133 definitions by Uncle Joosie

Belinda was switching channels after a long day at work and landed on Fixed Noise. bearded and obese Rafael Ted Cruz was on with Tucker Carlson to slam the libs and Belinda said "I don't got enough Chardonnay to sit through Fat Dracula. fucking pass dude."
by Uncle Joosie February 25, 2022
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when your frustrated bestie sends Google Hangouts sticker with a clock
Emmet and Salvador were chatting via Hangouts and Sal got a work call; after waiting a few minutes Emmet became impatient and sent a Purple Cat sticker holding a clock. When Sal hung up he saw the sticker and replied "oh I KNOW you didn't just engage in Sticker Scolding, bitch."
by Uncle Joosie August 14, 2020
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Avalanche of concern-troll emails from companies looking to cover they asses
George checked his morning email with a cup of coffee in-hand when a sanguinely worded email came in from TripAdvisor warning him to stay safe. "Oh jeez *another* COVID ConcernGram? my in-box can't handle any more of those!"
by Uncle Joosie March 14, 2020
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when you have a great bowel movement and need to tell your best friends how great it was.
I kept Tiffany in the Poop Loop when I texted her with glee after taking a marvelous shit.
by Uncle Joosie February 5, 2018
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when a Twitter dolt gets ratioed by a factor of 10 or more
Henry quote-tweeted Jacob Wohl and was ratioed to oblivion with 2 retweets and 6K comments
by Uncle Joosie January 14, 2019
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swiping right on Tinder because he'd make a great contestant on Ru Paul's Drag Race
Paul was swiping through Tinder late at night found Bruce, who had tweezed eyebrows and a slim build. when he dropped down to Bruce's Instagram feed he discovered a deeper drag personae and he was forced to swipe right
by Uncle Joosie April 19, 2019
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when racist lunatic donald trump steps to the podium against any sane Democrat and takes a crap on himself
Carla was 10 minutes in watching trump and Joe Biden at the debate and wanted to cram shards of glass in her eyes. "this ain't no discussion about policy; it's a fucking Duhbate!" she then poured a glass of Chardonnay and flipped over to Netflix.
by Uncle Joosie September 30, 2020
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