TheAlwaysCorrect1's definitions

-uh

What drunk female Natives (usually borderline homeless or narcotic addicts) add to the end of a sentence when they’re angry.

“Alright ma’am, your Breathalyzer reads .21, hands behind your back”
DONT FUCKIN TOUCH ME-UHHHH!

by TheAlwaysCorrect1 January 6, 2023

That’s my little monkey

A thing single moms say before showing someone who didn’t ask a picture of their child.

*waiting for meeting to start*
Fat Chick: That’s my little monkey *shows phone to co-worker*
Co-Worker: …

by TheAlwaysCorrect1 January 6, 2023

The little girl in my photo is my niece

A thing females put in their dating profile to not get swiped left on. However, because they wait until the last possible opportunity to say this, it’s already waaayyyyy too late as the guy swiped left after the first photo of them with an infant.

First photo: Her and a 2-year old

Last part of her profile: The little girl in my photo is my niece!!!

by TheAlwaysCorrect1 January 6, 2023

And more!!!

What females put on their dating profile after listing their only 2 hobbies that involve 0 activity to make them not sound boring despite the fact that both of these hobbies are done by themselves.

“I like reading, watching tv, and more!!!“

by TheAlwaysCorrect1 January 6, 2023

Boy it sure is quiet tonight

What suicidal people who work in any branch of medicine (EMTs, nurses, techs, aides, etc) say when they hate their life and all of their coworkers

*finishes a Code Blue call after 46 minutes of CPR*

*staff gets to sit for 30 seconds*

Suicidal Employee: “Maybe it’s just me but, Boy it sure is quiet tonight”
*airplane crashes, school catches on fire, 5 patients have heart attacks, suicide bombing occurs*

by TheAlwaysCorrect1 January 6, 2023

Continental Breakfast

A cheap “breakfast” that CEOs and managers get their employees, paid for with their corporate credit card, and with a copy of the receipt to give to the company so that they can get reimbursed, because god forbid you spend 1/100,000th of your yearly salary on your staff to show that you actually give a rats ass about them. Typically purchased from whichever donut shop is the cheapest (and on their way to work so they don’t need to use an extra $0.90 of gas), this meal is comprised of donuts and/or muffins, fruits, toast, and coffee.

CEO: On Monday we will feature a continental breakfast for the first time in two years to show you all how much we appreciate your hard work that you prioritize over spending time with your family so that you can still afford to pay rent.

by TheAlwaysCorrect1 January 6, 2023

The Lovely Nia

What Bill Burr says in his podcast to notify listeners that it’s probably best to skip the next 30-90 minutes of his podcast because his comedy-killing wife has entered his podcast room and will start cutting his jokes off and interpreting them as statements.

Bill Burr: …and right after that he -- oh look everyone it’s the lovely Nia!

Podcast Listeners: Aiight *turns off podcast*

by TheAlwaysCorrect1 January 6, 2023