The Colonel's definitions

Scotched

A state of mind induced by drinking copious quantites of scotch. Usually can be identified by a happy, mellow feeling at night and a dry mouth the next day.

Don't drive while scotched.

Why go to a bar and drink when you can sit home and get scotched?

by The Colonel December 2, 2004

kookmeyer

Wilbur Kookmeyer, a popular cartoon character from Surfer Magazine. He is the epitome of a kook - can't surf worth a shit and is a complete friendless loser (except for his dog, although you get the impression that his dog thinks he's a kook, too), but loves surfing and thinks of himself as a pro-caliber ripper. Hated by all other surfers and constantly humiliating himself and behaving like, well...a kook.

Huntington Beach is full of kookmeyers, especially all those 30-something dipshits who act like locals but can't really surf worth a shit.

by The Colonel May 11, 2004

baby rattlesnakes

Young punks that are full of testosterone and looking to get into fights.

Dude, the NOFX show was cool but the pit was full of baby rattlesnakes.

by The Colonel July 18, 2003

shit legs

The numbing of one's legs after a lengthy session on the toilet (the toilet seat rim is typical applying pressure to a certain area of the upper leg that can decrease the flow of blood to the legs, causing numbness). The person will typically lose their balance when standing up to either wipe themselves or pull their pants up.

Dude, I took such a long shit this morning that I got shit legs and fell against the wall.

by The Colonel July 18, 2003

klugle

The jamming of one's thumb into the deck of a surfboard - caused by extremely hard surf wax being applied to the board on a cold morning and then catching on the existing wax.

Dude, it was so cold this morning that I got the worst klugle when I was waxing my board. I almost bent my fingernail back.

by The Colonel July 18, 2003

sponge

A boogie board - a soft, spongey flotation device used to ride waves on one's belly.

Look at all the little kids on sponges out in the water.

by The Colonel July 18, 2003

Crinkle Cones

Saline breast implants. Refers to creases in the saline bags which you can actually see on the surface of a woman's breast. Usually seen when a woman is bending over or in any non-vertical position - you'll see lines or creases running along the sides of the breasts (imagine a zip-lock sandwich baggie filled with water). Typically seen as a sign of a low budget breast augmentation procedure, as well as the inferior nature of saline breast implants when compared to silcone.

Dude, that chick at the beach was pretty hot but she had full on crinkle cones.

by The Colonel November 10, 2005