you 6-0, 6-0, 6-0 even though he had spent the last week sick in bed with the flu and he wasn't wearing his glasses. this, my friends, means you were beat 'n' defeated. soundly.

by earpuller November 6, 2007