PDXJohnny99's definitions

Wowch

Typical reaction when someone does something to themselves that is completely painful yet insanely cool.

Boggs: My buddy got Converse All Stars shoes tattooed on both his feet.
Goz: What the shit? His whole feet?
Boggs: Fuck yeah! His feet look like two pairs of Chucks.
Goz: Wowch! That is soooo gnarley, no pain no gain!

by PDXJohnny99 May 6, 2013

aggrovention

An intervention by family and friends with the intent of reaching out emotionally to a troubled individual, but it goes terribly wrong and ends up in possible arguments, anger, vulgarities, screaming, fist-fights, and visits to the nearest emergency room.

Uncle Bobby's intervention didn't go well this morning. We started with a prayer and it turned out he was on PCP and punched Aunt Angie in the face and kicked his buddy Mike in the groin. Then he grabbed their dog Ladie and dropkicked it across the living room. It turned out to be a fucking aggrovention.

by PDXJohnny99 April 14, 2013

Throne-ite

Nickname for 'Game of Thrones' fans, an HBO show based on the epic fantasy A Song of Ice and Fire by George R.R. Martin.

I never in the world thought I would ever watch a Game of Thrones episode. But I did... and now I've been hooked for two years. Its like smoking a Middle Earth crackpipe! I'm so addicted to this show... I can now say I am a true Throne-ite!

by PDXJohnny99 April 14, 2013

puppy parkour

Parkour: holistic training for humans.
Puppy: a young doggie, a spaz.

When you get an untrained puppy and the motherfucker goes completely batshit insane every waking moment.

Jaylene: oh... I'm so glad school is out. Let's watch tv. 
BOOM! 
Jane: what was that?? 
Jaylene: oh... my new puppy. Bouncing off a wall.... or the couch... or... 
Jane: I haven't seen him yet... 
Jaylene: Every minute or so he'll hit a wall and slide down. That's the best time to see him. 
BAAMMM! 
Jaylene: Puppy Parkour... what can I say? 
Jane: What breed is he? 
Jaylene: Part Chihuahua... part Pug.... part retard. He's a designer breed.

by PDXJohnny99 April 28, 2013

Phone stroke

Whenever your cell phone suddenly dies during a text session, conversation, or any mode of communication due to battery malfunction or technical malfunction. Thus causing a period of time of uncertainty in the minds of the people you had been communicating with while the phone either stays powerless or while it reboots and reconnects.

Dave: Sorry I my phone died. I couldn't turn it on my battery fuckin' died and I had no way to call you back.
Colin: Uh... that was two days ago.
Dave: Phone stroke. It was totally down.. Lost my my charger.

Colin: Two days, dude.
Dave: Yeah. Sorry. Nothing I could do. Fucking phone stroke. Had to buy a new charger.
Colin: Well, anyway, I managed to escape from the satanic cult yesterday, but thanks for calling me back today. Glad your phone is back up.

by PDXJohnny99 April 16, 2013

pill roulette

When a doctor tests certain medications on a patient, but actually worsens the problem through trial and error.

Micky: my doc put me on antidepressants... but it actually made me suicidal... so he put me on another kind and now don't give shit about anything... so now he thinks I need a different kind... I feel like a lab rat!

Mallory: Sounds like pill roulette to me.

by PDXJohnny99 April 10, 2013

Dirt Dumb

Basically, the dumbest of the dumbest. Dumb as dirt.

Loyd is dirt dumb. He dropped his toilet paper roll in the toilet and put it in the microwave to dry it and burned the entire goddamn trailer park down. Dirt dumb.

by pdxjohnny99 March 27, 2016