david's definitions

spanking the monkey

Taking things in to your own hand or a hand trusted by you.

I woke up last night and found my monkey standing up. I spanked him and he went back to sleep.

by David October 27, 2003

loping the mule

Jacking off. Chocking the chicken. spanking the monkey. pumping your pud. Chaseing the weasel. beating your meat.

Last night I woke up and she was lopeing my mule. It spit at her and she spit back.

by David October 27, 2003

Deppe

1. A mythical maiden who suffers from fears of attachment.

2. A fun-loving and caring midwesterner that has been placed in the Deep South and is making the best of every moment.

Last night I saw a Deppe and it was the best time ever. This Deppe took my keys away so I would not drive home drunk.

by David December 3, 2004

omgs

Bastardized form of omg, which is a bastardized form of oh! Often used by Asians with poor English (in my experience), but also used by others

Omgs, maybes I go to the market todays keke

by David May 13, 2005

butt relish

highly insulting reference to a variety of types of leavings from inefficient post-defecatory rectal clean-up

derivatives include:
butt salsa
butt ketchup
butt dip
butt buffet

you get the picture....

"You kiss my boyfriend again, beyotch, and I'll slap you down and make you eat my butt relish!"

by David July 11, 2003

text me

When you want someone to text you on your cell phone a "Txt Msg" (Text Message)

Hey John text me with the football game scores..

by David May 14, 2004

hoobajawa

Extended: In the most severe of cases the penis has been known to smell like tomatos and explode

Scotts dick wouldn't have exploded but he had to fuck her not once, not twice, but thrice

by David July 30, 2004