Mjolnir12982's definitions
Based upon the introductory social practice of gripping another's phallus in an overhand fashion, and providing an unrequested and unsanitary, yet meaty, sweaty, and oddly satisfying handjob, engaged in by boy scout masters to their pledges once their parents' minivans get lost on the horizon. May also be accompanied by a frigid and unsolicited finger in the anus or a halitosis-laden and toothy rimjob. Because hey, Traps are gay, but a mouth is a mouthand 20 bucks is twenty bucks.
Look man I have a buyer lined up for the drugs! You gonna tell me where they are? Or you wanna give me the ol' Scoutmaster's Handshake all day!?!
by Mjolnir12982 October 30, 2018
Get the Scoutmaster's Handshakemug. Derived from the term Blitzkrieg, or lightning war in German, to verbally Blitzkrieg somebody is to attack them in in machine-gun repetition who is the most brutal insults you can muster at any given point in time, not pausing to take a breath, or allow your opponent a word edgewise. The name is of course derived from the strategy of shock Warfare tactics utilized by the Nazis in World War II period however no one actually dies during a verbal Blitzkrieg, but the goal is to make the other person wish they were dead.
Guy 1: (tells boring bullshit story,)
Guy 2: you know that story actually reminds me of the last time I was fucking your mother? I was one of the first guys in line so she hadn't been used up yet, anywho... I decided at that point to go ass to pussy, and I remember thinking to myself distinctly that her pussy was so fucking tight, no fucking way of baby came out of there no fucking way, you're adopted dude. Then her sibilance, would you tasted like hot dog water by the way, spattered me about the face so I reach back the fucking Florida and pimp slap that bitch in the middle of Nebraska just like the Avenue where I picked her up for the gangbang for a crack rock and hit a crystal meth in 20 bucks. And after that I told her how much I just wish that she had either swallowed you or made like you were her car keys locked inside of her Sentra and pulled you out with a coat hanger.
Guy 1: okay enough with the verbal Blitzkrieg, I'll stop telling the fucking story.
Guy 2: you know that story actually reminds me of the last time I was fucking your mother? I was one of the first guys in line so she hadn't been used up yet, anywho... I decided at that point to go ass to pussy, and I remember thinking to myself distinctly that her pussy was so fucking tight, no fucking way of baby came out of there no fucking way, you're adopted dude. Then her sibilance, would you tasted like hot dog water by the way, spattered me about the face so I reach back the fucking Florida and pimp slap that bitch in the middle of Nebraska just like the Avenue where I picked her up for the gangbang for a crack rock and hit a crystal meth in 20 bucks. And after that I told her how much I just wish that she had either swallowed you or made like you were her car keys locked inside of her Sentra and pulled you out with a coat hanger.
Guy 1: okay enough with the verbal Blitzkrieg, I'll stop telling the fucking story.
by Mjolnir12982 June 13, 2017
Get the verbal blitzkriegmug. A fraternity initiation in which four young men stand in a circle facing counterclockwise with their pants around their ankles and stick their right thumbs up the ass of the person in front of them and suck on their left thumb. They then march in a circle while some cheesy music like the song they used to torture Daryl on The Walking Dead plays, until someone shouts "switch" at which point they switch directions and thumbs. Rinse and repeat.
I was pledging for Chi Phi and they made us pull the Mississauga Switch for an hour. I'll never listen to EASY STREET again. Chi Phi eats too much corn...
by Mjolnir12982 April 2, 2017
Get the Mississauga Switchmug. This one's for the ladies!
Hide a bottle, dildo, or other phallic object in the sheets of your bed. Then initiate sexytime with your man. You'Lloyd need to ride his dick in reverse cowgirl position. Then, right as he'said about to bust his nut, tell him not to pull out, and that you'll "Casey Anthony" the kid after it's out! When he starts to say "What the fuck???", rapidly shove your hidden phallus up his ass an pull it out like you'really starting a chainsaw! Hilarity ensues!
Hide a bottle, dildo, or other phallic object in the sheets of your bed. Then initiate sexytime with your man. You'Lloyd need to ride his dick in reverse cowgirl position. Then, right as he'said about to bust his nut, tell him not to pull out, and that you'll "Casey Anthony" the kid after it's out! When he starts to say "What the fuck???", rapidly shove your hidden phallus up his ass an pull it out like you'really starting a chainsaw! Hilarity ensues!
by Mjolnir12982 September 23, 2016
Get the Filthy Munchausenmug. An old Thai pastime involving at least four participants, two of whom must be male, a few spare chromosomes, and at least two viagra.
First the two males in question must buttfuck the other two participants for an equal, aforementioned period of time, without climaxing. Then, they must pull their shitdicks out and stand helmet to helmet, hands behind their backs, and swordfish the using only their hips, creating a meatsaber duel not unlike Luke vs Vader in Return of the Jedi. Neither can move their feet, or use any part of their body but their Dicks. First to quit, fall to a knee in pain, or breaks formation, loses, and must blow the victor.
First the two males in question must buttfuck the other two participants for an equal, aforementioned period of time, without climaxing. Then, they must pull their shitdicks out and stand helmet to helmet, hands behind their backs, and swordfish the using only their hips, creating a meatsaber duel not unlike Luke vs Vader in Return of the Jedi. Neither can move their feet, or use any part of their body but their Dicks. First to quit, fall to a knee in pain, or breaks formation, loses, and must blow the victor.
If you have never witnesses a game of Chocolate-Frosted Tummy-Sticks, no example will do it justice...
by Mjolnir12982 October 19, 2016
Get the Chocolate-Frosted Tummy-Sticksmug. The sensation that one's sphincter is actually aflame, usually occurring after eating bad tex-mex, taking a really nasty shit, or pulling the Steve-O Bottle Rocket stunt from JACKASS NUMBER TWO...
GUY1: Dude, why did I have to go to Chipotle on my lunch break? Now I've got to sit through this board meeting with my heinous anus! My Asshole must look like a cigarette burn on the Sunday morning comics!
by Mjolnir12982 April 18, 2010
Get the Heinous Anusmug. Hillarrhea is an extreme former of ass hurt felt exclusively by indoctrinated liberal zombies who were disappointed when the lying, murderous, traitorous socialist power-hungry lesbian android cuntbag they mistakenly worship as the picture of strength and feminism gets beaten to the Oval Office by the orange guy from celebrity apprentice, coincidentally the only guy getting more side ass than her husband. Symptoms include calling anyone who may have a differing opinion a misogynist/homophobe/xenophobe/ islamophobe/racist/bigot/deplorable or any combination thereof, and protesting outside Trump's hotel.
The mass amount of Hillarrhea see from those who drank Hillary'so kool-aid only proves that while liberals paint conservative so as intolerant, the liberals themselves are the most intolerant people of all!
by Mjolnir12982 November 10, 2016
Get the Hillarrheamug.