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The Colonel's definitions

Bad Hop

A baseball hit on the ground that takes an unexpected, usually sharp bounce upwards.

While any unexpected movement can be considered a bad hop - off to the side or even some unusual spin on the ball - most bad hops "leap up" suddenly just before reaching the player attempting to field it.

The negative ("bad") nature of the term refers to its difficulty to catch (inherent in catching a ball is successfully being able to predict the ball's exact path or trajectory).

Not only are balls which take a bad hop hard to catch, they are often dangerous and can hit a player in the face or upper body.

Bad hops can be caused by dry or wet spots on the grass or dirt, small rocks or weed clumps, or even tiny imperfections or divits on the surface of the ground.
It looked like a routine play, but the ball took a bad hop off the edge of the grass and hit the shortshop in the eye.
by The Colonel October 29, 2007
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ufobia

Fear of being abducted, or coming in contact with a hostile UFO.
The Colonel interviewed his subjects searching for ufobia in each of their eyes.
by The Colonel July 22, 2015
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Sklabby

Sklabby is the combination of skinny and flabby and refers to women (usually European) women who are skinny and yet also out of shape. In America you typically find two exremes - women who are either big and fat, or women who are skinny and in great shape. In Europe, you won't find many women who are terribly fat, but you also won't find many women who are terribly fit either. A chick may have a small ass, but it'll be jiggly ass - skinny and flabby.
We went to this nice beach in Bali which was covered in Sklabby Euro chicks.
by The Colonel September 27, 2004
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chuck norris

v. to perform a totally cool and violent action, observable by peers

v. to judiciously kick a man, woman, child, or animal's ass

v. to maintain street credibility;
adj. for street cred
Did you see the way Stewart Chuck Norrised that fucking guy's neck? That's awesome.

Phil Chuck Norrised that cat because it gave him a look and walked across the hall.

Did you see the way Travis slapped that bitch? That's Chuck Norris.
by the colonel March 30, 2005
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kookmeyer

Wilbur Kookmeyer, a popular cartoon character from Surfer Magazine. He is the epitome of a kook - can't surf worth a shit and is a complete friendless loser (except for his dog, although you get the impression that his dog thinks he's a kook, too), but loves surfing and thinks of himself as a pro-caliber ripper. Hated by all other surfers and constantly humiliating himself and behaving like, well...a kook.
Huntington Beach is full of kookmeyers, especially all those 30-something dipshits who act like locals but can't really surf worth a shit.
by The Colonel May 11, 2004
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Scotched

A state of mind induced by drinking copious quantites of scotch. Usually can be identified by a happy, mellow feeling at night and a dry mouth the next day.
Don't drive while scotched.

Why go to a bar and drink when you can sit home and get scotched?
by The Colonel December 2, 2004
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webmonkey ash

To vomit profusely after a heavy night out
Oh, I can't believe he just ashed everywhere
by the colonel March 27, 2004
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