15 definitions by Mjolnir12982

Top Definition
The sensation that one's sphincter is actually aflame, usually occurring after eating bad tex-mex, taking a really nasty shit, or pulling the Steve-O Bottle Rocket stunt from JACKASS NUMBER TWO...
GUY1: Dude, why did I have to go to Chipotle on my lunch break? Now I've got to sit through this board meeting with my heinous anus! My Asshole must look like a cigarette burn on the Sunday morning comics!
by Mjolnir12982 April 18, 2010

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When having vaginal sex in the doggy style position, the guy inserts his index finger into her asshole, removing a globule of shit. When she turs around to ask what the fuck he thinks he is doing, he attempts to paint a line from the closest side of her face down the length of her body. Extra points if he makes it to her ankle before she presses charges.
Bro 1: Dude, you and Krista are still down for that 5fdp show Friday, right?

Bro 2: Nah. I gave her the old Himalayan Pinstripe the other day, so we are done, I am broke from posting bail, and the judge said I couldn't leave the county...
by Mjolnir12982 June 15, 2016

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A method of suicide where one chases a fewe oxycodones with liquor before putting his/her ass over their head (satellite dish position), bulldogging a bottle of NyQuil rectally, and masturbating furiously to achieve orgasm before brain death. So named because one'side face will have the same blank expression as Terri Schiavo before the court ordered her feeding tube removed when their body is discovered.
After JI'm lost his job, life savings, wife, kids, and house in the divorce, he decided to pull a Drowsy Schiavo and get beamed up like Anton Yelchin.
by Mjolnir12982 August 31, 2016

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The feeling one gets when their asshole is stretched to excess by what is passing through it, either on the way out, or the way in. Characterized by a change in the walking motion of the sufferer, constant digging or checking in the ass, or if seated on a park bench or open car trunk, the actual anus hanging out
CANDY: You ok, Cindy? You look like you're in pain...
CINDY: I ate a lot of popcorn when we saw CLASH OF THE TITANS and got constipated, so I just unleashed the Kraken and now I have a bronc-anus...

DAMON: Mike, stop sitting on the trunk latch of your car. Your Bronc-Anus is hanging out. You have a lot of buttsex or something?
MIKE: In prison such decisions aren't always yours to make...
by Mjolnir12982 April 18, 2010

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When you have a dream that you are a big, plump, steamy, juicy hotdog, so big and plump that the bun will not close around you. Then you realize that ketchup is sliding out the end of the bun, and then you wake up incarcerated, and your cellmate's chin is resting on your shoulder while he's fucking you up the asshole...

Hey, in prison such choices aren't always yours to make.
Jim got himself locked up and had the hotdog Dream. Now he can't shit without it looking like a Swiss cake roll.
by Mjolnir12982 September 04, 2016

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The act of quickly making one's way to the toilet with one or both legs completely locked at all joints in an effort to compress the rectum/anus, and avoid dropping a mondo shit in one's pants (see chocolate shotgun, shart, or shitney spears). Most frequently occurs within 15 mins of eating a hot pocket, or Chipotle.
I told Linda that chorizo looked suspect! Now we can trace her deadleg shit shuffle by following the brown trail!
by Mjolnir12982 August 18, 2016

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This one's for the ladies!

Hide a bottle, dildo, or other phallic object in the sheets of your bed. Then initiate sexytime with your man. You'Lloyd need to ride his dick in reverse cowgirl position. Then, right as he'said about to bust his nut, tell him not to pull out, and that you'll "Casey Anthony" the kid after it's out! When he starts to say "What the fuck???", rapidly shove your hidden phallus up his ass an pull it out like you'really starting a chainsaw! Hilarity ensues!
My girl gave me the Filthy Munchausen last week... I haven't had a proper shit in days.
by Mjolnir12982 September 23, 2016

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