Stouffer's definitions

wizard's beard

n. also Gandalf's Beard. A very hairy meat pie, where the lips appear to continue down the legs a lot further than normal due to copious amounts of hair.

"It took me ages to reach the beef curtains; I had to wrestle with her wizard's beard first"

by Stouffer November 7, 2002

captain

n. Hardened Cock. Erect Penis. Pan Handle

The captain stood to attention, and entered the ladie's garden.

by Stouffer November 7, 2002

beer scooter

(extra credit to Dogfish)n. The remarkably quick method by which you get home after a night out on the piss, forcing you to remark you had an indelible mode of transport. (N.b. please also be aware of 'beer scooter with a puncture' which is a much slower form of transport, where you start out with speedy intentions; but spend the majority of the night dragging extra equipment attached to your legs)

"How did you get home Sebastian?"

"On a beer scooter"

"Oh"

by stouffer March 4, 2003

arsewinch

n. colloquialism. expletive. see also spankathon. butthinge. annular ring shank

by Stouffer November 7, 2002

annular ring shank

n. colloquialism. expletive. A dick. see also scandinavian pig farmer, arabian cheese manufacturer, rectal cheese wire face

"Fucking annular ring shank motha fucker."

by Stouffer November 7, 2002

mystery taxi

(extra credit to Dogfish)n. similar to beer goggles in their effect on the morning after...but...when you're SO pissed you're SURE the woman you pulled last night was better looking than the bush hog you're lying next to when you wake up.

"holy shit...who the fuck are you? Bollocks, the pretty bird I pulled has been taken away by the Mystery Taxi. Please get out of my home"

by stouffer March 4, 2003

Spadge

Cum, spunk, gentleman's gel, valentines porridge.

"I filled the hairy cup with my spadge."

by Stouffer November 7, 2002