STJosh's definitions
A chubber of a boy who was found on Tatooine by Qui-Gon Jinn. He believed everything he heard deep space pilots say, engaged in dangerous races in spacecraft he claimed to build, believed Jedi could never die, took strange men home with him, developed crushes on hot women twice his age, and was a slave- er- a person, and his name was Anakin.
After Qui-Gon used his force powers to cheat on a dice roll and then influenced the outcome of the race (how else could a kid who's never actually finished the race before WIN against the greatest racers in the galaxy?), Anakin was freed from his slavery.
He was then taken from his mother (who had given birth to him without having slept with any man... YEEEEAAH RIIIIIGHT) to be trained as a Jedi. But apparently, ten was too old to be trained, so he was then taken into the middle of a war on some garden planet that everyone made a big stink about. He accidentally destroyed a Trade Federation ship which none of the elite pilots could get close to doing. Lucky bastard (no really, he was lucky, and he was the the illegitimate offspring of unmarried parents).
He was then taken as the Padawan of Obi-Wan Kenobi (who only trained him because it was the last wish of his dying master Qui-Gon Jinn).
It is important to note in this part of the story that one of Anakin's abilities to age ten years in the same time it takes Obi-Wan to grow a beard.
Both of them do just that while everyone else stays exactly the same.
Anakin resumes his attempted romance with the beautiful Padme, but is turned down as he was when he was ten. But she still had his plastic trinket he made for her! There was still hope!
So Anakin took her from the well-guarded facilities of the Coruscant capital to a primitive country-side where she was virtually unprotected. He did this for her protection of course.
While in the countryside, Anakin's feelings grew for her as her clothes began to become more revealing and tighter with each scene.
Anakin proceeded to say tons of corny crap and talk about dictators, all of which somehow swayed Padme in her feelings, so she began to love him.
Then he kissed her, and got pissed at her about it.
She refused to engage in sexual relations with him and he began whining.
Both then proceed to get captured on a planet across the galaxy, where they profess their undying love to one another right before their execution.
Padme gets cut perfectly across the middle by a rat monster in a way that reveals her bellybutton and abs just right, which completes her skin-tight outfit's appeal, coming close to rivaling Leia's bikini in Return of the Jedi (the right monster should become a Hollywood fashion designer); and Anakin loses an arm.
Both are married.
Then Anakin turned to the dark side over one nightmare in which Padme dies. He did this in an attempt to save Padme, which is kind of ironic considering he later strangles her to near death (but don't worry, in a last minute revision, George Lucas decided that she should die of... lack of will to live? So Anakin's not to blame... apparently).
Anakin got fried after failing to beat his former master (which is kind of funny considering Anakin beat Count Dooku, who Obi-Wan had previously not coming close to even touching, in a minute as well as being the acclaimed 'most powerful Jedi').
I suppose it's cause Obi-Wan had the higher ground.
Anakin then became Darth Vader, and went around blowing up planets.
After Qui-Gon used his force powers to cheat on a dice roll and then influenced the outcome of the race (how else could a kid who's never actually finished the race before WIN against the greatest racers in the galaxy?), Anakin was freed from his slavery.
He was then taken from his mother (who had given birth to him without having slept with any man... YEEEEAAH RIIIIIGHT) to be trained as a Jedi. But apparently, ten was too old to be trained, so he was then taken into the middle of a war on some garden planet that everyone made a big stink about. He accidentally destroyed a Trade Federation ship which none of the elite pilots could get close to doing. Lucky bastard (no really, he was lucky, and he was the the illegitimate offspring of unmarried parents).
He was then taken as the Padawan of Obi-Wan Kenobi (who only trained him because it was the last wish of his dying master Qui-Gon Jinn).
It is important to note in this part of the story that one of Anakin's abilities to age ten years in the same time it takes Obi-Wan to grow a beard.
Both of them do just that while everyone else stays exactly the same.
Anakin resumes his attempted romance with the beautiful Padme, but is turned down as he was when he was ten. But she still had his plastic trinket he made for her! There was still hope!
So Anakin took her from the well-guarded facilities of the Coruscant capital to a primitive country-side where she was virtually unprotected. He did this for her protection of course.
While in the countryside, Anakin's feelings grew for her as her clothes began to become more revealing and tighter with each scene.
Anakin proceeded to say tons of corny crap and talk about dictators, all of which somehow swayed Padme in her feelings, so she began to love him.
Then he kissed her, and got pissed at her about it.
She refused to engage in sexual relations with him and he began whining.
Both then proceed to get captured on a planet across the galaxy, where they profess their undying love to one another right before their execution.
Padme gets cut perfectly across the middle by a rat monster in a way that reveals her bellybutton and abs just right, which completes her skin-tight outfit's appeal, coming close to rivaling Leia's bikini in Return of the Jedi (the right monster should become a Hollywood fashion designer); and Anakin loses an arm.
Both are married.
Then Anakin turned to the dark side over one nightmare in which Padme dies. He did this in an attempt to save Padme, which is kind of ironic considering he later strangles her to near death (but don't worry, in a last minute revision, George Lucas decided that she should die of... lack of will to live? So Anakin's not to blame... apparently).
Anakin got fried after failing to beat his former master (which is kind of funny considering Anakin beat Count Dooku, who Obi-Wan had previously not coming close to even touching, in a minute as well as being the acclaimed 'most powerful Jedi').
I suppose it's cause Obi-Wan had the higher ground.
Anakin then became Darth Vader, and went around blowing up planets.
"I want more, and I know I shouldn't! He's holding me back! No, he's not! He's a great mentor! Like a brother and a father! No, I hate him! He's jealous! He's evil! No, I love him!
I feel as if everything is going wrong!
My loyalty to the emperor and the council leave me feeling torn and conflicted!
Padme, kiss me, or I will feel neglected!"
Geez, man, will this guy ever quit whining?
Anakin Skywalker is Darth Vader. Darth Vader is Luke's daddy.
Oh, and that's a spoiler.
I feel as if everything is going wrong!
My loyalty to the emperor and the council leave me feeling torn and conflicted!
Padme, kiss me, or I will feel neglected!"
Geez, man, will this guy ever quit whining?
Anakin Skywalker is Darth Vader. Darth Vader is Luke's daddy.
Oh, and that's a spoiler.
by STJosh May 15, 2007
Get the Anakin Skywalkermug. An overweight older child who is not quite obese, but certainly getting there.
Also has fat mostly developed in cheeks (buttock and facial) and chest area. This fat is usually flabbier than that of an actually obese child, and therefore the chubber jiggles a lot when it moves (even when talking), and therefore becomes the primary target of insults and cruel mockery among the neighborhood children.
Also has fat mostly developed in cheeks (buttock and facial) and chest area. This fat is usually flabbier than that of an actually obese child, and therefore the chubber jiggles a lot when it moves (even when talking), and therefore becomes the primary target of insults and cruel mockery among the neighborhood children.
That boy over there is having a tough time running around the bases. Oh, I wish his parents would buy him looser clothes or put him on a diet. It must be so embarrassing to be such a chubber.
by STJosh May 1, 2007
Get the chubbermug. 1) A major part of the carbon cycle that has helped properly regulate the temperatures of earth and the CO2 levels within earth's atmosphere for quite some time and won't just break because a few humans start driving SUVs and cooking on charcoal grills.
2) The confounded and/or irritated look on someone's face when you tell that "What color is a purple house?" "Purple" "What color is a blue house?" "Blue" "What color is a green house?" "Green" "WRONG! It's clear!" joke, because green houses are actually quite green, and they hate you for telling such a stupid joke.
Next time, stick with "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
2) The confounded and/or irritated look on someone's face when you tell that "What color is a purple house?" "Purple" "What color is a blue house?" "Blue" "What color is a green house?" "Green" "WRONG! It's clear!" joke, because green houses are actually quite green, and they hate you for telling such a stupid joke.
Next time, stick with "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
by STJosh May 15, 2007
Get the greenhouse effectmug. by STJosh May 5, 2007
Get the Golden Globemug. 1) A multi-gender term. Mostly used to describe womenish men, but very often defines women who attract quite a few preteen girls and are thus believed to be men.
2) Someone who looks gay, acts gay, sounds gay, and smells gay; but, for some bizarre reason, isn't.
3) An actor with no talent who gains roles based on either a previously very successful film (carried entirely by talented actors, and still nearly destroyed by him) or his massive preteen girl fanbase (an Orlando Bloom fangirl can be defined by her ugly face, forty half-naked posters of the "actor", Myspace dominated by various media centered on Orlando Bloom, squealing, grunting, and her knack for arguing in the defense of Orlando Bloom in all situations- especially his sexual preferences- and votes 'down' on all Urban Dictionary entries stating the truth about him, like this one.)
2) Someone who looks gay, acts gay, sounds gay, and smells gay; but, for some bizarre reason, isn't.
3) An actor with no talent who gains roles based on either a previously very successful film (carried entirely by talented actors, and still nearly destroyed by him) or his massive preteen girl fanbase (an Orlando Bloom fangirl can be defined by her ugly face, forty half-naked posters of the "actor", Myspace dominated by various media centered on Orlando Bloom, squealing, grunting, and her knack for arguing in the defense of Orlando Bloom in all situations- especially his sexual preferences- and votes 'down' on all Urban Dictionary entries stating the truth about him, like this one.)
1) Squeee! Orlando Bloom! She's so hot!
2) "Should we Orlando Bloom this film?" "Sure, Ang Lee, whatever you want."
2) "Should we Orlando Bloom this film?" "Sure, Ang Lee, whatever you want."
by STJosh April 14, 2007
Get the orlando bloommug. 1) To cheat your way out of giving someone promised action or items.
2) A dead body.
3) Something rigid and hard to move.
4) To fail to live up to your end of a bargain.
5) A tightwad.
6) Someone who is obnoxiously lazy and rudely boring.
2) A dead body.
3) Something rigid and hard to move.
4) To fail to live up to your end of a bargain.
5) A tightwad.
6) Someone who is obnoxiously lazy and rudely boring.
He won't pay for half the meal despite declaring he would pay for the whole thing beforehand? What a stiff!
by STJosh May 15, 2007
Get the stiffmug.