Weasel's definitions

poop-in-the-john

similar to the act of a jack-in-the-box, but rather when one flips up the toilet seat and finds a disgusting piece of old, yellow-brown, shit sitting at the bottom of the comode; this is usually done as a joke to show off your big load to a friend or relative, and is very rude because they didnt flush it down

i saw the worst poop-in-the-john this morning, my brother said he dropped it the night before, which explained the absurd shape and color of it

by weasel May 20, 2005

chillaxterbate

to simulitaneously beat off and rub an ice pack on your jewels(genitalia) which produces a "chilling sensation"; this is best done when one is really hot from some sort of exercise and their nuts are hung like a horse, so putting an ice pack on them relaxes them; however, the negative things about chillaxterbating is that the spluge discharge won't be as far because of the cold temperatures and also if you chillaxterbate too long, you will lose all of your babies(sperm) due to that cold temperatures kill them; this can also be a 2 person exercise which can include many enjoyable positions

I love to chillaxterbate after weight lifting because it cools me down

by weasel May 25, 2005

venus nosetrap

the procedure of sneeking up on a sleeping relative or friend who is lying on a couch or some flat surface, and then propping your bare ass right in front of his or her face, next you break some serious wind which scares the shit out of the victim and causes them to jerk their head up violently, the most stimulating element of this process is the next movement which is when the victim's head jerks up and sadistically smacks the bare ass of the performer creating devastating whiplash and then their nose is inserted into the performer's anus, creaing a "venus nosetrap"; this is extremely brutal for the victim because they have the cruel honor of smelling an anus filled with soiled odor; if the performer has a huge ass they can potentially suffocate the victim; if the venus nosetrap is done properly, the victim looks like he is wearing a moon mask, with "moon" deriving from the ass

after holding in a day's worth of farts, i snuck up on my sleeping brother, seth, and gave him the best venus nosetrap yet, making him pass out for 5 minutes, from either my foul fart or blocking up his breathing paths

by weasel June 9, 2005

pipe cleaning

when you receive an orgasmically felacio from a chick; usually its when you haven't received a felacio in a while

last night mandy cleaned my pipe and i busted all in her face

by weasel April 23, 2005

flapjack and a cigarette

the action of vigorous titty fuck which includes the union of flapjacks(big saggy breasts) and a short thin pecker

"Bob, when was the last time you had a flapjack and a cigarette with your girlfriend?"

by weasel April 23, 2005

sniper in the hole

the act of hiding in the closet and vigorously beating off while your friend is fucking a girl doggystyle on the bed, then right before your about to spluge you run out of the closet and blow a load in the girls face

last night i skeeted all in nikkis face when i was a sniper in the hole

by weasel May 1, 2005

blowing hard ass

the process of forcing your air inside your ass bypass the turds in the anus and releasing some serious wind which smeels like rotten eggs

while i was in the elevator with some strangers at the mall, i blew some hard ass, so i explained to them i was on a laxative

by weasel May 2, 2005