Sam is a Dick's definitions

bling

Proof that wealth can't buy class.

I gotta get into the fake jewelry business, all the retards buying bling I'll never go broke.

by Sam is a Dick October 26, 2006

muff maiden

A lesbian, so called due to their desire to eat muff.

Don't waste your time with that girl, she's a total muff maiden.

by Sam is a Dick October 31, 2006

high-functioning neurotypical

A neurotypical with just enough autistic traits to be tolerable.

These positive traits include:
Not needing to make small talk
Not playing head games
Not playing office politics
Prefering function over prettiness
Not complaining that you hurt their feelings every five seconds
Willingness to discuss things over e-mail rather than phone (bonus points if they prefer this)

In time it is hoped that these neurotypicals might learn to pass for aspie.

This website was designed by a really high-functioning neurotypical, you can tell because it actually works.

by Sam is a Dick October 25, 2006

trophy minority

Typically a white person's one black friend, who they are so proud to know and tend to mention as though they won some kind of prize.

We hung out for a while before I realized I was just a trophy minority.

by Sam is a Dick October 25, 2006

Imus

A massive bowel movement that talks like a crackwhore halway through a botched deep throat and is mentally inferior to my ball bag.

Oy burrito night was brutal, I gotta go take a massive Imus.

by Sam is a Dick March 25, 2007

toss the tuna salad

To eat pussy, so called because it smells like tuna.

Baby I wanna take you home and toss the tuna salad all night.

by Sam is a Dick October 31, 2006

vampire

Something that doesn't exist.

If you say you're a vampire, you're just a fucking idiot.

Joey started calling himself Lord Thisangar and saying he was a vampire. I responded by crushing his windpipe and telling him that if he was really a vampire there's no way that could hurt him.

by Sam is a Dick October 6, 2007