Parkour: holistic training for humans.
Puppy: a young doggie, a spaz.
When you get an untrained puppy and the motherfucker goes completely batshit insane every waking moment.
Jaylene: oh... I'm so glad school is out. Let's watch tv.
Jane: what was that??
Jaylene: oh... my new puppy. Bouncing off a wall.... or the couch... or...
Jane: I haven't seen him yet...
Jaylene: Every minute or so he'll hit a wall and slide down. That's the best time to see him.
Jaylene: Puppy Parkour... what can I say?
Jane: What breed is he?
Jaylene: Part Chihuahua... part Pug.... part retard. He's a designer breed.
An intervention by family and friends with the intent of reaching out emotionally to a troubled individual, but it goes terribly wrong and ends up in possible arguments, anger, vulgarities, screaming, fist-fights, and visits to the nearest emergency room.
Uncle Bobby's intervention didn't go well this morning. We started with a prayer and it turned out he was on PCP and punched Aunt Angie in the face and kicked his buddy Mike in the groin. Then he grabbed their dog Ladie and dropkicked it across the living room. It turned out to be a fucking aggrovention.
Someone that loves loves LOVES Converse All Stars shoes. The widely used nickname for a pair of Converse is Chucks, shortened from Chuck Taylor. Thus, they are a Chucklover.
Benny: I like your kicks, dood.
Baker: You know why I love Chucks so much? Because everyone wears them and they're still respected. They're like the Rolling Stones of sneakers. Or the Scarface of sneakers. Skaters wear them, Cholos wear them, thugs, taggers, rappers, punks, metal heads, graf writers, hipsters, nerdists, hippies, yuppies, celebrities, artists, gangbangers...
Benny: Dooood, I get it... they're widely respected.
Baker: Another reason I love Chucks is that they're immortal. Like vampires. They have stayed the same since their inception; for almost a hundred years, and they still look the same now. And in another hundred years they still won't change. When humans start colonizing on other planets... they'll be wearing Chucks just like ours.
Benny: Doooood. You are a...motherfucking... Chucklover.
Any fan of zombie films, shows, books, games, etc. Usually in association with the post-Night of the Living Dead era, aka George Romero zombies, aka RomZoms; and not classic voodoo zombies.
Danny is a true zombite. He has every issue of the Walking Dead. He has every Romero film on vhs, laser disc, bluray and dvd.
But his Uncle Harold was the biggest zombite he ever met. Uncle Harold invented a sexual position called "zombie-style". He's divorced now.
Every Thanksgiving he would stuff the turkey with pig guts and fake blood and he and the children would tear the turkey apart with their barehands. He has lost custody of the children.
He used to fake-bite coworkers on the neck in bathrooms or elevators. He's now unemployed.
For two years straight he was first place in the state Zombie Run. Now he's banned because of doping.
Derived from the phrase "As American as hot dogs and apple pie". Both hotdogs and Hip Hop were originated in America, Hip Hop started in the South Bronx.
Once there was a street artist who got busted by a cop. The intricate graffiti was displaying George W. Bush as a mass murderer, with a chainsaw, attacking cripples and little nerd children. And then the cop went ape shit. Or... pig shit.
Cop: This is filthy! Like a wall of... turds! Filthy! You're bashing The Dubbya.
Graf Writer: Its symbolic. It shows Bush killing all the innocents... with this war that cousin-fucking hillbilly started.
Cop: You little... spraypaintin'... turd! You are Un-American!! Bashin' the Dubbya!
Graf Writer: I'm as American as hot dogs and Hip Hop.
Someone who absoulutely loves rainy or cloudy weather.
Johnny lives in Portland because he loves loves loves the rain. It cheers him up. He is a rainiac.
Extreme rainiacs sit in the shower with an umbrella when rainy season is over.
Someone who needs or tends to leave the television on to help them sleep. Usually rerunning a movie or tv show they've seen so many times to comfort (or bore) them to sleep.
Dave: Your wife Rhonda watches the same freakin' movie every night. Why?
Brent: It makes her fall asleep...and now it makes me fall asleep cuz its freakin' mind-numbing.
Dave: Dear God... I'm surrounded by tube snoozers.