Mjolnir12982's definitions

Drowsy Schiavo

A method of suicide where one chases a fewe oxycodones with liquor before putting his/her ass over their head (satellite dish position), bulldogging a bottle of NyQuil rectally, and masturbating furiously to achieve orgasm before brain death. So named because one'side face will have the same blank expression as Terri Schiavo before the court ordered her feeding tube removed when their body is discovered.

After JI'm lost his job, life savings, wife, kids, and house in the divorce, he decided to pull a Drowsy Schiavo and get beamed up like Anton Yelchin.

by Mjolnir12982 August 31, 2016

Deadleg shit shuffle

The act of quickly making one's way to the toilet with one or both legs completely locked at all joints in an effort to compress the rectum/anus, and avoid dropping a mondo shit in one's pants (see chocolate shotgun, shart, or shitney spears). Most frequently occurs within 15 mins of eating a hot pocket, or Chipotle.

I told Linda that chorizo looked suspect! Now we can trace her deadleg shit shuffle by following the brown trail!

by Mjolnir12982 August 18, 2016

Scoutmaster's Handshake

Based upon the introductory social practice of gripping another's phallus in an overhand fashion, and providing an unrequested and unsanitary, yet meaty, sweaty, and oddly satisfying handjob, engaged in by boy scout masters to their pledges once their parents' minivans get lost on the horizon. May also be accompanied by a frigid and unsolicited finger in the anus or a halitosis-laden and toothy rimjob. Because hey, Traps are gay, but a mouth is a mouthand 20 bucks is twenty bucks.

Look man I have a buyer lined up for the drugs! You gonna tell me where they are? Or you wanna give me the ol' Scoutmaster's Handshake all day!?!

by Mjolnir12982 October 30, 2018

Rigid Shit Sticks

Rigid Shit Sticks:

1) when you are deadleg shit shuffling to the toilet and feel your bowels starting to leak through your asshole, you stand a locking all joints in both legs, waiting for that Mondo dook the bubble is way backed up into your lower intestines until you get to the toilet

2) natural reaction of luberal dimocunt letfist assholes whenever they piss and moan about inconsequential bullshit like gun control, only to be rebuked by facts and logic from Trump supporters, and having no natural logical counter argument they revert to playing the race card, only realize that they played that fucking violin solo for so long it's now in the public domain!

I love watching all the letfist, luberal, dimocunt Rigid Shit Sticks that occur when they get called out on their bullshit

by Mjolnir12982 February 28, 2018

Serbian Monocle

The act of pulling out of a woman's mouth whilst receiving head, only to accidentally poke at her eye while jisming

Dude1: Ralphie got an amazing blowjob from that chick at the party, but he fucked up py pulling out and giving her the Serbian Monocle...

by Mjolnir12982 January 25, 2010

Bronc-Anus

The feeling one gets when their asshole is stretched to excess by what is passing through it, either on the way out, or the way in. Characterized by a change in the walking motion of the sufferer, constant digging or checking in the ass, or if seated on a park bench or open car trunk, the actual anus hanging out

CANDY: You ok, Cindy? You look like you're in pain...
CINDY: I ate a lot of popcorn when we saw CLASH OF THE TITANS and got constipated, so I just unleashed the Kraken and now I have a bronc-anus...

DAMON: Mike, stop sitting on the trunk latch of your car. Your Bronc-Anus is hanging out. You have a lot of buttsex or something?
MIKE: In prison such decisions aren't always yours to make...

by Mjolnir12982 April 18, 2010

Gay Privelege

Gay Privelege occurs among groups that historically promote themselves as marginalized, using perceived victimhood as an excuse to promote ridiculous bullshit like white privelege, gender nonconformity, and the Russian Collusion Narrative, with near impunity. Utilizing Identity Politics as a means to disregard an argument outright instead of actively participating in dialogue, those who weaponize their Gay Privelege have furthered false narratives ranging from Global Warming, to Antifa as a non-terrorist group, to the Epstein "Suicide" through self-martyrdom as a discouragement of response, particularly when a camera is present.

Check your privelege, Boomer!

Check your Gay Privelege, Faggot!

*Faggot lops his dick off and kills himself*

by Mjolnir12982 November 10, 2019