Mark Shackelford's definitions

weasel squeezers

Men's technical cycling shorts.

I wear baggies over my weasel squeezers for my urban assaults.

by Mark Shackelford August 20, 2007

guitortion

An uncontrolled contorting of the face of a guitar player making repeated, irreconilable, humiliating mistakes during a solo at a live performance.

That guy's solo was so bad he had the guitortion turned up to nine.

by Mark Shackelford May 12, 2007

The Crack

Short for Jack in the Crack, another name for Jack in the Box, a fast food restaurant chain.

I went down to The Crack and had a feeding frenzy off the dollar menu.

by Mark Shackelford May 7, 2007

phobotard

Someone with a fear of being late.

He's such a phobotard he gets to work an hour early.

by Mark Shackelford August 20, 2007

Vader sneeze

An involuntary, rapid expulsion of air and mucus through the nose while wearing a fullface helmet.

<mother> What is all over your face?
<sport biker> Snot.
<mom> WHY is it all over your face?
<sport biker> I Vader sneezed while riding a wheelie.
<mother> That's nice. Now go wash your face.

by Mark Shackelford June 27, 2007

futon

A really uncomfortable couch that easily converts to a really uncomfortable bed.

I see your little brother has a futon. Did he get that free with the purchase of his new Yugo?

by Mark Shackelford February 29, 2008