n. Reading and viewing material, otherwise known as 'cliterature'.
As Bill Hicks once said "any material devoid of content that induces sexual thoughts. So every advertising campaign on TV. When I'm watching that double-mint commercial 'double the pleasure - double the fun' with those twins; I'm not thinking about gum, that's for fucking sure"
n. similie. A huge twat, akin to Gandalf's cloak in lord of the ring's, from which one could feasibly magically produce a rabbit, a deck of cards and make the empire state building dissapear. See also clown's pocket, welly top
(extra credit to Dogfish)n. The remarkably quick method by which you get home after a night out on the piss, forcing you to remark you had an indelible mode of transport. (N.b. please also be aware of 'beer scooter with a puncture' which is a much slower form of transport, where you start out with speedy intentions; but spend the majority of the night dragging extra equipment attached to your legs)