Mjolnir12982's definitions
When you have a dream that you are a big, plump, steamy, juicy hotdog, so big and plump that the bun will not close around you. Then you realize that ketchup is sliding out the end of the bun, and then you wake up incarcerated, and your cellmate's chin is resting on your shoulder while he's fucking you up the asshole...
Hey, in prison such choices aren't always yours to make.
Hey, in prison such choices aren't always yours to make.
Jim got himself locked up and had the hotdog Dream. Now he can't shit without it looking like a Swiss cake roll.
by Mjolnir12982 September 4, 2016
Get the Hotdog Dreammug. The feeling one gets when their asshole is stretched to excess by what is passing through it, either on the way out, or the way in. Characterized by a change in the walking motion of the sufferer, constant digging or checking in the ass, or if seated on a park bench or open car trunk, the actual anus hanging out
CANDY: You ok, Cindy? You look like you're in pain...
CINDY: I ate a lot of popcorn when we saw CLASH OF THE TITANS and got constipated, so I just unleashed the Kraken and now I have a bronc-anus...
DAMON: Mike, stop sitting on the trunk latch of your car. Your Bronc-Anus is hanging out. You have a lot of buttsex or something?
MIKE: In prison such decisions aren't always yours to make...
CINDY: I ate a lot of popcorn when we saw CLASH OF THE TITANS and got constipated, so I just unleashed the Kraken and now I have a bronc-anus...
DAMON: Mike, stop sitting on the trunk latch of your car. Your Bronc-Anus is hanging out. You have a lot of buttsex or something?
MIKE: In prison such decisions aren't always yours to make...
by Mjolnir12982 April 18, 2010
Get the Bronc-Anusmug. The act of quickly making one's way to the toilet with one or both legs completely locked at all joints in an effort to compress the rectum/anus, and avoid dropping a mondo shit in one's pants (see chocolate shotgun, shart, or shitney spears). Most frequently occurs within 15 mins of eating a hot pocket, or Chipotle.
I told Linda that chorizo looked suspect! Now we can trace her deadleg shit shuffle by following the brown trail!
by Mjolnir12982 August 18, 2016
Get the Deadleg shit shufflemug. Derived from the term Blitzkrieg, or lightning war in German, to verbally Blitzkrieg somebody is to attack them in in machine-gun repetition who is the most brutal insults you can muster at any given point in time, not pausing to take a breath, or allow your opponent a word edgewise. The name is of course derived from the strategy of shock Warfare tactics utilized by the Nazis in World War II period however no one actually dies during a verbal Blitzkrieg, but the goal is to make the other person wish they were dead.
Guy 1: (tells boring bullshit story,)
Guy 2: you know that story actually reminds me of the last time I was fucking your mother? I was one of the first guys in line so she hadn't been used up yet, anywho... I decided at that point to go ass to pussy, and I remember thinking to myself distinctly that her pussy was so fucking tight, no fucking way of baby came out of there no fucking way, you're adopted dude. Then her sibilance, would you tasted like hot dog water by the way, spattered me about the face so I reach back the fucking Florida and pimp slap that bitch in the middle of Nebraska just like the Avenue where I picked her up for the gangbang for a crack rock and hit a crystal meth in 20 bucks. And after that I told her how much I just wish that she had either swallowed you or made like you were her car keys locked inside of her Sentra and pulled you out with a coat hanger.
Guy 1: okay enough with the verbal Blitzkrieg, I'll stop telling the fucking story.
Guy 2: you know that story actually reminds me of the last time I was fucking your mother? I was one of the first guys in line so she hadn't been used up yet, anywho... I decided at that point to go ass to pussy, and I remember thinking to myself distinctly that her pussy was so fucking tight, no fucking way of baby came out of there no fucking way, you're adopted dude. Then her sibilance, would you tasted like hot dog water by the way, spattered me about the face so I reach back the fucking Florida and pimp slap that bitch in the middle of Nebraska just like the Avenue where I picked her up for the gangbang for a crack rock and hit a crystal meth in 20 bucks. And after that I told her how much I just wish that she had either swallowed you or made like you were her car keys locked inside of her Sentra and pulled you out with a coat hanger.
Guy 1: okay enough with the verbal Blitzkrieg, I'll stop telling the fucking story.
by Mjolnir12982 June 13, 2017
Get the verbal blitzkriegmug. The sensation that one's sphincter is actually aflame, usually occurring after eating bad tex-mex, taking a really nasty shit, or pulling the Steve-O Bottle Rocket stunt from JACKASS NUMBER TWO...
GUY1: Dude, why did I have to go to Chipotle on my lunch break? Now I've got to sit through this board meeting with my heinous anus! My Asshole must look like a cigarette burn on the Sunday morning comics!
by Mjolnir12982 April 18, 2010
Get the Heinous Anusmug. Hillarrhea is an extreme former of ass hurt felt exclusively by indoctrinated liberal zombies who were disappointed when the lying, murderous, traitorous socialist power-hungry lesbian android cuntbag they mistakenly worship as the picture of strength and feminism gets beaten to the Oval Office by the orange guy from celebrity apprentice, coincidentally the only guy getting more side ass than her husband. Symptoms include calling anyone who may have a differing opinion a misogynist/homophobe/xenophobe/ islamophobe/racist/bigot/deplorable or any combination thereof, and protesting outside Trump's hotel.
The mass amount of Hillarrhea see from those who drank Hillary'so kool-aid only proves that while liberals paint conservative so as intolerant, the liberals themselves are the most intolerant people of all!
by Mjolnir12982 November 10, 2016
Get the Hillarrheamug. To properly perform the danger yank, one must pop a cialis/adderol combo, watch a Golden girls rerun at full volume, get into a wallsquat position without any pants on, and jerk it with a two-finger-overhead-away-from-the-brain quick stroke, attempting to climax before knees lock or your significant other enters the room...
If there was an awkward breakup conversation to be had before this point, you've just bypassed it... Congratulation Jism.
If there was an awkward breakup conversation to be had before this point, you've just bypassed it... Congratulation Jism.
Tommy packed his car the night before Liz caught him mid Danger Yank. She wasn't even finished dialing her mom for tearful advice before he had the Datsun in gear, driving away from her bullshit. Glorious.
by Mjolnir12982 January 14, 2017
Get the Danger Yankmug.