13 definitions by STJosh
A chubber of a boy who was found on Tatooine by Qui-Gon Jinn. He believed everything he heard deep space pilots say, engaged in dangerous races in spacecraft he claimed to build, believed Jedi could never die, took strange men home with him, developed crushes on hot women twice his age, and was a slave- er- a person, and his name was Anakin.
After Qui-Gon used his force powers to cheat on a dice roll and then influenced the outcome of the race (how else could a kid who's never actually finished the race before WIN against the greatest racers in the galaxy?), Anakin was freed from his slavery.
He was then taken from his mother (who had given birth to him without having slept with any man... YEEEEAAH RIIIIIGHT) to be trained as a Jedi. But apparently, ten was too old to be trained, so he was then taken into the middle of a war on some garden planet that everyone made a big stink about. He accidentally destroyed a Trade Federation ship which none of the elite pilots could get close to doing. Lucky bastard (no really, he was lucky, and he was the the illegitimate offspring of unmarried parents).
He was then taken as the Padawan of Obi-Wan Kenobi (who only trained him because it was the last wish of his dying master Qui-Gon Jinn).
It is important to note in this part of the story that one of Anakin's abilities to age ten years in the same time it takes Obi-Wan to grow a beard.
Both of them do just that while everyone else stays exactly the same.
Anakin resumes his attempted romance with the beautiful Padme, but is turned down as he was when he was ten. But she still had his plastic trinket he made for her! There was still hope!
So Anakin took her from the well-guarded facilities of the Coruscant capital to a primitive country-side where she was virtually unprotected. He did this for her protection of course.
While in the countryside, Anakin's feelings grew for her as her clothes began to become more revealing and tighter with each scene.
Anakin proceeded to say tons of corny crap and talk about dictators, all of which somehow swayed Padme in her feelings, so she began to love him.
Then he kissed her, and got pissed at her about it.
She refused to engage in sexual relations with him and he began whining.
Both then proceed to get captured on a planet across the galaxy, where they profess their undying love to one another right before their execution.
Padme gets cut perfectly across the middle by a rat monster in a way that reveals her bellybutton and abs just right, which completes her skin-tight outfit's appeal, coming close to rivaling Leia's bikini in Return of the Jedi (the right monster should become a Hollywood fashion designer); and Anakin loses an arm.
Both are married.
Then Anakin turned to the dark side over one nightmare in which Padme dies. He did this in an attempt to save Padme, which is kind of ironic considering he later strangles her to near death (but don't worry, in a last minute revision, George Lucas decided that she should die of... lack of will to live? So Anakin's not to blame... apparently).
Anakin got fried after failing to beat his former master (which is kind of funny considering Anakin beat Count Dooku, who Obi-Wan had previously not coming close to even touching, in a minute as well as being the acclaimed 'most powerful Jedi').
I suppose it's cause Obi-Wan had the higher ground.
Anakin then became Darth Vader, and went around blowing up planets.
After Qui-Gon used his force powers to cheat on a dice roll and then influenced the outcome of the race (how else could a kid who's never actually finished the race before WIN against the greatest racers in the galaxy?), Anakin was freed from his slavery.
He was then taken from his mother (who had given birth to him without having slept with any man... YEEEEAAH RIIIIIGHT) to be trained as a Jedi. But apparently, ten was too old to be trained, so he was then taken into the middle of a war on some garden planet that everyone made a big stink about. He accidentally destroyed a Trade Federation ship which none of the elite pilots could get close to doing. Lucky bastard (no really, he was lucky, and he was the the illegitimate offspring of unmarried parents).
He was then taken as the Padawan of Obi-Wan Kenobi (who only trained him because it was the last wish of his dying master Qui-Gon Jinn).
It is important to note in this part of the story that one of Anakin's abilities to age ten years in the same time it takes Obi-Wan to grow a beard.
Both of them do just that while everyone else stays exactly the same.
Anakin resumes his attempted romance with the beautiful Padme, but is turned down as he was when he was ten. But she still had his plastic trinket he made for her! There was still hope!
So Anakin took her from the well-guarded facilities of the Coruscant capital to a primitive country-side where she was virtually unprotected. He did this for her protection of course.
While in the countryside, Anakin's feelings grew for her as her clothes began to become more revealing and tighter with each scene.
Anakin proceeded to say tons of corny crap and talk about dictators, all of which somehow swayed Padme in her feelings, so she began to love him.
Then he kissed her, and got pissed at her about it.
She refused to engage in sexual relations with him and he began whining.
Both then proceed to get captured on a planet across the galaxy, where they profess their undying love to one another right before their execution.
Padme gets cut perfectly across the middle by a rat monster in a way that reveals her bellybutton and abs just right, which completes her skin-tight outfit's appeal, coming close to rivaling Leia's bikini in Return of the Jedi (the right monster should become a Hollywood fashion designer); and Anakin loses an arm.
Both are married.
Then Anakin turned to the dark side over one nightmare in which Padme dies. He did this in an attempt to save Padme, which is kind of ironic considering he later strangles her to near death (but don't worry, in a last minute revision, George Lucas decided that she should die of... lack of will to live? So Anakin's not to blame... apparently).
Anakin got fried after failing to beat his former master (which is kind of funny considering Anakin beat Count Dooku, who Obi-Wan had previously not coming close to even touching, in a minute as well as being the acclaimed 'most powerful Jedi').
I suppose it's cause Obi-Wan had the higher ground.
Anakin then became Darth Vader, and went around blowing up planets.
"I want more, and I know I shouldn't! He's holding me back! No, he's not! He's a great mentor! Like a brother and a father! No, I hate him! He's jealous! He's evil! No, I love him!
I feel as if everything is going wrong!
My loyalty to the emperor and the council leave me feeling torn and conflicted!
Padme, kiss me, or I will feel neglected!"
Geez, man, will this guy ever quit whining?
Anakin Skywalker is Darth Vader. Darth Vader is Luke's daddy.
Oh, and that's a spoiler.
I feel as if everything is going wrong!
My loyalty to the emperor and the council leave me feeling torn and conflicted!
Padme, kiss me, or I will feel neglected!"
Geez, man, will this guy ever quit whining?
Anakin Skywalker is Darth Vader. Darth Vader is Luke's daddy.
Oh, and that's a spoiler.
by STJosh May 2, 2007
by STJosh April 26, 2007
A small group of some who are some of the most hypocritical people around, which is rather ironic considering how many times per day they call religious people hypocrites.
They're also incredibly arrogant, believing they're right and everyone else is wrong, which is also incredibly ironic, considering this is the exact same thing they say about religious peoples.
The group consists mostly of whiny teenagers, such as most of the kids on this site, who really have no idea what the facts are, but believe they're cool and "hardcore" for turning away from the religious beliefs of the majority. These are the ones who constantly say they believe in "science over religion" despite constantly flunking their biology exams.
They're infamous for having no original arguments, always just using whatever their god, Richard Dawkins, says, without having any idea what it means.
Their favorite hobby is bringing up the crusade as an example for why religion is bad, making themselves look like the ignorant morons they are (they've never actually read any actually factual accounts of history, in which they'd learn that the majority of the crusaders couldn't even read the Bible and mainly did what they did for wealth, not their incredibly distorted image of God).
Atheists love to bunch all religions in the world into one little ball called "religion" that they blame for all the problems in the world.
Talk about throwing the baby out with the bathwater.
They also like to say that Christianity is incompatible with science and that science disproves Christianity.
They also say that religion holds back the advancement of science.
Let's just ignore the fact that Newton (who said all his inspiration for his discoveries came from the Bible and God), Galileo, Kepler, and Bacon were all Christians. Why, even Benjamin Franklin was a deists (though hardly religious).
Only a moron would say that our advancement in science has come about by atheism.
Basically, while there are some nice and intelligent atheists, the majority are unintelligent, Dawkins-worshipping, rebellious, whiny children who lack the ability to comprehend half the things they quote as 'fact'.
They're also incredibly arrogant, believing they're right and everyone else is wrong, which is also incredibly ironic, considering this is the exact same thing they say about religious peoples.
The group consists mostly of whiny teenagers, such as most of the kids on this site, who really have no idea what the facts are, but believe they're cool and "hardcore" for turning away from the religious beliefs of the majority. These are the ones who constantly say they believe in "science over religion" despite constantly flunking their biology exams.
They're infamous for having no original arguments, always just using whatever their god, Richard Dawkins, says, without having any idea what it means.
Their favorite hobby is bringing up the crusade as an example for why religion is bad, making themselves look like the ignorant morons they are (they've never actually read any actually factual accounts of history, in which they'd learn that the majority of the crusaders couldn't even read the Bible and mainly did what they did for wealth, not their incredibly distorted image of God).
Atheists love to bunch all religions in the world into one little ball called "religion" that they blame for all the problems in the world.
Talk about throwing the baby out with the bathwater.
They also like to say that Christianity is incompatible with science and that science disproves Christianity.
They also say that religion holds back the advancement of science.
Let's just ignore the fact that Newton (who said all his inspiration for his discoveries came from the Bible and God), Galileo, Kepler, and Bacon were all Christians. Why, even Benjamin Franklin was a deists (though hardly religious).
Only a moron would say that our advancement in science has come about by atheism.
Basically, while there are some nice and intelligent atheists, the majority are unintelligent, Dawkins-worshipping, rebellious, whiny children who lack the ability to comprehend half the things they quote as 'fact'.
The children who claim to be 'atheists' on this site will vote 'no' on this entry, because they are either insecure in their pitiful intellects or arrogant in their defiance of concepts they don't even understand.
by STJosh August 29, 2007
1) A major part of the carbon cycle that has helped properly regulate the temperatures of earth and the CO2 levels within earth's atmosphere for quite some time and won't just break because a few humans start driving SUVs and cooking on charcoal grills.
2) The confounded and/or irritated look on someone's face when you tell that "What color is a purple house?" "Purple" "What color is a blue house?" "Blue" "What color is a green house?" "Green" "WRONG! It's clear!" joke, because green houses are actually quite green, and they hate you for telling such a stupid joke.
Next time, stick with "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
2) The confounded and/or irritated look on someone's face when you tell that "What color is a purple house?" "Purple" "What color is a blue house?" "Blue" "What color is a green house?" "Green" "WRONG! It's clear!" joke, because green houses are actually quite green, and they hate you for telling such a stupid joke.
Next time, stick with "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
by STJosh May 2, 2007
1) When your girlfriend or mother makes you carry all of her shopping. Even if it's only three ounces, it's way too heavy.
2) When the events of the day make you feel suicidal, but you're too wiped out to put yourself out of your misery.
3) When your RPG character can no longer move due to having an absurd amount of stuff in his tiny backpack.
Note: Some RPGs are gracious enough to allow you to move slowly while over encumbered, but it's so slow you might as well be standing still.
2) When the events of the day make you feel suicidal, but you're too wiped out to put yourself out of your misery.
3) When your RPG character can no longer move due to having an absurd amount of stuff in his tiny backpack.
Note: Some RPGs are gracious enough to allow you to move slowly while over encumbered, but it's so slow you might as well be standing still.
"Crap, man, I'm over encumbered."
"Well, leave the iron hammer."
"No way! That item is vital to a later side-quest. I'm not coming all the way back to these caves to get it."
"Well, leave the shield. You can pick up another at Cloud Ruler Temple."
"Nah, I'll need that for getting out of this cave alive."
"Drop the gem then. It'll be just enough to put you under the weight limit."
"Man, this thing's worth 2,300 gold! I'm not just gonna drop it."
"Then quit playing Oblivion and go outside and get some fresh air."
"Well, leave the iron hammer."
"No way! That item is vital to a later side-quest. I'm not coming all the way back to these caves to get it."
"Well, leave the shield. You can pick up another at Cloud Ruler Temple."
"Nah, I'll need that for getting out of this cave alive."
"Drop the gem then. It'll be just enough to put you under the weight limit."
"Man, this thing's worth 2,300 gold! I'm not just gonna drop it."
"Then quit playing Oblivion and go outside and get some fresh air."
by STJosh April 24, 2007
A scientist infamous for being the most arrogant and biased intellectual in the world and largely for his devoted army of unintelligent fanboys, who will most likely vote down on this entry and all others that speak poorly of.
Richard Dawkins: "The crusades are a perfect example of how religion hurts the world."
Child: "But nearly all the crusaders hadn't even read the Bible. They were mostly in it to gain wealth, led by power-hungry popes who twisted religion for their advantage. They would've used other means to get people to do their bidding if religion didn't exist."
Richard Dawkins: "Nonsense. Atheists have never hurt anyone."
Child: "Oh. You must be forgetting Joseph Stalin and Mao Zedong, two of the most infamous mass-murders and oppressive dictators in history. Don't worry, you've just got a less evolved mind."
Richard Dawkins: "But- but- The World Trade Centers! That happened because of religious teachings!"
Child: "Wow. One sour apple. One group. Let's just throw the baby out with the bath water. If one religion has malicious teachings, all religions must be evil. Riiiight..."
Richard Dawkins is a perfect example of why the dark ages came about. Arrogant and selfish men who made stuff up to get millions to do their bidding, while everyone else suffers (except rather than religion, he calls it "survival of the fittest").
Fortunately, Richard Dawkins is too fixed on destroying religion with twisted and made up facts to do anything else. Otherwise he'd be busy getting slavery reinstated, executing the disabled, and earning an honest living.
Child: "But nearly all the crusaders hadn't even read the Bible. They were mostly in it to gain wealth, led by power-hungry popes who twisted religion for their advantage. They would've used other means to get people to do their bidding if religion didn't exist."
Richard Dawkins: "Nonsense. Atheists have never hurt anyone."
Child: "Oh. You must be forgetting Joseph Stalin and Mao Zedong, two of the most infamous mass-murders and oppressive dictators in history. Don't worry, you've just got a less evolved mind."
Richard Dawkins: "But- but- The World Trade Centers! That happened because of religious teachings!"
Child: "Wow. One sour apple. One group. Let's just throw the baby out with the bath water. If one religion has malicious teachings, all religions must be evil. Riiiight..."
Richard Dawkins is a perfect example of why the dark ages came about. Arrogant and selfish men who made stuff up to get millions to do their bidding, while everyone else suffers (except rather than religion, he calls it "survival of the fittest").
Fortunately, Richard Dawkins is too fixed on destroying religion with twisted and made up facts to do anything else. Otherwise he'd be busy getting slavery reinstated, executing the disabled, and earning an honest living.
by STJosh September 27, 2007
A person, usually female, who thinks they are destined for a life of fame and fortune.
They spend their high school years telling everyone how they have it made and have no doubts that they will become the next biggest thing to hit Hollywood.
These people are usually very close too good looking (though not quite hot), and this fuels their ideas of stardom.
They lack all talent, and are usually academic failures (despite telling everyone "I get good grades and get along fine in school").
Upon graduation they go around telling friends how they're headed to Hollywood to become supermodels and superstars.
However, one year, one road trip across America or Europe with three of their closest equally hollywoolheaded blond friends, one failed marriage, and one hundred rejection letters later, they are either working the grill at a fast food restaurant without any hope of a successful future (having not tried for a decent education and now being penniless) or working the streets as a prostitute (using what good lucks they have to earn fifty bucks each night until they get old and are forced to live off government welfare while caring for two children who both hate her and are seriously strung out on drugs.
They spend their high school years telling everyone how they have it made and have no doubts that they will become the next biggest thing to hit Hollywood.
These people are usually very close too good looking (though not quite hot), and this fuels their ideas of stardom.
They lack all talent, and are usually academic failures (despite telling everyone "I get good grades and get along fine in school").
Upon graduation they go around telling friends how they're headed to Hollywood to become supermodels and superstars.
However, one year, one road trip across America or Europe with three of their closest equally hollywoolheaded blond friends, one failed marriage, and one hundred rejection letters later, they are either working the grill at a fast food restaurant without any hope of a successful future (having not tried for a decent education and now being penniless) or working the streets as a prostitute (using what good lucks they have to earn fifty bucks each night until they get old and are forced to live off government welfare while caring for two children who both hate her and are seriously strung out on drugs.
"Beth, Tiffany, Leah, Jessica, Julia, Jake, Josh, Dave, and Tyler are all such hollywoolheads!"
"What's worse is all their friends encourage it, so they walk around thinking they're gods."
"Don't worry, guys, while we're making $75k+ a year they'll be living off welfare in a rundown, rat-infested apartment in downtime Los Angeles, regretting every decision they ever made."
"Yeah, and will be our tax dollars supporting them, so they'll STILL be bugging us."
"What's worse is all their friends encourage it, so they walk around thinking they're gods."
"Don't worry, guys, while we're making $75k+ a year they'll be living off welfare in a rundown, rat-infested apartment in downtime Los Angeles, regretting every decision they ever made."
"Yeah, and will be our tax dollars supporting them, so they'll STILL be bugging us."
by STJosh April 24, 2007