Rigid Shit Sticks

Rigid Shit Sticks:

1) when you are deadleg shit shuffling to the toilet and feel your bowels starting to leak through your asshole, you stand a locking all joints in both legs, waiting for that Mondo dook the bubble is way backed up into your lower intestines until you get to the toilet

2) natural reaction of luberal dimocunt letfist assholes whenever they piss and moan about inconsequential bullshit like gun control, only to be rebuked by facts and logic from Trump supporters, and having no natural logical counter argument they revert to playing the race card, only realize that they played that fucking violin solo for so long it's now in the public domain!
I love watching all the letfist, luberal, dimocunt Rigid Shit Sticks that occur when they get called out on their bullshit
by Mjolnir12982 February 28, 2018
mugGet the Rigid Shit Sticksmug.

Scoutmaster's Handshake

Based upon the introductory social practice of gripping another's phallus in an overhand fashion, and providing an unrequested and unsanitary, yet meaty, sweaty, and oddly satisfying handjob, engaged in by boy scout masters to their pledges once their parents' minivans get lost on the horizon. May also be accompanied by a frigid and unsolicited finger in the anus or a halitosis-laden and toothy rimjob. Because hey, Traps are gay, but a mouth is a mouthand 20 bucks is twenty bucks.
Look man I have a buyer lined up for the drugs! You gonna tell me where they are? Or you wanna give me the ol' Scoutmaster's Handshake all day!?!
by Mjolnir12982 October 30, 2018
mugGet the Scoutmaster's Handshakemug.

Himalayan Pinstripe

When having vaginal sex in the doggy style position, the guy inserts his index finger into her asshole, removing a globule of shit. When she turs around to ask what the fuck he thinks he is doing, he attempts to paint a line from the closest side of her face down the length of her body. Extra points if he makes it to her ankle before she presses charges.
Bro 1: Dude, you and Krista are still down for that 5fdp show Friday, right?

Bro 2: Nah. I gave her the old Himalayan Pinstripe the other day, so we are done, I am broke from posting bail, and the judge said I couldn't leave the county...
by Mjolnir12982 June 15, 2016
mugGet the Himalayan Pinstripemug.

Heinous Anus

The sensation that one's sphincter is actually aflame, usually occurring after eating bad tex-mex, taking a really nasty shit, or pulling the Steve-O Bottle Rocket stunt from JACKASS NUMBER TWO...
GUY1: Dude, why did I have to go to Chipotle on my lunch break? Now I've got to sit through this board meeting with my heinous anus! My Asshole must look like a cigarette burn on the Sunday morning comics!
by Mjolnir12982 April 18, 2010
mugGet the Heinous Anusmug.

Hillarrhea

Hillarrhea is an extreme former of ass hurt felt exclusively by indoctrinated liberal zombies who were disappointed when the lying, murderous, traitorous socialist power-hungry lesbian android cuntbag they mistakenly worship as the picture of strength and feminism gets beaten to the Oval Office by the orange guy from celebrity apprentice, coincidentally the only guy getting more side ass than her husband. Symptoms include calling anyone who may have a differing opinion a misogynist/homophobe/xenophobe/ islamophobe/racist/bigot/deplorable or any combination thereof, and protesting outside Trump's hotel.
The mass amount of Hillarrhea see from those who drank Hillary'so kool-aid only proves that while liberals paint conservative so as intolerant, the liberals themselves are the most intolerant people of all!
by Mjolnir12982 November 10, 2016
mugGet the Hillarrheamug.

Snack-Packing

General terminology for the punitive practice amongst incarcerated criminals, of forcing a flavored pudding cup from a snack pack into the recipient's anus and then having one ore more prisoners sodomize the recipient.

While there are several variations of this practice in play across several prisons in the United States, what is generally accepted is that the exoticness of the snack pack flavor, number of syllables in it's name, and number of people pulling the train on the recipient, all increase in direct proportion to the severity of the offense. So if there's two to three people in line, and a vanilla/chocolate/strawberry pudding cup, it's probably a minor offense, like not sitting down to fart/piss. If the whole cell block is lined up and you hear the words "dragonberry/passionfruit-thin mint/fig newton-Gluten-free kiwi, lime, and chinchilla vegeterian..." assume someone blew up a fucking planet.
Dude, Justin in D wing said they're snack-packing Nico after lights out! Not sure why, but the pudding cup is gingerbread alfalfa cucumber lime and lavender... im staying the fuck back when the ramrod rodeo kicks off!
by Mjolnir12982 April 10, 2017
mugGet the Snack-Packingmug.

Danger Yank

To properly perform the danger yank, one must pop a cialis/adderol combo, watch a Golden girls rerun at full volume, get into a wallsquat position without any pants on, and jerk it with a two-finger-overhead-away-from-the-brain quick stroke, attempting to climax before knees lock or your significant other enters the room...

If there was an awkward breakup conversation to be had before this point, you've just bypassed it... Congratulation Jism.
Tommy packed his car the night before Liz caught him mid Danger Yank. She wasn't even finished dialing her mom for tearful advice before he had the Datsun in gear, driving away from her bullshit. Glorious.
by Mjolnir12982 January 14, 2017
mugGet the Danger Yankmug.